I mean, I think more people than that do care about your immediate a safety and well being. If you collapse to the floor in the middle of your bowling league, they will call an ambulance. And if you break down on the side of the road, odds are someone will stop to help you out eventually.

But if your problem is "I'm sad", then.... what am I supposed to do about that?

My depression often tells me those people don't care that much either. But, my parents are dead, I don't have a partner, and maybe my friends aren't "close" enough.

The sad truth in this world is that apart from your close friends, your partners and your parents (if you're lucky) nobody cares too much about you in general.

I've learned that if I open my mouth and admit I'm struggling or a little depressed, the relationship ends very quickly. Even if you aren't noticeably depressed, it doesn't affect them at all and they only know it because you admitted to it, it's like they think it's contagious. Now, no matter what it's big happy smile and I AM ABSOLUTELY GREAT LIFE IS GOOD HOW ARE YOU? My therapist is the only person I will ever tell when I'm having a rough time and even then sometimes it's really hard to admit it and not keep pretending everything is good.

i stopped sharing or trying to reach out a long time ago. its much easier to keep people around if I just do unhealthy "habits" and try and hide evidence than risk losing more people.

i trust nobody anymore. safer.

Going through this right now

It makes those specific people that much more precious.

"The mind is an excellent servant, but a terrible master." David Foster Wallace

Yes! Our brains when left unchecked can be a torment nexus - stating grounded in reality (not your thoughts!) is crucial

Yeah my sentiment. Feels like if a person doesn't give you the response you need/want then I guess you move on. Weird advice because people bitch about people going around with their problems

I've found Brené Brown's way of describing empathy, and imo answering this question, helpful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HznVuCVQd10&t=89

The most important thing is empathising, and if you express that by saying "that sucks" that's pretty good.

Saying "that sucks" is probably fine to say but it's not my first choice.

Really the best thing you can do is show that you're listening while they open up. I interpret that as listening mostly and making brief comments (something you can say in 5 seconds) relevant to their story.

Guess that's basically point 3 in more detail.

The practical stuff is cool too. It shows you care

Amen man. You have a great approach and this is the way we should be teaching folks.

I have a similar story. As a adult on my own, I just had so much perspective and ability to like deal with my depression. I also learned to just let it be and not fight it, an that usually just disempowered it and it was not as big of a deal.

Personally I feel too many folks don't think of mental health issues like physical problems. They treat them as this special mysterious thing, but a lot of the same solutions and techniques you'd deal with for physical problems or chronic pain really pragmatically translate to mental health.

And like mental health, folks with physical issues who refuse to acknowledge them often make them worse and become defined by them. And a lot of folks are really stupid and stubborn about these things and too proud to seek help or act like acknowledging the issue would make it worse or something. Or they might just go join some online community where they can complain without every having to get the pushback of changing something or seeking treatment, and fall into the self-pity cycle.

Way to stretch that arm, too.

On it thank you. But can't due to working too much

Yes, it just gave me indigestion

😑i feel you. Makes me think about gang members that rap about their life and people try to retaliate (to the lyrics). You're just trying to be yourself and then everyone around you is just weird.

Both of these things can only help. Meditation also helps

A relative dropped their wii fit balance board on me. Unironically started drinking water and noticing a more grounded feeling by trying to impress my wii fit waifu. On days I skip, I notice a dip in my mood and energy.

If only I could afford the $200 co-pay per visit. Some of us are too poor to afford mental health.

yep. i had a girlfriend with depression.

she refused to do anything about it. other than weaponize it against me. and blame me for it. it was horrible.

many folks just refuse treatment and act like the world is the problem, or their friends/family are the problem.

"Thanks, I'm cured."

Physical exercise has a very good evidence base, as good as antidepressants and without side effects.

For a brief time, the sadness is overshadowed by physical pain and a burdensome sense of weakness, inferiority and futility.

The best way to do something is to do it once, decide it is impossibly difficult, and then tell anyone who encourages you to try again to fuck right off.

The second best way to do something is to not do it and say you'd have failed anyway even if you'd tried.

It’s good to change things up once in a while!

It literally is, though. You see the line "Touch grass!" get thrown around a lot. But seriously. Go out and touch some fucking grass. Take your shoes and socks off. Get your piggily wiggles deep into the earth on a sunny day.

as someone who has been on that particular moon i have to agree. i need to add sleep hygiene, healthy and enough food and excercise. It might not get you out of a crisis but things like low blood sugar and vitamin d do affect a persons mood significantly. so it might not be enough to cure depression but it very much helps with stabilization

Yeah this is a "I hate to tell you this, but it does in fact work" situation.

Doing those things won't fix everything, of course, but they do help. Like, OP should be lucky they have someone to talk to, who's taking an active interest in their wellbeing

Yoga legit really great a managing stress and getting your mind off tense subjects

unless one of those tense subjects is a pinched nerve in your spinal column.

100% agree. The "easy answers" are pre-requisites. You don't get to bitch about them not helping until you've actually done them and still feel bad. See also:

• When was the last time you ate?
• What did you eat, and why didn't it include a green vegetable?
• Are you getting enough sleep?
• Are you getting enough good sleep? (Sleep apnea is extremely common and also quicker and more convenient than you think to diagnose and treat.)
• Are you taking a daily multivitamin?

People dismiss these out of hand without actually trying them. Your body affects your mood a lot. I've had to deal with so many people both at work and in my personal life who were perpetually crabby because they never learned how to properly take care of themselves.

Except yoga is aimed at something way beyond the scope of tense subjects. If I ever encounter anyone advising me yoga like this I will punch them in the face

What do you expect others to help you with in this situation?

Or the ones who play Misery Olympics and try to 1-up (1-down?) you.

The problem doesn't need to be solved in order to help others. There are plenty of unsolvable problems that people need help with. That response is a direct way to show empathy and let's the other person know that you can share things you've done to mitigate the problem that did or didnt work. Even if it's not a solution, it can help skip steps where one might fumble.

As someone with a recurring severe depressive mood disorder diagnosis, I always found the validation helpful. I could complain without pushback to them. And, it help dissuade me that I was actually the source of everything bad. But, ultimately, I needed to get pharmacological help AND focus the core health items: sleep, food/water/diet, exercise/activity.

Not sure why this was downvoted. I mean if this was Lemmy shitpost, I get it.

Yeah. Lot of people on the spectrum see everything as problem/solution. Like if you're venting, say so.

I get the same shit. Like look around the fucking world has gone insane.

I'll second this treatment. This in combination with conventional medication, therapy, and making active choices in my life to improve my minute to minute experience. You know that stuff that mildly annoys you, but doesn't bother you enough to actually fix? Fix it ASAP, those experiences built up in me like poison, and I don't think that I'm that different from the average person. Regardless, weed and hiking was definitely the foundation.