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Why I stopped talking about my feelings (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[–] 56 points 3 months ago (9 children)

The sad truth in this world is that, apart from your close friends, your partners and your parents (if you're lucky), nobody cares too much about you in general. This can be devastating, but it can also be liberating.

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  • [–] 36 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    I mean, I think more people than that do care about your immediate a safety and well being. If you collapse to the floor in the middle of your bowling league, they will call an ambulance. And if you break down on the side of the road, odds are someone will stop to help you out eventually.

    But if your problem is "I'm sad", then.... what am I supposed to do about that?

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  • [–] 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    That and in your first example you're calling for professional help because you yourself are unable to help and that person can't help themselves.

    For depression that person can get help themselves (though of course that can be difficult to get the nerve to see a therapist/doctor) and anyone else, again, is not really qualified to treat/help you. Hence the advice in the meme.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Something I had to learn is that they're not trying to ask for help or treatment. It's one of those times where you're supposed to listen and commiserate, but not offer a fix. They likely already know that you're unable to help, and they likely already know that there isn't really a way to "fix" it, only ways to make it easier to deal with. And one of those ways is to talk with someone about it, which is probably why they brought it up. Ironically, you'll be helping so long as you don't offer help, just company.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

    Coming from the receiving end of this, it really does help to just talk to someone. Being in your own head and just heading down detrimental trains of thought is something I’ve struggled with so it’s nice to have a third party just say what you’re saying doesn’t make sense or just say yeah that sucks life isn’t fair sometimes. It’s why ‘having a shoulder to cry on’ is such a common phrase I think.

    Yeah therapy should most likely be part of a long term solution to dig into things and for some people just reiterating therapy is nothing to be ashamed of is reassuring. But yeah if someone is calling therapy is not what they need at that moment. I know when I was younger I would hide the fact that I was going to therapy because I thought, based on stereotypes from media, that doing therapy makes you weak-minded or something.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 months ago*

    The sad truth in this world is that apart from your close friends, your partners and your parents (if you're lucky) nobody cares too much about you in general.

    I've learned that if I open my mouth and admit I'm struggling or a little depressed, the relationship ends very quickly. Even if you aren't noticeably depressed, it doesn't affect them at all and they only know it because you admitted to it, it's like they think it's contagious. Now, no matter what it's big happy smile and I AM ABSOLUTELY GREAT LIFE IS GOOD HOW ARE YOU? My therapist is the only person I will ever tell when I'm having a rough time and even then sometimes it's really hard to admit it and not keep pretending everything is good.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago

    i stopped sharing or trying to reach out a long time ago. its much easier to keep people around if I just do unhealthy "habits" and try and hide evidence than risk losing more people.

    i trust nobody anymore. safer.

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