So they'd need to figure out the range and adjust the rope?

I don't see it as an "aura", more as an almost sentient being, that is capable of subtly pulling at people's desires - Tolkien writes that Sauron transferred his will to dominate and his malice into the ring, along with most of his power, so it makes sense to me that it would be capable of playing an active role in corrupting people, not just as some "blanket AoE curse".

For Boromir the ring acted as a psychological amplification of his own noble but desperate intentions. The Ring didnt create evil feelings out of nothing; instead, it acted as a corrupting mirror for his existing burdens.

It briefly did the same to Gandalf and Galadriel, but thankfully both were able to resist its pull - maybe carrying a ring of power themselves helped them...

fucky in the head.

Pipin..let's go, smokes

...btw, what's the radius of AOE for this ring? We talkin' maybe some of the faster fish in Golem's nook might've gotten away and become a giant squid monster in a pond outside of a magic door? Or just a radiated warmth for anti-Maiar such as Balrogs?

A goose, maybe.

The ring would attract all types to it. Not to mention, Gollum will have a much easier time robbing a chicken than a Hobbit and it isn't like this hyopthetical somehow solves the Gollum problem.

I mean The Ring chilled with Gollum for a long time. To The Ring I'm sure a chicken and Gollum were about an equal level of weakness. It's also said that The Ring abandoned Gollum, as in it made a choice.

Although it didn't seem to be in much of a hurry, since The Ring stayed with Bilbo for a while.

He also got stabbed by the Witch King, which I’m sure had an effect bonus on the ring’s influence over him.

Just to expand on what you've written, the ring takes over those who wish for power. It can be power for good too, such as with Gandalf.
Hobbits care for none of that. They want to drink, smoke and tend to their garden. That's why the ring struggled to take power over Frodo.

Or played Heretic or a few other games.

It would also have been tempting everyone around it, like it did Boromir.

Having chased the chickens in Zelda OoT, I could imagine this quest going quite poorly.

Ok, evil snail it is.

An answer that took 3 entire epochs, and major world wars to come into play?

Melkor was such a dick.

Parts of the story don't make sense though. They didn't have the sun for a long time. Melkor built them like a palace out of ice that later melted, shit like that.

Without the ring!