You ever find yourself saying that shit in a store? Can't tell you how many times I almost barked behind into some old woman's ear on accident. I've never done it, but I've been close.

In some parts of Asia nice homes have two kitchens. A show kitchen and a used kitchen. Sometimes the used kitchen is outdoors.

Don't fucking tell me how to chop onions, I've been chopping onions my whole life. I don't care what you saw on YouTube. And, yes, I just cracked an egg on the edge of the bowl, do you SEE any shell in the egg? No. Because I've been cracking eggs that way longer than you've been alive. Go grind sea salt, or something, leave me alone.

That's a toxic spouse. I'm guessing the criticism reaches beyond cooking technique.

Crack your eggs on a flat surface, and they’ll split cleanly around the equator. Crack them on the edge of the bowl if you want to blast a hole in one spot and end up with shell in your eggs half of the time.

Having worked in a kitchen, cooking with others brings out the most toxic version of me.

Why are you slicing carrots like its a salad? You've seen a bowl of gumbo, right? Do you need me to show you how to cut a carrot?

The same is true of my family, "you said slice, what you actually wanted me to do is chop" still elicits a feeling of disgust.

You do that by figuring out who is more enthusiastic about shouting "Yes Chef!"

This is the real answer right here!

Not just partners but really anyone it's easy if you establish who is the head chef and who is the sous-chef(s).

I'm happy to cook with as many sous-chefs as we can cram into the kitchen. Heck I'll put someone on a grill outside if I get too many. An extra two sous-chefs? Sounds like we're about to have two extra side dishes. Maybe a pie. Now the dishes are washed before we're done. Now they're dried and put away! I can find more tasks! Floors swept, counters wiped, I can find tasks for a small contingent of sous-chefs! Mad with power.

And same in reverse, there's something so hypnotic about just being the sous-chef. YES CHEF. Cut the veggies smaller YES CHEF. Just go with the flow. Ahhh

I have a tiny "one-butt kitchen" and I would also be uncomfortable using a sharp knife with anyone crowded over me as close as in the picture. But I love(d) cooking with my kids even if we had to spill over into the rest of the apartment, and now when they visit I "sous-chef" by washing and prepping the vegetables ahead of time, making sure they start with all clean dishes and an empty dishwasher to put the used ones in, and making delighted noises about how much more beautiful their dumplings are than mine, that kind of thing. And later I rearrange the dishwasher to my liking/best efficiency, because it's only when you have all the dishes that you can really determine the best arrangement.

Oh my God! One of my absolute fucking FAVORITE things my son does is he really wants to help me cook. It's absolutely fucking adorable. He just turned 6 so there's not a lot that he can manage on his own yet for actual on the stove cooking, but I let him stir certain things, help me pour certain ingredients, stuff like that and he's always so proud.

My wife and I did "date night" ever other Thursday. One of our rules was that if we decided to stay in and cook, we had to do it together. I really liked those nights, but our kitchen was fairly good size. Like you said, it's a nice situation for just chatting. It's like being on a short road trip.

A lot of people are just control freaks about their living space and they can't stand someone doing something differently than they'd do it. My mom was one of them for sure. She was also a shitty cook.

I'm not a control freak and I find it really hard to be around people who are, and goddamn there are a lot of them out there.

I'd just like to find someone who actually cooks. Everyone I date thinks cooking is gross and basically lives off those meal box services. I haven't met anyone who likes to cooks in over a decade.

I love cooking with a group of people for a just that group or an even larger group. My fav. neighborhood restaurant, I often sit at a table adjacent to the kitchen. ZOMG, it sure sounds like they are having a great time, laughing, singing, srsly.

your friends and girlfriend don't have control issues. a lot of people have massive control issues.

you're a lucky guy.

100% and like, I cannot cook with my family but my partner is an amazing lead or sous chef. She takes direction well when its my turn to lead.

Professional chefs need someone to scream and throw utensils at.

If you get in the way of a professional chef, you'll be knocked out, chopped up and served as soup.

Ya! You gotta be conscious about the space you're using. If you're going in for cuddles when I'm working the stove.... However if you're in the wings helping out with the myriad of tasks required to get a meal plated? That's when you get the chefs kiss!

This is the system we use. I cook every few days with big portions of leftovers.. She does the dishes, she says that I don't load the dishwasher efficiently.

How can people live without a dishwasher

Synergy! We do the same thing at our house, but I've gotten pretty good at minimizing the mess. One trick I use is serving everyone first, then using the same dish that held the cooked food as my own plate.

It all depends on the people. Like if I have an overall plan for what I'm making, someone coming in and trying to fill in the blanks themselves to help might just frustrate me because it's either not in the plan or requires modifications to the plan.

Like with chopping, for some things the style doesn't matter but for others, it's important and I wouldn't be happy if someone chopped the carrots instead of shaving them or something like that.

Or for putting a pot of water on to boil, I like to do all prep first before the cooking because I found that the quality improves a lot if I can put my full attention on the timing rather than juggling finishing prep and cooking at the same time (not to mention things that need to be stirred to avoid burning and the like). Putting a pot on early will end up rushing me.

I don't get bent out of shape from any of this, but whether you should ask where to help or just jump in where you think it's needed depends on the person.

Edit: lol just noticed that you had a similar exchange with someone who posted a comment more along my mindset lower down in these same comments.

You make a good point about taking on the cognitive load when offering help. I would only add that care should be taken when offering to wash dishes. Partly because it could be perceived as a criticism of the dirty dishes piling up, and partly because some people are very particular about how they get washed or loaded into the dishwasher. So use your good judgement and experience with them to phrase the offer nicely.

Per the image... You have admitted that you don't ACTUALLY cook. But couples can reheat subscription box meals together.

"You did so good microwaving that pouch, babe!"

"And you were right there with the scissors to cut the bag open, babe! and only half spilled on the counter!"

"these really are the best rainbow trout sloppy joes I've ever had, chef."

"That's because we chefed them together, babe... Like professional chefs... y'know?"

If people stay on the other side of the counter, they can heckle me and tell me all the worst thing in the universe. But don't come in my 2 square meters of cramped space where I work.

They don't need the plate that bad, people will cut the cheese on the wrapper and be okay with that.

Breed together...

Yeah it really depends on the meal but having multiple sets of hands and working on different parts is 100% doable and fun. Does this person think restaurants have a single cook too??

This is not quite universal! My wife in particular does not like assigning people on how to help her, as that is additional cognitive load on how to make someone useful to you, she much prefers people either stay out of her way, or help by just looking with their eyes and see what needs to be done.

Do agree they need to know what they are doing too, having someone who doesn't know how to chop veggies the way you like them and just start doing is definitely no good, but after sometime cooking with your partner you should know what needs doing and how to do it.