I lived in the US Virgin Islands as a kid. Our back yard had a seemingly endless supply of mangoes, bananas, avocado, lime, oranges (the real stuff, not the engineered shit we eat in the mainland), grapefruit, bread fruit, acerola, plantains, and pigeon peas. It wasn't even that big a yard. Shit just grows.

Have you tried a papaya growing off the roadside?

They exist in FL and I've climbed trees to get em. I like em when they're yellow. Delicious coconut water and basically a coconut "jelly" lining. I also lived in the Caribbean my early life (2-7) so had a lot down there too, plus fresh sugarcane, guava, mangoes, and a thing we called a plum but was a small tree fruit that I also loved yellow ripeness. After a quick Google evidently called a June Plum or a hog plum. Used to eat em straight from the tree.

Processed by extracting the liquid from the pulp of the coconut...

Am I just too tired to get the joke?

Yeah, I know it is a joke and all, but coconuts doesn't have hairs or contain milk, so that particular example doesn't undermine "morphology-based phylogeny" at all.