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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] notabot@piefed.social 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

There's one gorilla and 100 men. With 30 men per shift you have enough people to harrass the gorilla with loud noises, feints and just being a potential threat. Don't let it eat, drink or sleep for a few days and it'll likely drop from dehydration if nothing else. Even if it gets water, the average western lowland gorilla needs to eat around 20kg of vegetation per day. I suppose it would depend on where this confrontation took place, but it should be possible to distract it and prevent it eating for some time.

If the contestants, gorilla and human alike, are allowed to pick up and use things in the environment, then it really is game over for the gorilla as it runs from a hail of sticks, stones, mud and anything else the humans can lay their hands on.

A gorilla has a fearsome turn of speed over short distances, but, from what I can find out, even if they slow down close to human walking speed it can only go a few miles before needing to rest. If the humans are allowed use their environment to harrass the gorilla they can kerp it moving long past the point it would choose to stop, and they'll eventually wear it down to the point it can't defend itself.

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[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca -3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I can see how making noise might keep it awake, but how will you stop it from eating and drinking? It can basically ignore you, no matter how many people are with you, and just go about its business as if you weren't even there. If you try to physically prevent it from doing anything, you are automatically going to be within striking distance...which means instant death to anyone who tries.

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[–] notabot@piefed.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

Stopping it eating or drinking would involve being a constant low grade threat that it has to spend time and energy monitoring. Gorillas normally live in groups which means that while one is on lookout duty the others can feed in peace. A single gorilla being constantly harassed by what is comparatively huge group of humans would find itself in a constant state of fight-or-flight.

If the humans were ineffective at stopping it drinking in particular, or finding hydrating food, the contest could end up going on for a very long time.

Obviously, a lot depends on the exact rules and location of the encounter. If it's in the gorilla's prefered forests and the humans can't use the environment, it'll be a stalemate. If it's somewhere enclosed, so the humans can't escape, the gorilla wins. If it's somewhere reasonably open, with less food, the humans could wear the gorilla down. If both sides can use the environment it swings it further towards the humans by overwhealming numbers throwing things.