If I understand it correctly, it’s the use of negative framing of another person’s physical attributes or demeanor, constructed in the hope the receiver of the “negging” has low enough self-esteem to agree with the assessment and will assume the asshole is a person of higher intrinsic worth.

There might be more to it, but I usually just think of it as a form of reverse psychology + emotional abuse.

you're supposed to subtletly say or imply negative worth to the other person to manipulate them into wanting to please or be praised by you, it's very gross.

Also, "thank the flying spaghetti monster" is more like it.

Christ alive, y'all are some enlightened individuals. *tips fedora*

I'd throw in a Hail Satan for good measure tbh

Red flag? "This is going to sound bad but I need to cancel, sorry" is way more than you'll get dating, 90% of the time. IG they could've told them sooner, but I also don't know how serious things are. It looks like a perfectly adult response.

Regardless, saying "Thank God" when you were just confirming a date with someone feels like a knee-jerk reaction to save face and insult the person you feel ditched you.

oof, that sucks.

Vaguely related story: Back in the Olden Times before ubiquitous wifi and data plans, I had a friend cancel on me after I'd already gotten in the light rail to meet him an hour away. He didn't call or text, just emailed, so I looked for him for almost an hour before giving up.

Turns out he'd emailed me then was at the hospital with a friend who'd gone into labor, and didn't have his phone with him (so didn't get my calls or texts).

My partner (who'd come with to meet my high school friend) and I had a good time in DC anyway. We went to a geeky bookstore and a nice cafe.

Most of the time it's not like they are meeting other people. The commitments are like family visits every other week, traveling, studying, fixing something at home and so on. Occasionally it's some birthday party or something. It's mostly that everyone is busy all the time. Which I do understand but it takes a lot of of effort to organize something.

You mean doodle? It still exists but since polls are literally built into every messaging app now, its obsolete. It could be relevant if you have a one-time meeting with people who dont know each other and dont have a common messaging app.

If you're German (or not), use https://nuudel.digitalcourage.de/ instead.

Don't remember the name but I used it couple of times in corpo settings. I think it weird that we have to organize meetings with couple of friends the same way we organized team buildings. I mean, weekends are for resting. Why everyone has everything booked months in advance? I spend every weekend actively but I don't have a lot of plans that I can't drop to meet someone.

Yea I'm going to clarify my comment: of course, cancelling for this reason is a dick move.

But I stand by that: being honest about being a dick is better than making up excuses.

(t)heyyy

That doesn't make a lot of sense. The T could only be there when the S is also there. I think what you're going for would look more like

(s/t)he(y)

Or maybe

(s)(t)he(y)

Of cringe, checks out

or were commuting home, having texted as soon as they got off work

I can't find it, but there's a webcomic where stick figure guy sends a text, and then immediately throws his phone off a cliff.

My mom once blew up at me because I didn't respond to her text for 23.5 hours.

"Sorry to bother you. I thought you might give a fuck but I see I was mistaken. I won't bother you again."

She didn't call, she didn't email, she just sent a text and then exploded when I didn't respond (because I didn't see it). Anyways, she's blocked now--I don't want to make a liar out of my mother, so I won't let her bother me.

I want the credit for hanging out without actually hanging out.

Didn't mean to universalize but this is a common reaction. Part of my more charitable read

I try to be impartial, but each misstep online gets hammered on hard because apparently you need to be perfect for the imperfect themselves. Changing now would just be admitting to something i"m not so you cannot win. Shrugs I do my best and try to not let small mistakes turn into mountains.

As well I see other people posting the grey is female initially so that might have influenced me and I didn't see anyone else calling them out.