I wish I didn't know developers who would look at this and go "What's the joke? Sounds like a good idea."

Needs 2x 10GbE ports to download bloated React apps directly into its onboard cache. Otherwise perfect.

I love the idea that somebody at NIST is in charge of collating a Standard Minions Meme Collection.

I want that thing to never do a captcha again, please

As someone who loves expansion slots and hates how GPUs and SSDs keep taking them away, I'd legit want one of these if they were real. Hell, I'm still mourning the death of the physics card.

(Edit: No I didn't mean PhysX. They were a brand at one point, not the tech. PhysX invented the physics card, and were the only ones to produce them because nVidia bought out the tech before it could be mass produced.)

I know this is a joke - but there totally is hardware acceleration for some of this stuff in modern processors. There definitely is for JS, JSON and generally string stuff. It's not even x86 only, ARM got these kinds of things as well (although likely less of it)

Ok but how bad does it get when the 256MB emoji cache is full? Cause that's not enough space for all my emoji.

I just learned about WebXR so yesterday I set up a new Angular project to build a VR game in (it's Angular because I couldn't figure out how to use the a-frame libraries custom html tags in React/JSX).

Using Javascript for calculating how 3d objects interact doesn't feel too bad, but there is something uniquely cursed about defining those objects in plain ol HTML.

I absolutely lost it at "dual garbage collectors"

Damn do you need 64gb of sweet DDR5 to run this

This is brilliant.

This quantum leap could be just the breakthrough Firefox needed to set event coordinates during HTML 5 mouse drag events.

https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id=505521

Just install another ram bank of 64gb, that'll do