[–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

Creates faraday cage made of pumice from Mt. Doom

Harnesses power of the one ring using a series of severed fingers connected to a palantir via two blue wizards tied up in my basement.

Uses surveillance footage to release "The Burning of The Shire"

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago

    fucky in the head.

    Pipin..let's go, smokes

    ...btw, what's the radius of AOE for this ring? We talkin' maybe some of the faster fish in Golem's nook might've gotten away and become a giant squid monster in a pond outside of a magic door? Or just a radiated warmth for anti-Maiar such as Balrogs?

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  • [–] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    Today I Learned: A vanilla bean is called a pod & takes the same amount of time as a not late baby to be born. Apparently, you can leave these pod babies hangin' around for a bit, eventually (3 years, but probably longer for Xtra taste) you get a bit o' flavour that is very vivacious.

    This is how human babies are made.

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  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago

    Trump is speed-running WWIII?

    I find it ridiculous that a silly spray tanned dummy puppet will be remembered throughout history as the catalyst that spurned the true beginning of the end of modern society & civilization, regardless of who pulls the strings; it's falling on that dude right now.

    The next (or possibly last) chapter will be based on how well we learn our lesson after this.

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    "If my wings will not lift me, I'll find something that does," thought Opus. He heard a man screaming on TV everyone should own called Flap-O-Matic. Opus quickly ordered one. When it arrived, he put it together and hoped everything was right, since the instructions were in a different language. Opus carried it up to Vulture Gorge, strapped it on, and wound up the rubber band. Stepping on the edge, Opus looked down to the bottom three miles below. "Yow," he gulped. He sighed, walked back home, and spent the rest of the day cooking anchovy Christmas cookies, which wasn't nearly as dangerous.

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