I hope he shits himself violently and has a stroke and dies on camera. I want the smell of his shit to be so vile, the secret servicemen who come to his aid instantly projectile puke on his corpse after a really big lunch. I want his administration to slip on the puke and hit their heads hard. Half fataly, and the other half sent to hospices for brain damaged vegetables where they shit themselves constantly. I want the nurses that take care of these vegetables to be abusive and hose the shit off them with a cold garden hose infrequently, until they die of sepsis from shitty bed sores.

I have high hopes.

Or advertise a new hotel, like the last time the media believed he had something important to say.

This is actually most likely.

Might just be another advertisement for beans

Nah, it's no psy-op. People truly hold these beliefs. I can't blame them for it after the time they've had with Maduro, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's a belief held by the majority of Venezuelans. In Honduras, people are celebrating the Trump pardon of our narcotrafficker ex-president, saying Trump did the right thing, and cursing the current administration as if it could hold a candle to the crimes we saw during the other guy's time in power. It's unhinged, and yet it's no less true. I can at least sympathize with the Venezuelans who think like that a ton more than I can with my own countrymen, bunch of fucking idiots that they are.

Edit: the perfect English is a byproduct of living in the shadow of the empire. Any chances of financial freedom can only be achieved by working for US companies. That binds you to a race to learn and be good at English as a second language. It's probably true of any decently-sized city south of the US border. Those who don't learn English are destined to end up serving those who do end up learning English.

You'll excuse me for being skeptical.

He can address deez nuts.

Would you really put it past him to use the emergency warning system to try to force people to watch his decrepit lard ass talk? Personally I'd go chuck my phone into my car until it's over while playing Cyberpunk 2077 and watching Eva.

And the US isn't going to:

• RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES

All of the above.

Still hoping to see this:

You are lying to yourself. He has the most comprehensive medical care on the planet. He is almost certainly having his vitals monitored 24 hours a day. They kept Cheney alive without a working heart 20 years ago.

Maybe if we all think about it hard enough, we can manifest it?

There's a movie where the president (actually a decoy) fakes a stroke during a speech to Congress.

https://youtu.be/pOgf3IaWlgU?t=172

Or he will announce that the dems are now designated as a terrorist organization

Special military opperation.

Could be Canada or Greenland. Maybe all three?

We need to bring democracy to the Venezoilian people.

Someone said swapping trump for Vance is like shitting your pants and changing your shirt lol

Or he's going to talk about snakes again.

You forgot Mexico in that list, he's been testing invasion as well on the southern border

Probably not, it will be another "special operation".

What if all the stress with Epstein and everything just got to him and we truly had a joint universal Christmas gift? One can only dream.

Unfortunately though I think he'll pull a Kissinger, and the pure vile hate void inside him will keep him alive for another 15 years.

If I watched this at all, it'd just be to see if I could fill out my bingo card, here. . .

Honestly, I am hoping it really is just him whine bragging like he always does. He seems bothered that Americans don’t realize how “great” the economy is, so maybe he’s gonna try and talk about that. Anything that isn’t a declaration of war against Venezuela (or anyone else for that matter) I will be relieved by.

Don't forget shitting on Rob Reiner 🙄😵‍💫

Basically drink on "a lie" and drink yourself into a coma within a record three minutes

I'm going to go drink every time...

He says he is the "peace president". Says he has stopped some number of wars, but the number is different from last time he said it. Announces he is starting a war. Brags about getting a peace medal (from FIFA). Calls for the military to deploy inside the US. Denigrates a reporter, drink double if they are in the room. Announces he is arresting prominent Democrats. Calls antifa a terrorist organization.

Double drink if he says that Rob Reiner had TDS and deserved it.

Finish the bottle if he admits that he is implicated in the Epstein files, and resigns.

he's bringing your country into war and sending your kids to get killed.

Not caring about this asshole is why the USA is the mess it is today.

I wish I didn't have to care.