I know this is a shitpost but I’ve noticed something lately and I just want to share it somewhere. I’m a middle-aged white woman for context, and I’m not much of a drinker in the first place but also lately I’ve gotten headaches from wine so I’m not into it. Meanwhile, the ladies I know who do like wine? Like they really like wine. Anytime there is an opportunity for wine, they’re excited. And they find ways to include wine in occasions it normally would not be available. It’s such a fucking stereotype and yet, and yet, good god do they live up to it!

Big mug?

Or you could just drink mulled wine. It will steam properly

*You're

Frank, your entire mouth is stained red

Add a small amount of dry ice, still looks like coffee to everyone else, looks extra witchy for you.

I've done that in Zoom meetings with beer in a thermos.

Might become curious when you've been blowing on that same coffee for thirty minutes.

Way ahead of you. I always put in hot mulled wine.

But it's the mug big enough for a mega-pint?

Fill the mug with Glühwein!

Glühwein checks out.

Ever had a warm old fashioned? You should. You can even put it in a clear mug and say it's apple cider. Stir with a cinnamon stick for extra stealth/flavor.

"Wow that's a big mug!!"

"I know right? It's so big I can drink all day without having to refill!!! In fact, I drink so much that now just fall asleep when I drink a lot!!!"

i just pour the lemon drop martini in a clear glass andpretend its lemonade.

How do I get away with hitting the pookie though

Jamesons.

FTFY

It sure isn't Christmas everyday without my Mug O' Wine in hand

Or, work for a small business where the boss drinks in the car on the way to the airport.

True story.