Unlimited budget? My tactical umbrella is capable of generating 5MW of electricity from cold nuclear fusion.

Serves as a shield against small calibre bullets. Is able to accurately fire sniper rounds

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Tactical hand-free design is essential.

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The top part detaches and is a drone.

Never folds the wrong way or moves unpredictably during strong winds.

I’d put the unlimited budget to work miniaturizing a drone fleet powerful enough to maintain position / reliably follow the user thru storm winds that hold a large umbrella-style cover over you.

I never use umbrellas cuz I feel like they’re annoying to carry and you still get wet, but if it just reliably kept me dry with no extra work on my part I’d be more interested.

Thermal mask against FPV drones.

And a cool sword, that'd be sick.

It's absolutely bananas that this would come up now, because I'm almost finished designing one in FreeCAD lol. Is it in the zeitgeist right now or something? Is it because the most recent No Kings had a yellow umbrella theme?

Mind you, I'm very untalented at CAD, just doing it for funsies and to learn the Assembly workbench. I will upload it to ManyFold when it's done and tested though if anyone's interested.

I'm hoping it'll be sturdy enough to survive blunt impacts, and able to slow down some weaker munitions, but it's gonna be on the heavy side. Expecting it to cost roughly $100 worth of parts. You could definitely build it WAY cheaper but I'm going all high quality.

Found OP

Its a Mary Poppins umbrella that floats you gently to the ground. And a laser shoots from the top.

Integrated fleshlight in the handle. Screen on the underside of the umbrella for videos. Bullet resistant outer shell that expands into a small tent.

It has a stash of termites inside that can be injected into wooden structures for very slow infiltration of wooden doors and structures.

It's just an RV. A regular RV. No bells or whistles. Just an RV. It has a toolbox.

Cover the entire thing in Molle

Found the middle management testing out their interview question about creativity.

It wouldn’t be the first… the KGB assassinated a guy with one at least once.Bulgarian Umbrella

Reflective inner surface that can double as a solar cooker.

Somehow rain never hits you from the side even when it's windy or your running really fast.

Kill dissidents https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulgarian_umbrella

Shield from rain

I'm gonna stuff that unlimited budget between the fabric layers of mine and take it home with me.

Pretty much everything from Johnny English

If you did it today, it wouldn't be the first. Here are some:

• The Unbreakable Umbrella is the first one I can recall hearing of. It's heavy (775g) and made of a composite material the manufacturer claims is good for hitting people.
• The Streetwise Stunbrella conceals an electroshock weapon inside an umbrella.
• Security Umbrella is another umbrella marketed as suitable for hitting people.
• "Bulgarian umbrellas" are poison pellet guns built into umbrellas, intended for murder.
• Windlass Steelcrafts sells an umbrella which conceals a rapier. There appear to be several similar products from other companies.

Snack compartment

It has a detachable canopy that can stabilize and move on its own for 5-6 seconds

A hidden button pops out saw teeth at the edges and starts the whole thing spinning. I will wade through this storm, of my own creation.

My umbrella will be super light. It will connect on my back and blocks rain whichever the direction it's coming from. Think Dr Oct but only one limb holding an umbrella.

Make it so it never rains if you have the umbrella with you.

• add a red button to fire the nukes
• take the rest of the unlimited budget for expenses.

The unbrawlah. Any violence ends when you get within a meter or so of the umbrella when open. Not bounces off like a forcefield but like a zone of safety.

I add a chatbot to it.

comes up with tactics as the name implies

It doesn't look like anything. It's an invisibility umbrella.

It also lets you walk through walls.

The umbrella from Kings Avatar.

Nukes

Anti-drone electronic warfare with anti-surveillance fabric

Like an umbrella, but for tactical deployments.

It’s a phased-array antenna providing comms. You said unlimited budget, so this umbrella comes with a LEO constellation like Starlink but without a nazi man-child.

There will be more, but they don’t come with their own constellation, they use the existing one

Pretty much this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tukQDg22o9M

• It has a reinforced body to prevent against getting inverted during storms. It can also defend against larger sized hail strikes.
• The canopy sheet is full of microscopic valve-like pores that don't let water through, but reduce upthrust.
  • On the downside, that reduces your chances to survive a drop, using this umbrella as a wind-break
• The extension spring in the shaft is powerful enough to hoist a car. There is a counter-spring that remains attached during normal operation, reducing the extension force to prevent injuries, but can be disengaged when you actually need to hoist a car.
  • you want to be careful deploying the umbrella with the counter-spring disengaged, without having it latched onto a heavy object on both sides (which you presumable want to move), or it might hurt
• The tie-wrap can be removed and used to tie-down other stuff while the umbrella is deployed
• The end tip has a wide-band microphone, used to sense incoming sonic modulation attacks, for which, the driver in the cap, then drives the whole canopy sheet in a cancelling pattern.
  • DSP in the notch

Transforms into a boat anchor

Not fold inside out

And be heavy enough that it doesn't easily blow away, but light enough you can still carry it.