- 48k
- 96k
- 192k
For those wondering
For those wondering
The middle option needs to be highlighted with a "most popular" text above it.
400 emails per week is CRAZY
I know, crazy low number.
Are you being facetious or do you actually have to interact with greater then 80 emails a day?
Some jobs really are email operator in a trenchcoat
I sell and buy things all day, average emails per day over the last 3 years is about 120. 120 does not count auto responses from my system which go into their own folder automatically. I just emptied those last week, but it was like 93,000 in that folder. Took about an hour to delete them
I send like two emails per day and it’s exhausting.
I can imagine someone who works in sales, marketing, support, or an executive assistant can be using email that much.
I will read that many, sure, but a lot of them are reports with a line or two.
I send 10 to 20 a day from those 400.
Pretty sure they were being sarcastic
I definitely have coworkers that field that number of emails a week.
I don’t, fuck that, but yeah our support team does for sure.
Ah if you are in support then I can see getting ticket updates on email which could be a lot. But for someone in a project team, it would be a lot smaller I imagine. I do get a lot of useless emails from the company like shitty seminars, company news etc that I don't give a fuck about which could be like 15 or 20 a day but I don't read any of them so wouldn't count that.
I sometimes get that many, quite a bit more if I count all the emails I automatically mark as read and put in a folder.
I stripped nearly all spam/unnecessary emails out and still get around 120 or so per day, about 100 of those work emails. I need to respond to maybe 10-20 emails a day, but I also get daily reports I have to read, project emails, support emails, emails from my kid's school, medical, financial...
And only 3 poop breaks? Is that per day or per month? As it's stated, it appears to be for the duration of the contract...
*unlimited email plan will automatically reduce throughput to 1 email/hr when weekly count exceeds 500
"emails per week: unlimited"
Just forward every employees email to him, he'll handle them all
You joke, but you're just describing contractors
Kinda, but usually you're sorta expected to put in your best effort for every billed hour regardless.
Instead of laying things out like this, what you can do is bill more hours (within reason) per hour worked to customers who pay less per hour. Gotta be careful with that though.
usually you're sorta expected to put in your best effort for every billed hour regardless

I worked as a consultant for years and yeah, exactly this, and more! One thing knowledge-based consultants do is reuse old work but bill clients for a flat rate instead of hourly. It's less than paying for new work, but usually much more than the hourly cost if they were billed for just the time required to update the material.
I recycled old work constantly. For a well-paying, reasonable client, I'd sometimes only bill for the time required to update the work and comp the rest as a gift. Last minute, minor updates were free within reason.
Penny pinching, uncooperative clients paid full price and I'd bill the rush rate to the minute for last minute updates. On average, great clients paid less for work than the ones trying to strangle a deal out of me.
That's a very dangerous game, especially compared to just finding a higher paying single job.
You shit more than three times a day?
I don't, but my boss doesn't have to know that.
Bingo! Poop breaks are code for “freedom time.”
Boss gets a dollar, I get a dime, that's why I poop on company time!
You get a nickel, boss gets a buck. Steal the catalytic converter From the company truck
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime,
That was a poem for a simpler time.
Now boss gets a billion,
While workers get jack
That's why we strike
To get our lives back!
You don’t?..
I need to go see a doctor.
What if it's one really long shit? Like 24 hours
IBS gang rise up!
always assumed people went once per day
If we are being real, I go anywhere from 1 to 3 times a day on average, but I have mild IBS. On a bad day, it can be more than 3.
Shitting, shitposting, these are just words. You're gonna want the platinum plan boss trust.
My gastroenterologist said that three times a day is too much and three times a week is too little
I can’t find the artist looking on my phone, if someone knows, please share.
Edit: fixed with the help from @Darkna4231@piefed.blahaj.zone and @wander1236@sh.itjust.works
It's from @mildnihilist on Instagram/X/Reddit back in like 2022-23? -- someone cropped out the artist's name (why are people like this)

I know a user here that used to do that with every single one of their posts, and their reasoning was that it's an "ad". Every time the user was called out for being weird about it they got defensive and called it an ad - only to get heavily downvoted for it.
It didn't change much, they kept doing it for a long time. I've seen references in their text body lately, at least a few times.
mildnihilist

This meme is pretty wildly accurate to my last pay negotiation. (Tried nicely for 1 year, ultimately had to quit for them to take me seriously, don't recommend doing this if you aren't ready and prepared financially.)
I had the 8 hour day package +1% bonus raise 9 hour 1.1% Until emails stop 2%
They opted for the cheapest. People are still confused months later why i stop responding at 3:01 PM.
I actually offer a free tier for eligible corporations: 37.5 hours a week, and no extras. Just sign my ToS.
I will extract and sell your data. All your data.
Yeah no I'm not putting an SLA on my GI tract. It will break when it wants to
So, what happens if you do this in an interview, or attach subscription plan offerings to your resume?
Asking for a friend.
You get laughed at and told to get out.
Now, if you're an independent contractor you can start doing something like this but formatted a bit more official...
So, if more of us start doing it, they'd have to either laugh a lot of people off (at the interview stage, so already pretty deep in nowadays) or eat it and swallow it.
Generally speaking, there is a little negotiation you can do around salary and benefits when/if you reach that point in an interview. That said, many companies will give you an offer and you can either take it or leave it. Showing up with a 'package' offering like this will get you laughed out of the room.
I think what's going on with the "torment matrix" problem is that the people who do the most heinous shit don't usually have much imagination. When they see someone dreaming up a horrible scenario they see it as an unironic opportunity. Maybe they wouldn't have thought of it otherwise.
More succinctly: don't give them any ideas!
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