all 75 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 104 points 1 year ago (6 children)

You underestimate the murderous-ness of chickens.

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 48 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Chickens are no joke. Theyre assholes too.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    They're also tasty. I'm sure if it came down to it even a vegan wouldn't have many qualms about eating a supremely evil (but still tasty) chicken.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    When you really think about it, dragons are just wealth-hoarding chickens.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 95 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

    Something a little like this:

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • load more comments (-1 replies)
    [–] 41 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Reminder that this is a stealth mission. You're gonna want a stealthier animal than a chicken. Imagine crawling through the dark in tense silence, only to to given away by a loud BKAWK. Not even a hobbit could sneak further than Moria with that condition.

    Furthermore; The One Ring's greatest limitation is that it cannot just sprout legs and run off. Even beings of higher intelligence can be bent and manipulated to the ring's will (IE its ultimate goal of returning to Sauron). Putting the thing on an animal sounds like the best opportunity one could give an evil, tangentially sentient piece of jewelry the option to pilot the poor creature like a meat-mech directly into Sauron's clutches at the first opportunity.

    As an aside: the ring could not be worn by said animal, it would needs be lashed to it. Imagine keeping track of a chicken which is now invisible to normal people, and also lit up like a beacon to the eye of Sauron and his otherwise day-blind ring wraiths. Bad idea.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 33 points 1 year ago (11 children)

    how could it work?

    whoever carries the chicken will be tempted by the ring and will likely kill the chicken in a fit of weakness

  • source
  • hideshow 11 child comments
  • [–] 38 points 1 year ago (8 children)

    Yeah, Boromir was tempted by the ring just by proximity. Nevermind, how a person plans to make a chicken cooperate with heading into a blasted hellscape and up a volcano.

    If that's the "plan", the smarter version is to just drag it in a bag behind you.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 8 child comments
  • [–] -3 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    they could have forged the ring into a chain. not like an necklace, like using the ring as a chain link, make I'm mithril, people might still be tempted to use it, but no one could wear it.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 20 points 1 year ago

    Someone has never owned chickens. They are capable of unspeakable acts

  • source
  • [–] 18 points 1 year ago

    I have a hen that’s pretty bossy but for god sakes don’t give it to a rooster. A rooster would be king of Mordor in a hot second.

  • source
  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago

    This sounds like a clip from a LOTR × Ghostbusters crossover. They try using a trap but the One Ring upgrades the trap to catch almost any spirit or demon, including Balrogs, tempting the Ghostbusters to use it to capture Sauron, which, of course, is pure folly.

  • source
  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    They’d have eaten the chicken pretty fast.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Someone never played Zelda and it shows.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago

    Do it Canadian style, with a Cobra Chicken.

    There wouldn’t be anything else alive after that for sure.

  • source
  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago

    One fowl to rule them all

  • source
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    It's been tried. Where do you think nazgǔl come from?

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (28 children)

    Well, first of all, the ring makes you invisible

  • source
  • hideshow 28 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Why let the chicken wear it? Frodo wore the ring on a necklace most of the time, why not do the same with the chicken?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Well, that's just wearing it on a necklace with extra steps.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    The necklace obviously still had an impact on Frodo, so Sam had to carry him. The chicken takes the place of Frodo, so both Frodo and Sam can carry the chicken.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (15 children)

    I thought it just exaggerated whatever traits your race naturally has. Hobbits are sneaky -> hobbitses go invisible

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 15 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago* (14 children)

    Now that you say it, I don’t remember the book ever really getting into what effects it might have on other races. All we know is it makes hobbits invisible, and that it had no effect whatsoever on Tom Bombadil. No one else got a chance to try it on if memory serves me correctly (the elves refused, the humans weren’t allowed, and the orcs never got near enough).

    It’s been many years since I’ve read it however, so I’m happy to be corrected.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 14 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago* (10 children)

    Sauron wore it in the great battle, and he was by all accounts visible, otherwise how could Isildor cut the finger off? That would be a very lucky swing if Sauron was invisible.

    No, I think its power depends on the wearer. Frodo didn't want to be seen, so it made him invisible to everyone but Sauron, who understands its power.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 10 child comments
  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    The ring doesn't as much make you invisible as it transports you into the shadow realm. Sauron, however existed in both the real world and the shadow realm, so there was no transporting needing to happen there.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • The ring's primary power is control over the other rings, and it seems like the shadow realm is part of how that works ("...and in the darkness bind them"). I'm guessing Frodo is overwhelmed by the power of the ring and is taken to the shadow realm, whereas Sauron has more control and can stay in the real world.

    Other races may have different effects. The elves have some amount of magical ability, so maybe they can stay in the real world too. Maybe the dwarves would concoct some device to block part of the ring's power to stay in the real world. We don't know, the only examples we have are halflings and Sauron.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    It had the same effect on Bilbo and Gollum, though. The idea of its effects being dependent on race cannot be ruled out just yet.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 7 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    All three are half-lings, and all three wanted to hide the ring instead of use it to rule, so it makes sense it would have a similar impact on all three of them.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Yes, but without a control group we cannot really rule out whether this is race thing or a personality thing.

    For instance, what effect would it have had on Boromir and Aragorn? How about Gimli? It's possible it would have made both of the former stronger, for instance, and made Gimli incredibly rich, because that's what their races desired. We don't really know, do we?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I've never read anything beyond the Hobbit, but I believe the Silmarillion goes in to more detail on how the ring would affect other races should they wear it. I particularly recall someone mentioning how the ring would affect gandalf, but again this is all secondhand knowledge.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Wearing the One Ring does make others invisible because one thing it does is take you into the unseen world (where the wraiths are visible and not just cloaked) and basically most people think you'd have to have the willpower and wear the ring for long enough to drag yourself back into being seen.

  • source
  • parent
  • [+] 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)
  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    That’s a good question, but I don’t remember Bilbo having to strip naked after putting it on so he wouldn’t appear as a self-animated set of clothes floating around

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Is the ring holders poop also invisible?

    Obviously it's invisible while inside the person, but what happens if they make a little turd? Does it become visible in mid air or does it work like the clothes?

    What if they make a poo poo in the middle of a street while invisible, then walk away to a different town. What happens if the ring is then taken off?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    For the answer to that question, you need to read Interview with Sméagol: The Secret Account of the True Ringbearer and All the Things Nasty Hobbitses should Never Ever Ask, unfortunately Frodo threw that into Mount Doom along with the ring because it contained knowledge no mortal man should ever possess.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    It is my understanding that what the ring actually does is give you power related to your greatest desire.

    What this would be for a chicken is unknown to me

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Kite-Man: Hell Yeah. The Anti-Life Equation infects a chicken, and it proceeds to murder a lot of people.

    It finds a way.

  • source
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    Why else did they have four hobbits in the fellowship?

    You need a few spare mules in case you gotta put the first one down.

  • source
  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago*

    why dont they render the ring unusable by putting it on a larger metal ring

    put the larger ring on gollum as a fancy bdsm slave collar and throw the whole happy and docile sub gollum off an eagle into mount doom

    edit: how to put the ring over gollums head? idk weld it together once he wears it

  • source
  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    Sam would make an excellent chicken sandwich with this Lembas bread.

  • source
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Then the Chicken becomes an unwitting spy, and easy to steal from.

  • source