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[–] 36 points 1 year ago (13 children)

OK I assume the hypothetical implies either the humans are bare handed or that the gorrilla also gets a weapon.

Though, outside of hammers and swords I don't think that really gives the Gorrila much of an advantage...

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  • [–] [S] 20 points 1 year ago (12 children)

    tbf, 100 unarmed men vs. a gorilla is probably about the same difficulty level as 20 men armed with literal sticks vs. a mammoth

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  • [–] 45 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Don't underestimate the power of a pointy stick. Whatever size advantage the beast may have, it's not going to be able to simply ignore stab wounds.

    Look at it this way, if you were naked and unarmed, and a dozen or more little imps as tall as your knee started stabbing at you from all angles with spears that can easily rupture your vital organs, how brave would you be to charge at them and try to kill them all with your bare hands?

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (9 children)

    Strong disagree. The sheer maneuverability advantage a gorilla has (over a mammoth) makes it considerably harder for unarmed fighters. A reach weapon that you can poke at the mammoth's ass, forcing it to run and exert itself on defense. I don't think the mammoth is killing as many humans as the gorilla, or even a proportional amount.

    My only source for fighting animals is my experience fending off a wild dog. But tell me I'm wrong, I want to hear why so I can counterpoint.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Disclaimer: I've never fought a gorilla, or obviously a mammoth.

    I'd believe it if someone told me a grown human could survive a glancing blow from a gorilla. If he has his focus on you then yeah you're fucked, but if he's surrounded by 30 guys with 70 more waiting to reinforce, his attention is probably going to be a bit scattered.

    If you get hit by anything on a mammoth, either kicked or tusked, by sheer difference of mass I expect you're out of that fight. One good trampling tantrum might take out 20 guys who are trying to be in melee range. Mammoth is going to burn through the reinforcements a lot faster I think.

    If we're allowed to throw the spears though this might change the entire fight, for both fights.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Also, looking into it, I can't find any videos of an elephant kicking behind itself. I'm not sure that it has any way of defending its backside. I assume mammoths are similar.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago*

    I don't understand why it would change the unarmed gorilla fight? But yes I would assume throwing the spears is almost certainly the most common tactic tbh.

    Edit: but also we are talking about spears. If attacking from behind, at spear range, I don't think a mammoth has opportunity for a trample attack. They would certainly need to swing around and attack with their tusks, giving attackers ample time to back up.

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  • [+] 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    You're arguing with me about something I don't believe in.

    100 unarmed men body a gorilla.

    I'm saying I think a gorilla could kill a higher number of unarmed humans than a mammoth could kill of armed humans.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    People seem to have this vision of gorillas as raging murder beasts, but nothing could be further from the truth. Frankly, I don't think a gorilla definitively wins even 10 on 1. 100 on 1, the poor gorilla doesn't stand a chance.

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  • [–] 34 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    I always assumed the 100 men vs gorilla question was meant with no weapons.

    If you give the 100 men weapons, the gorilla is dead real fast. Making and using weapons is what put us at the top of the food chain.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Although, Emu Wars showed us that it's not this obvious

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

    Well d’uh, it was twenty-fucking-thousand emus spread over a fairly large area and just two guys in a truck with a machine gun.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    And, of course, losing the Emu war doesn't mean the same as losing an actual war. The emus didn't kill a single human. The "war" was "lost" because the humans got bored and stopped killing emus en masse.

    It's kinda like "losing" the war on "dandelions" in the backyard.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Was it bored or did the whole affair just prove futile, especially with the lack of resources?

    Also dandelions are sick, I don’t know why people see a bunch of yellow and go “hey, you’re ruining my bland monoculture!”

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  • [–] 45 points 1 year ago (32 children)

    Am I vastly underestimating the gorilla here? 100 men? We're swarming that dude like ants. His eyes are getting poked out in the first 30 seconds.

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  • [–] 36 points 1 year ago (13 children)

    We’re swarming that dude like ants.

    Are we? Or are we standing awkwardly in a circle, waiting for some other dumbass to make the first move, because the first guy to make a move is not gonna have a fun time.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    Well the gorilla will make the first move in that case, and if you don't make the move while it is busy mauling the unlucky first, you could be next.

    Oh who am I kiding? With how involved most people are in politics, they would not make a move until it is too late.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    Assuming it's a small arena battle to the death, yes. Do or Die.

    If it was a open world battle then the 100 people would just take turns harassing the gorilla until it dies of exhaustion. That wouldn't be a fair fight at all. Gorilla might get a handful of people but he's just exhausting myself more.

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  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    If not fighting is an option, I guess the men will stand in a crowd making noise and the gorilla will just chill in his corner. I suppose you have to assume that all parties are 100% committed to violence

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    locked in a room, after the first day of real hunger that gorilla starts to maybe look like a good idea

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    Now there's an interesting scenario. In the short term, you might have better luck trying to eat your fellow humans, rather than confronting the gorilla. Which seems like an analogy for how certain types of government stay in power...

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I mean, is this just an impromptu gorilla fight, or do we get to plan?

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

    People who want to fistfight a gorilla aren't probably too big on planning.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    With a bit of organization? Some guys distract it, others hit its head from behind!With a bit of luck we could start raping it after like 30 secs!

    I am not saying we should, that would be disgusting! I am saying we could

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  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    One of the things that sets the human animal apart is throwing things. That poor gorilla is getting pelted with a million rocks. RIP hambre sr.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Unless handicapped, any human child can throw a ball, catch a ball, throw a stick strait. No other animal even comes close.

    And here I am feeling sorry for myself because I can't throw a cast net properly. :(

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  • [+] -8 points 1 year ago (12 children)
  • [+] 5 points 1 year ago (8 children)
  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    Lol, in this scenario the majority of the injuries/deaths would be from the stampede of people running away from the gorilla after seeing it disembowel someone.

    This is like someone saying why don't groups of people always just rush someone with an ar-15?

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  • [+] 1 point 1 year ago* (6 children)
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    No, this is a planned fight to the death. Only an idiot assumes only pansies are signing up for it.

    How many people do you think actually have experiences with a "fight to the death", and how many people insane enough to sign up for this would just be people overestimating their own skills and bravery?

    gorilla is equally informed and willing about the situation, the gorilla looses.

    My guy.... it's a gorilla. A gorilla cannot be as equally informed and willing as a person. What are you going to do, make it sign a contract?

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  • [+] -1 points 1 year ago (3 children)
  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    A gorilla is one of the more peaceful apes. More peaceful than humans.

    Unless provoked...... Not many people are stupid enough to provoke a male silverback.

    uninformed gorilla would perform worse, so thanks for inadvertently proving my point while continuing to misunderstand it.

    Uninformed? How exactly are a hundred people going to pull off a sneak attack on a gorilla?

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  • [+] 0 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • Lol, I'm not stating that 100 humans do not process the endurance to kill a gorilla. I'm stating that a hundred strangers would panic and injure each other in the attempt to not be the next person rag dolled across the floor.

    Everyone is tough until they watch someone get their face bitten off......

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    [–] [S] 12 points 1 year ago
    [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    Yo that's from the movie Ice Age

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  • [–] 23 points 1 year ago (47 children)

    ...with weapons? Of course.

    Unarmed? Fuck, no.

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  • [–] 31 points 1 year ago (24 children)

    Unarmed? Absolutely. Humans are uniquely capable harassers. A gorilla would get winded after a short while and overheat not long after. The question isn’t whether the humans win, the question is how many people will die before the people start getting free shots at a barely conscious horizontal ape.

    Unless the gorilla is windmill arming and people are just walking into the grinder, it’s always a win.

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  • [–] -4 points 1 year ago (19 children)

    Really? And what exactly is a human naturally equipped with, that can do any kind of damage to a gorilla? Lol!

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I don’t mean to be crass, but how does a hyena begin eating an antelope?

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  • [+] -9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Lol! Are you suggesting that a human could do actual damage to a gorilla...by biting it?

    A hyena has long, sharp teeth and a bite strength that can crush bone. Humans regularly break their teeth eating candy.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Fingers, arms and teeth?

    Assuming the gorilla was successfully exhausted, you can continuously rip fur from it. Or you can bite it - human teeth and our jaw muscle are strong enough to go reasonably deep. That takes a lot of time though.

    Or, provided you are able to coordinate properly, 10 people can hold down the exhausted gorilla which would allow the remaining people to strangle it by sitting on his neck or something. The jaw could probably be held shut by a single person since jaw muscles suck at opening the jaw.

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  • [+] -9 points 1 year ago

    All we would do, is break our hands, feet and teeth trying to do any kind of damage. Meanwhile, a gorilla can crush your skull with a single swat, or break your femur by simply squeezing and twisting its wrist. It wouldn't even require enough energy to eventually get exhausted.

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  • [–] -3 points 1 year ago (10 children)

    No one is saying that you're just chucking a Gorilla and a Human/group of humans into a ring.

    if the human/humans know that they will be fighting a Gorilla then they can fashion weapons and strategies.

    A single human could easily kill a gorilla if they could choose the time and place of the engagement.

    It's how we became the dominant species on the planet

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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    The premise is and has always been 100 unarmed humans (I think men, specifically).

    That is exactly what everyone has been saying the whole time. 100 unarmed humans in a ring with 1 gorilla.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    I've not heard unarmed being specified. but that's not how humans fight.

    You could start unarmed and then improvise a weapon

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago* (3 children)

    Right, I don't know how you missed it, it's been unarmed the whole time. It's built into the premise of the original viral post.

    It's a hypothetical. What you're saying right now doesn't matter. The hypothetical premise has always been "unarmed". Look it up lol.

    Edit: i looked it up and cannot find the "original hypothetical premise" I claimed existed, so, fuck me.

    That being said.. yeah. One man with a weapon bodies a gorilla. People are so fucking stupid.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago (18 children)

    100 men can't take on one Gorilla? It'd only take a few to strategize and chase it to exhaustion.

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  • [+] -7 points 1 year ago (17 children)

    And then what? Slap it to death? Tell it unbearable jokes until it kills itself? Even exhausted, a gorilla could kill you with a casual backhand. What could you do, in return?

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    Don't let it rest or sleep until it collapses from exhaustion. Humans have been persistence hunters for a long time. With 100 men that becomes a job of taking shifts shouting and running around. Early on the gorilla may catch some of the men, as it tires it becomes less effective. If the humans are allowed to pick up sticks, stones or even mud, the job becomes easier and safer. Once the gorilla passes out you can either declare the fight won, or move onto the grizzly business of killing it either by strangulation or wounding.

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  • [–] -2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    How would you even do that? What possible action could you take against a gorilla, that would lead to its exhaustion? Even if it fell asleep, and ten people jumped on it all at once (because there wouldn't be enough room for all 100 to approach)...it would wake up just long enough to kill them all, before rolling over again, and going back to sleep.

    Or it could just sit and wait patiently, for the humans to do nothing. Stalemate.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    There's one gorilla and 100 men. With 30 men per shift you have enough people to harrass the gorilla with loud noises, feints and just being a potential threat. Don't let it eat, drink or sleep for a few days and it'll likely drop from dehydration if nothing else. Even if it gets water, the average western lowland gorilla needs to eat around 20kg of vegetation per day. I suppose it would depend on where this confrontation took place, but it should be possible to distract it and prevent it eating for some time.

    If the contestants, gorilla and human alike, are allowed to pick up and use things in the environment, then it really is game over for the gorilla as it runs from a hail of sticks, stones, mud and anything else the humans can lay their hands on.

    A gorilla has a fearsome turn of speed over short distances, but, from what I can find out, even if they slow down close to human walking speed it can only go a few miles before needing to rest. If the humans are allowed use their environment to harrass the gorilla they can kerp it moving long past the point it would choose to stop, and they'll eventually wear it down to the point it can't defend itself.

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  • [–] -3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I can see how making noise might keep it awake, but how will you stop it from eating and drinking? It can basically ignore you, no matter how many people are with you, and just go about its business as if you weren't even there. If you try to physically prevent it from doing anything, you are automatically going to be within striking distance...which means instant death to anyone who tries.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Stopping it eating or drinking would involve being a constant low grade threat that it has to spend time and energy monitoring. Gorillas normally live in groups which means that while one is on lookout duty the others can feed in peace. A single gorilla being constantly harassed by what is comparatively huge group of humans would find itself in a constant state of fight-or-flight.

    If the humans were ineffective at stopping it drinking in particular, or finding hydrating food, the contest could end up going on for a very long time.

    Obviously, a lot depends on the exact rules and location of the encounter. If it's in the gorilla's prefered forests and the humans can't use the environment, it'll be a stalemate. If it's somewhere enclosed, so the humans can't escape, the gorilla wins. If it's somewhere reasonably open, with less food, the humans could wear the gorilla down. If both sides can use the environment it swings it further towards the humans by overwhealming numbers throwing things.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (8 children)

    If it can kill you backhanded it's not exhausted enough. I don't think you're thinking savagely enough.

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  • [–] -1 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    What would you even do, to make it exhausted? In the wild, gorillas are not afraid of people. They just sit there looking at you, until you get on their nerves. There's nothing you or a hundred people could do to tire it out, if it simply chooses not to move.

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  • [+] 3 points 1 year ago* (4 children)
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (3 children)

    I'm a father, with plenty of experience around small children. What's exhausting, is the effort you put into not losing your patience when they're being annoying. If I didn't give a shit what happened to them, I wouldn't have lost a minute's worth of sleep.

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  • [+] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)
  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Like I said, if I wasn't concerned about hurting them...then there wouldn't be 100 of them for very long. It wouldn't take a lot of effort to mow through them, as soon as they got within reach. It's not like they pose much threat to a full-grown adult. The worst that you'd get are some scratches.

    It would be no different for a gorilla against people. We don't stand a chance. We're just physically incapable of doing much damage, without weapons.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Humans literally evolved to use tools, it’s like asking a tiger to hunt without using their claws. Taking tools away from humans is not making them equal to the animal they are hunting, it’s handicapping them.

    If you want to make them equal then the fight is 1 v 1 and the human has tools.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Gorillas are apes, just like us. They didn't evolve to use claws or fangs...or tools. Just sheer, brute strength. We cannot compete with that, any more than we can against a tiger.

    Which is why I said what I said...weapons? Yes. Unarmed? No.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    That one guy comes back walking funny "I thought you said beat OFF!"

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