I think we can be pretty sure that he was no T-Rex though. I've never seen someone try, but I'm confident that you can't crucify them with their short arms.

You didn’t have to say “grown ass donkey” you could have just said “grown ass.”

He could walk on water, does that give a lower limit on mass?

In the book of Matthew, it says he rode two donkeys.

Matthew and Luke copy a lot of stuff from Mark, which was written first. The donkey story is there to fulfill prophesy. It was prophesied that the messiah would ride a donkey into Jerusalem. It also said he would be a king and vanquish their enemies and rule in peace and prosperity, but the New Testament authors figured riding a donkey was close enough.

So Matthew geta to the donkey story and reads the original prophesy. It says "Behold, your king is coming to you, humble, and mounted on a donkey, and on a colt, the foal of a donkey."

This is a poetic way of writing about a single donkey, like saying "he drove a car, he drove a red car."

But Matthew, frankly, fucked up a lot of stuff that he wrote, and he doesn't know this, so he changes everything to plural to fit the prophesy.

So everybody else writes that Jesus had his disciples bring a donkey and they lay their cloaks on it and he sits on it and rides to town. Matthew has them bring two, they lay their cloaks on them and he sits on them and rides to town.

It's unclear how he rode two donkeys. Was one donkey on top of the other and Jesus on top of that? Was it jean Claude van-damme style with him doing the splits between them?

At any rate, if the donkeys spread the load he could have weighed 160kg.

By the way, these donkeys are stolen. Jesus tells his disciples that there was a house back there that had a donkey (or two), go get it (them) for me.

I'd let Jesus ride my ass

Unless they had stronger donkeys back then.

Could have been a lot of selective breeding for decreased stubbornness sacrificing load capacity as a tradeoff during the last two thousand years.

They could theoretically have been capable of hauling 500lb behemoths without breaking a sweat but unwilling to follow any comnands 🤷🏻

Btw grown ass donkey 😁

So what are his density extremes based on this? (I am too lazy and hungry to do that calculation right now. Besides, just because I know he was "smaller than a temple" does not mean I know the likely size of that temple to get a true volume bound...)

That is on average I presume?

Maybe the donkey was on steroids.

That's just his SSJ form though

nothing in there about clothes, hmmmmm

Yeah but that's Revelation. So it's like when Gandalf comes back as Gandalf the White. It doesn't mean his hair was always white.

a lot of this description is fire related, maybe they just caught Jesus at a bad time?

And a sharp tongue, which isn't usually a physical description.

I think Jesus was a Witcher.

Did he yell kamehameha?

White hair, "blazing" eyes, a shining bright face... did Jesus have albinism (with sunburned feet)?

Depends on the size of the table, I guess 🤷🏻

half a dinner table, i saw the painting

IIRC they would just build the crosses based on the armspan/height of the person they were gonna crucify

*denarius

drachma is the greek one

Isaiah did him wrong smh

We can also deduce that he is larger than a newt

Well, Mary Magdalene washed his feet, so we know he had a pair of them. But she didn't trim his beard, or shave him so that stays undetermined, yeah.

So John the Baptiste was a nazarite and they don’t cut their hair or trim their beard. Jesus takes over John’s mission, and there no lines from Jesus explaining why his hair is trimmed or excusing hair or anything. I know it’s popular to note there’s no reason to think Jesus was a nazarite but fundamentally I think we can conclude he likely was.

jesus is an anteater