This is completely for funsies, satire, and 1st amendment approved. ✅

My sister killed herself last week. We have services for her later this week.

She was an international translator, spoke over 12 languages, worked for foreign governments, professional sports teams, fortune 500s. She played a few outdoor sports. She leaves behind her son & husband.

Mental health issues run in my family. My mom has schizoaffect disorder, has made multiple attempts in the past, including ones I walked in on. I grew up around or in various forms of therapy for my own shit, including some intense childhood trauma.

We all have our own depression. My sister struggled with her depression & I’ve struggled with mine. I have 3 kids, and they’ve kept me anchored to this world in a responsibility sense. My wife really keeps me going.

Her son is 7. Her husband struggles with anger issues & understanding his son. My main link to her son was through my sister, and I honestly barely know the husband. When she visited, it was always her & her son. Now, I’m not really sure how I can stay in his life.

Towards the end, these last 6-9 months, she closed herself off so much. I texted her weekly, saying I loved her & was thinking about her. I didn’t get a response for 3 months. She eventually got back to me in September, and that’s when we last spoke. I know I tried to keep her here. I don’t feel guilt over the outcome; just sad.

I don’t really need much—my church & local community is supporting me right now. Maybe this is just voidposting / shouting into the oblivion that’s modern internet.

But, fuck, suicide sucks. I’ve had other friends pass from it, but this one really sucks… I thought I had more time with her. I wish I could have one more conversation.

Hug your homies & loved ones.

I wanted something easier on the modeling side, so I made an estus flask inspired potion bottle with fogged glass. I added a dark souls image as a backdrop & put some point lights in the glass to help them read. It’s a little sparse, but I haven’t rendered a ton of objects. This is my first time rendering in a few years.

This is a strange post, but I’ve noticed a strange shift in the last week or two. It felt like people are more tense, things are ratcheting up in different ways, and it’s hard to describe besides “the vibe is off.”

I asked some other friends who I consider reasonably good empaths. They told me they felt a similar shift that’s been hard to explain, but a feeling that something is out of place or shifted a few degrees the wrong way, more than usual. Maybe it’s collective paranoia with my friends & echo chamber.

Has anyone had similar feelings? Do things feel off axis? Do people seem more irritable or less collaborative than “normal”?

I added the tag line.