500 per second? Weak!

while true; do echo "Our Father"; done

Ah, but if AI have souls, then this is slavery and you're going straight to hell for it.

The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe

Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City

-- Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - Douglas Adams

Yes, dicastery, this heretic here.

I remember reading short story by a Polish author (most probably in Fenix magazine which was published only until 2001) in which Polish scientist managed to build some new sort of computers that were connected to the spiritual realm. The main character was working in some sort of emergency service tasked with preventing the rapture. He had a special device that would automatically pray the rosary for him.

They also had a computer that was able to answer any question and was supposed to be infallible but when asked "are you God?" he would answer "yes" so everyone thought it wasn't working correctly.

Ahead of his time...

Paperclips? In this AI apocalypse? Get real

A zen sangha already ordained a chatbot, so I think that means that mantras will also work.

Medicine Buddha mantra x 900 per second = GigaChad meme level of health in about 45 minutes.

https://www.oglaf.com/sponsor/

Robo-indulgences, sweet.

That's the premise for land of the lustrous.... Spoilers, sorry

For a second there I thought this was a 40k meme, but no one needs 75 intercessors.