all 67 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 73 points 1 month ago

Two glasses of chocolate milk at the same time

  • source
  • [–] 36 points 1 month ago (5 children)

    And the third wish: Hoping the tummy ache goes away fast because you just drank way too much choccy mjölk

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Damn lactose intolerance

    Worth it though for the tjøccy mjölk

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 32 points 1 month ago

    1 man 2 cups

  • source
  • [–] 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Fun story...

    Back in the late 90s, several friends and I were doing the extreme Frisbee thing. An hour or so of just running around like the idiots we were, full tilt.

    We stop and hit up the gas station at the corner. Most of us pick up things like Gatorade or soda etc... Not Dave.

    This legend grabs 2 fucking jugs, about a gallon in total between them, of full fat chocolate milk.

    We get to the check out, pay for the batch. Most of us start drinking right there because we're absurdly thirsty.

    Dave pounds down both jugs immediately... Not even stopping for breath.

    You likely see this coming.... We all did. Slow motion car crash...

    Up it comes without delay. Just 1/2/3...

    Chocolate milk

    Chocolate milk

    ..... Chocolate milk.

    The attendant for the shop got a $150 tip that day.

    Dave was the best.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago

    I had a coworker named Frank. Frank was not the smartest guy. He wasn't even the biggest guy. But Frank could EAT. He took a first date to a pizza place once and split an 18" pizza. The date had a slice. Frank ate the rest.

    Around 2007 or so, there was this milk challenge thing floating around where people online were trying to drink a gallon of milk. All of them inevitably failed, because that is a shit load of milk. However, Frank was convinced that he could do it. So much so that he was willing to put money on it. We had a conversation like this.

    Me: Frank, no way can you drink a gallon of milk. It's too much.

    Frank: Absolutely I can. Wait. Can it be chocolate milk?

    Me: Sure, Frank. Normal. Chocolate. Doesn't matter.

    Frank: Oh then absolutely I can.

    As dumb as Frank was though, he was actually smart...ish on this one. Before doing it at work with money on the line, he wanted to do it at home first. So he went home that night and tried it.

    Next day, Frank surprisingly wasn't at work. He had called in sick. When he finally came back, I asked him how his attempt went. Frank didn't want to talk about it.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 15 points 1 month ago* (1 child)

    Can confirm, though 'tis the season to start temporarily substituting eggnog for the choccy milk.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 12 points 1 month ago
    [–] 9 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Patently untrue.

    We desire to drink directly from the jug.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 9 points 1 month ago

    aw gosh I never realized I could fantasize about a second one 🫠

  • source
  • [–] 8 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Milk is for baby cows. Real men drink chocolate beer.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago* (2 children)

    Heck imagine three glasses of chocolate milk

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago

    Yes, and I do so lol But now I'm of the age where the second fantasy has to stay a fantasy or my fantasy of still fitting into my pants will be what remains a fantasy...

  • source
  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago

    I’m definitely known to dabble in some chocolate milk

  • source
  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago

    Nope, there's a third.

    Third glass of chocolate milk.

  • source
  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
  • Not me, but I could reasonably qualify as not a man.

  • source
  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I'm not lactose intolerant, but after 2 glasses my stomach is like, calm down their buddy. I'd down a whole gallon if I could.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago

    I really wouldn't be so sure that you're not lactose-intolerant.
    Something to be aware of is that it's not a disease, it's actually the default for an adult mammal to lose the ability to digest lactose, because evolution doesn't expect us to continue drinking boob juice forever.

    It's mostly just Northern Europe that doesn't typically have it + of course, the regions that got colonized from there: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactose_intolerance#Epidemiology

    If you can find some pre-mixed chocolate oat milk somewhere, I can recommend trying that. For, uh, science reasons, I happen to know that I can consume a liter of it at once.

    At that point, some parts of my body do want me to calm down, just because it's a huge amount of liquid to consume in one go.
    So, maybe you're hitting the same after just two glasses, but your description also seriously just sounds like a light lactose-intolerance to me.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago

    moth does not like the taste of milk. or the idea of it either.

  • source
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    My kink is mixing in some vanilla extract.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Thank you for not putting ice in it like advertisements often do.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago

    i prefer stawberry milk

  • source
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago (3 children)

    I buy a gallon of whole milk and when it is about half gone I'll buy a half gallon of chocolate milk and pour that into the gallon container. I MADE a gallon of chocolate milk.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago (2 children)
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago
    [–] 3 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Y'all ever buy that pre-mixed stuff at the store? Holy shit.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago

    The pair thing makes sense.

  • source
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago

    Lactose intolerance wrote this.

  • source
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago
    [–] 3 points 1 month ago

    I have been having high protein chocolate milk and I can answer... Yes.

  • source
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago

    Damn straight.

  • source
  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Not always true. Give me regular milk or give me water. Never had any interest in chocolate milk.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago

    If have two hands then why not 2 milk

  • source
  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    I’m going to get some chocolate milk now

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago
    [–] 2 points 1 month ago (4 children)
  • [–] [S] 1 point 1 month ago (3 children)
  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago (1 child)
  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago (2 children)

    The classic "would you rather" question: for the rest of your life give up chocolate or cheese.

    I could never give up pizza.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments