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Anon joins girl's night (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 4 weeks ago by to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 9 points 4 weeks ago (10 children)

as an nb ambassador in the gender demilitarized zone it's really crazy to me that people choose either/or

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  • [–] 6 points 4 weeks ago (9 children)

    It's something that other people chose for you, you don't pick it yourself

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  • [–] 2 points 4 weeks ago (8 children)

    it's something you pick through your own behavior.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 weeks ago (7 children)

    That's kinda like saying you can pick your own nickname through behavior. Like, yeah, you're probably never gonna get called big tuna if you never touch the stuff at the office, but not really

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  • [–] 2 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

    That's exactly how someone would get called Big Tuna. It's like a huge guy named Tony Tiny

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  • [–] 4 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

    I don't think I've ever heard of an ironic nickname applied to something that someone is totally neutral about. Maybe if they make a big deal about hating tuna? But that wasn't what I described

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  • [–] 1 point 4 weeks ago (1 child)

    Or maybe they used to work for a cat food cannery idk how some nicknames happen

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  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago

    Well then all your coworkers do, to, so they're probably not gonna call you that, and it would be unusual between spouses and other friends but I guess not impossible? That's kinda the thing about nicknames, you don't really have much control over it, it's really subject to the whims of other people

    In fact, getting a nickname at all is never a sure thing, just like being one of the girls or the guys

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Not like that at all. I want to hang out with men and women so I make friends with men and women. I invite them to stuff and they invite me to stuff. Sometimes I go to hang out and it winds up being mostly or all men. Sometimes mostly or all women. It really doesn't matter and the only thing that really makes the difference one way or the other is who is available at the time.

    Avoid people who view their gender as an enclave cause they are for sure misogynist, misandrist, or both. Make yourself open to people who are more gender-agnostic if that term I just made up makes any sense.

    It is a choice. You get to choose your friends. It's not RNG.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Most of that is not especially relevant. Being one of the girls or one of the guys has nothing to do with gender as an enclave or misandry or whatever. Clicking with any group of people isn't even guaranteed and you can absolutely hang out with a diverse mix of people and be considered one of either or one of both. But it's up to the group and the group dynamics, not you.

    Being annoying and pedantic is a pretty good way of never getting picked as either, though.

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