A long time ago, my then-scrum master pitched an idea to us: ID badges with little microphones. The microphones wouldn't record anything, but they'd constantly monitor the ambient noise to see if we were having the kind of excited, buzzy conversations that signaled innovation. Once we had them, we could tune our days to maximize innovation.

I was brand new at the company but I told him that everyone was trying to catch lightning in a bottle, but nobody was willing to build a fucking battery. Then I told him the day we adopted that policy, I'd hand in my resignation. It never came up again.

Motherfuckers will try anything and they always have.

Oh no! Someone forgot all the fancy dances we do today is so the common populace doesn't eat the ruling classes! Looks like we should remind him.

Thats called a colonoscopy

Sometimes I feel like a simple....70% power jab to the head when billionaires say stupid shit would stop them saying a lot of dumb shit.

Here's an idea, and I'm just spitballing here... What if for every 1 Million dollars of net worth you have, you have to rub down your genitals with fresh stinging nettles for 1 minute?

Billionaire lawyer of Morgan and Morgan sponsor of tampa bay buccaneers 🤮 https://share.google/tZyx9RlE84v6nd2as what an ad🤮

Found the article:

https://people.com/morgan-and-morgan-billionaire-attorney-says-he-told-remote-employees-we-re-going-to-put-a-camera-up-your-ass-12074943

Apparently we live in an age of business owners who want to drive people away from their businesses.

Yes ok, if you really want to see it, but I gotta know: how many raccoons is one camera?

Genuinely how hard is it to at least pretend you're not a nazi pedophile while being a nazi pedophile?

Not that I'm complaining necessarily. At least they're making it easy to know which companies to avoid.

If it's up my ass, is it facing inward looking at my colon or facing outward looking at my underwear?

In the 90s, there was a funny website that had an article on the "world's first rectal camera." It was an article so I think it covered the "why" and "who" and "how" and everything. When they got to the photos, they were just normal photos with a round black border around them.

It was funny. I wish I could find it again.

I didn't know there was a fetish of learning what Taylor Farms really provides.

This dude spending too much time on Youporn....or something like that.

Jokes on you I do every 5 years.

(Schedule your colonoscopy folks)

And we’ll put a falling blade in your neck.

Where's the link?

More specifically, he's threatening colonoscopy. Endless surveillance of your intestines.

Last time someone threatened to put a camera up my ass, it was a doctor

EDIT: We're married now

but will it feature a flashlight? or night vision? or heat vision? or infrared? so many questions...

Nsfw: https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/33587

So, he wants to give a free medical checkup to every worker, or is he going to make them pay for the cameras?