Not mine, its from the 90s and i wish to be buried with it

Oh, you need to print a form before going to the airport because of some outdated entry requirement? Sure, I will jam the paper 3 times, ask for a magenta cartridge after failing printing, even if you are printing black only, and then i will ask to sacrifice your first born when you are getting desperate to print and leave!

I'm also pretty sure that cats understand human languages and just choose to ignore us most of the time.

Every printer is a fucking snitch.

Technically, its not their fault, they were made that way and have no means of changing themselves...

But that doesn't change that they functionally are agents of evil.

... They're basically Orcs, but with even less agency.

Just read that (at least 3D) printers will become even more evil

(seriously, lol, or should I say, lmao, at whoever thought about doing this kind of shit unironically)

They were forged in the evil foundries of Hewlett-Packard

It's more the printer companies that are evil.

Printers from the 90s and early 2000s were still pretty good. They had problems with paper jams, but that's not really surprising when you're moving a physical object around like that. The models designed for office use were really sturdy and built to handle a work environment that was still mostly based around paper. So, they expected to be used heavily.

Since then, they've cheaped out on a lot of the components because printing is much less common so they're not expected to handle as much heavy work. But, more importantly, the DMCA has allowed manufacturers to load them up with DRM that refuses to use any ink that isn't sold by the printer manufacturer.

I tripped and fell a while ago. I have no idea how it happened but I'm pretty sure I heard the printer chuckle. I've been sleeping with the lights on and a balled-up sheet of paper under my pillow ever since. If it tries anything, I'm shoving that paper in its paper tray. And then I'll say something cool like "I hope you brought your guitar, cause it's time to jam!"

I have had exactly zero problems with the two Brother laser printers I’ve owned for the last 20 years.

i heard the reason the printer wastes your cyan or magenta and refuses to print without it even for black and white prints is that it has to finger print the paper so it can be traced back to you

It's not the printers themselves that are evil. They were just made this way by their overlords.

Printers know I'm just looking for an excuse to go Office Space on them, so they always start working when I show up. Same with desktops.

But get a Brother printer and you won't have issues. My 2007 model is still working fine, although the NIC died a few years ago and unfortunately doesn't have a functional driver I can find for a print server.

But I found a $650 Brother multifunction at Goodwill for $10 that looked brand new, just needed a new toner cartridge.

If you only print occasionally, do it at the library. Far better to rely on community printers that are running often to keep the ink warm.

Have a small-office level printer. Zero trouble for a decade. Previously had a succession of inkjets and had to deal with bloated software, greedy refills and restrictions on them, and flawed scanner feeds.

Never buying those things again.

As a guy that exclusively fixes printers for my 9 to 5. I can confirm this is 100% true

Your printer is a brat.

That skit has lived rent free in my head for years.

They're just proto-Daleks, everybody knows this.

PC LOAD LETTER what the fuck does that mean >:(

Castielsprostate has been using HP inkjet printers for too long. They need to get a Brother laser printer.

Printer shitposts are my favorite shitposts

I got an HP LaserJet Pro M225dw in 2015 and never had an issue with it. Prints great from windows, Linux, and handheld devices over WiFi. I bought a two pack of aftermarket toner in 2018 and again in 2021 (Arthur Imaging and LxTek brands respectively), otherwise zero maintenance or issues. I only checked on dates because this post made me curious and thought maybe a real world example could be useful to folks that might have printer trouble. If I ever need color, rarely, I just print to cvs online and go pick it up. It only cost $240 when I bought it and the toner was $17 and $28 for the two packs I bought, still have one of the second set left but I will need to put it in soon.

Maybe open source will come to the rescue: https://www.crowdsupply.com/open-tools/open-printer

Obligatory