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[–] 75 points 8 months ago (14 children)

Sorry, that’s a v1.18.345 hamster so your sacrifice won’t work as your router only accepts v1.2.829 or higher.

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  • [–] 34 points 8 months ago (5 children)

    Stupid router. v1.18.345 is the higher one. The hamster must have introduced breaking changes if they're incompatible.

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  • [–] 29 points 8 months ago (4 children)

    No, v1.2 is the higher version. The full name is "hamster gen 3 maxpro v1.2"

    v1.18 was the final version of "hamster gen 3 maxpro first edition."

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  • [–] 14 points 8 months ago (3 children)

    I was gonna say that the hamster is too new and the router can’t parse minor versions with two digits in it, but I like your answer better.

    The actual solution is to flash it with OpenWRT

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  • [–] 21 points 8 months ago (5 children)

    Hello I accidentally sacrificed Hamster Pro Max to my regular Pro router. There weren't any warnings or errors it just took its soul, and now when I turn it on the light flashes red 3 times and for a few seconds I can see the eighth circle of hell where Diviners are forced to walk backwards blinded by their own tears.

    What I want to ask is, can I extend the timer to at least a minute? This super cute witch winked at me, but when I try to ask her out all I hear are screams of the damned and then the connection goes down please help me.

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  • [–] 16 points 8 months ago (4 children)

    Fediverse threads are not a valid support inquiry channel. Please write your question in blood and burn it under the full moon to submit a support request.

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  • [–] 7 points 8 months ago (3 children)

    I can't do full moon, is there an option for lycanthropycally-challenged?

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  • [–] 8 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    For valued customers like you we have an accessible support system. Just submit your blood-written note on the 29th of February.

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago

    ugh didn't you hear about the CVE affecting v1.2.823-1.2.967 though? Those hamsters had missing input validation which could be exploited to overflow the buffer size and execute remote inputs. Your router is basically toast at that point.

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  • [–] 32 points 8 months ago (11 children)

    I dunno when it became the norm to say the WiFi's down when it's actually totally fine and unrelated to the internet connection being down.

    People at my work have said this even though they're using docks plugged with Cat 5.

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  • [–] 6 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    Non-technical people don't have any idea what a LAN is, and can't imagine any reason for WiFi to exist other than to get their device on the Internet.

    So WiFi becomes a synonym for "Internet connection", perfectly interchangeably.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago (6 children)

    Cat5? Not even Cat5e? You sure the problem isn't just that their connection is 10Mbps or worse and we sites aren't just taking a couple minutes to load?

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago (2 children)

    Yeah, e. Just didn't bother with the variance. Though, could even be Cat6 for all I know, never looked.

    Almost just said Cat but figured that may confuse people. Our engineers keeping the network purring like a kitty.

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  • [–] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    Well if they're only getting 10Mbps over Cat5 then the cable's busted, since normally they're rated for 2.5GbE.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago (1 child)

    Nope, Cat5 was nominally rated for 100 MHz, but was superseded by Cat5e for greater reliability at such speeds

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago

    The Category 5e specification improves upon the Category 5 specification by further mitigating crosstalk. The bandwidth (100 MHz) and physical construction are the same between the two, and most Cat 5 cables actually happen to meet Cat 5e specifications even though they are not certified as such.

    I did kinda mean it as a joke originally, but yeah 5/5e are the same outside of crosstalk resistance.

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  • [–] 20 points 8 months ago

    Is the Wi-Fi down, or is Internet access down? Because you're probably gonna need a gerbil instead of that hamster

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  • [–] 33 points 8 months ago* (3 children)

    You guys, WiFi isn't magic it's science so you must sacrifice a Scientist.

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  • [–] 14 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    Have you tried to turn it off and on again?

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  • [–] 8 points 8 months ago (6 children)

    Wifi being down is just a minor inconvenience for tech oriented people. Spare some lives and just contact your local geek/nerd.

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  • [–] 3 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    Or just learn how the god damned devices you use work.

    I do not understand how it became so normalized to just not bother with knowing how anything works. It's not like this is a new thing either. So many old jokes surrounding people's VCR clocks not being set.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago

    At least it's giving me job security. I'm a middle age geek that worked low level IT most of my life, thinking the younger generations would know how computers work and be able to fix small issues on their own. Hah.

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    Internet down? That's ok I have stuff on my jellyfin.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago

    I even have a plan when there are power outages. The hard drive that contains most of the media I collected over the years is external. In case of power outage I can power it with a power bank and a USB-C PD to 12v adapter.

    But this probably reads like wizardry for people that equate wifi to internet.

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  • [–] 4 points 8 months ago
    [–] 4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    You must appease the Machine Spirits.

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  • [–] 5 points 8 months ago (4 children)

    Rogers is down right now and I’m this close to grabbing the neighbor’s cat to do this.

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  • [–] 6 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    First of all, fuck Rogers with a rusty statue of a cactus, and second, fuck them again.

    I don't understand how a company that big can be that bad at uptime. I moved to Teksavvy years ago and haven't had any outages since. I refuse to do direct business with any of the big three.

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

    If you it’s your neighborhood cat, then it’s probably only cat 1 or cat 2, so it won’t be of much use to you unless you wanna play Zork on your local community college’s mainframe. That might work.

    Back in the day, the fuzzy ones had to sacrifice bandwidth for cuteness.

    Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago

    Most importantly is the timing of the bell tolls. Once before drawing the circle and placing the candles, Twice as you are placing the sacrifice, and thrice while singing praise to the tech God.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago

    Don't worry. The magic 'may' return.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago (1 child)

    My boss never gets me a hamster when I'm down.

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