Crows. I think they would have stuff to say.

Octopi would be awesome to speak with. Or really any intelligent deep sea creature

Trees

cats. they are either the dumbest creatures on the planet or the most cunning smartasses.

Dogs, but only so I can yell "bark" at them in their language

Ants in Gaelic.

• They're ubiquitous
• They have a very different lifestyle, so would be super interesting to talk to
• They eat all sorts of things, can get anywhere, and can fuck up electronics. Seems like a nice friend to have...
• They are warlike and territorial, so I'm hoping for some leeway in terms of judgment for what humans have done to the planet.

Gaelic because whimsy

Well, I have chickens, so that's the obvious answer. But I already know what they'd say and it amounts to "feed me" 24/7

So, the next obvious answer is dogs because I love them so much. But, beyond the fantasy of it, I suspect that would end up depressing as fuck because not every dog has a good life, so what they say might drive me to homicide.

Which leaves rats. I'd go with "rodents" given the choice, but if I can only pick one, rats are the most problematic overall. The chance to talk to them and maybe negotiate them buggering off instead of getting killed would be both awesome, and possibly profitable when successful.

Personally, I choose the Mourning Doves. I'd like to be able to let some of them know that it's ok to move if their significant other passes.

Also to use them to gather information, or send them on little flight retrieval missions for coins and trinkets and what not.

Bees or ants. I wish to taste the hive mind.

I'd like to speak to tardigrades in Inuktitut. I'm pretty sure neither of us speak or understand it, it's just something I'd like to do.

Most communication is based on the context of our society. I bet we wouldn't understand the context of Dolphins for example.

Better communicate with intention. When you make good intentions clear, have patients, move slow, etc, then you can attempt communication with many animals already.

I can communicate with my cat, and I understand perfectly when she wants dinner. I can signal her that she needs to wait for a little while. I can understand her frustration when the neighbor cat visits our garden. I can see in the neighbor's cat's eyes he just want to chill here because of his enthusiastic dog housemate. I still have to figure out what that blue-tit wants from me. I left him some fresh water, see where that goes. It could be it just tries to tell me it's a bit busy in the backyard...

cats, solely so i could speak to my little girl.

Looks at the precise wording

The Yellow Slime Mold, I want to know what an amoeba thinks and what better than the worlds smartest one?

Picture for reference, and yes it's all one cell:

Cats, being a spell casting witch with a magical talking cat familiar would be amazing, we'd ride together on a flying broom at night beneath an unrealistically large full moon while clouds drift by. It would be truly meowgical. 🐱 🧹 🌕 ✨

Snarky reply: humans.

Actual reply: dogs. I already talk to my dog in English

Raccoons, possums or corvids.

Raccoons are just great, little treasure pandas. I would to live to know what they see, what their internal worlds are like.

Possums because they’re an ancient linage of marsupial, an isolate and they would sure have some ancient lore and deep oral tradional.

Corvids because I wish to understand the inner machinations of their devious bird brains.

The answer is beetles I would command them to band together and take over the world.

Bristlecone pine trees.

Humans, of course.

Dogs or Cats.

The most lucrative would be dogs, cats, or horses.

Athene brama, Athene cunicularia, Athene noctua, Bubo ascalaphus, Bubo bubo, Bubo cinerascens, Bubo virginianus, Megascops kennicottii, Megascops asio, and the overly-specific list goes on (basically, Athene, Bubo, Megascops, maybe Micrathene and Glaucidium, but mostly the first triad I'm hyper-obsessed with because most of them share this same spiritual force, this same.... Lilithian energy, when they're not embodying Stolas (with his specific manifestation being, I guess, Bubo bubo)).Maybe Corvus cornix and Corvus moneduloides (oh, hello, Lucifer, long time no see! How's it going?), maybe Dendroaspis polylepis as well.As for the language? None in particular, maybe Enochian, Egyptian or Sumerian if I gained (through gnosis) the ability to understand these as if these were my secondary languages... but I guess this kind of communication benefits from some kind of telepathic, raw, non-linguistic communication, which would convey way more information than all human languages together, which have limits on what can be signified, with requirements of "beingness", "thingness" and "timefulness" (i.e. most languages can't translate the concept of "existent non-existence that have been happening since the eternal timelessness" without leading to this very kind of surreal phrasing between the quotes).!asklemmy@lemmy.ml