I went to buy a steamer, because my last one finally fell apart. And I happen to mention I'll be after a toaster next, did they have the brand/model I like (it's just been tested to toast well) the salesguy says oh have you heard about the ai one, I'm getting one, they're such a saving atm, down from $600 to $400! I straight up said wtf, why. He said oh it looks at your toast while you toast it. It was so hard not to let him know he is a fucking idiot. He wasn't trying to sell me on it, he genuinely wanted to buy it for himself.

I just don’t see the utility. I can be pretty pro “smart” stuff, especially if I can run it without an internet connection, but what’s the point for a fridge?

About ten minutes ago I installed a smart bulb in my fridge. I plan to set up an automation in Home Assistant to tell me when the fridge has been open too long. I also have a temp sensor near the compressor because I had an issue with the fan going out and now if the temp is too high I get an alert to check on it.

I also have a temp sensor in the freezer and the main fridge, again to alert me when things go wrong.

My electric toothbrush has bluetooth. How much free time does someone have to track and analyze their toothbrushing?

Sticking it in a toaster reminds me of when LCD clocks first came out. They stuck them in EVERYTHING. Even table lamps had little clocks stuck in them. Then when LED lights came out everything had to have super bright led lights all over them. One to show you it was off, one to show you it was on, etc, etc. Same with everyone had to have a website in the 90s or a mobile app later. Now everything has to be connected to the internet because, well they can. There is no real reason for it except marketing.

You know those influencers who get like a few million views from building silly Rube Goldberg Machines?... That's the only thing I can think of to justify the toaster, and then it's literally just taking the place of an RC actuator.

As for the fridge, the only thing I can think of is you're one of those people who constantly forgets what they went shopping for, and need to video stream the interior of the fridge to check if you're out of something.

I have a wall oven that's a couple months old and it preheats very rapidly. Unfortunately, it seems to achieve this by just lying about what temperature it's at. It's consistently 50°F to 75°F below the set temperature, as measured by a separate oven thermometer. The manufacturer anticipated this potential problem by including a boldface section in the manual saying not to use oven thermometers because they're "wildly inaccurate". Oh the irony of an electric oven using gaslighting.

For bonus points, even when the oven reaches the set temperature (which I now set higher than what I theoretically need) it doesn't bother to maintain that temperature, so I have to frequently turn the oven off and then back on again just to cook something properly. Once again ironically, this was the reason I replaced the old oven. Fortunately it was only $2500.

I have a compressor travel fridge. I've had it for about six years. The display died this summer, so I had a hard time knowing what temperature it was set to, or if it was even on. (Crotch goblins love to press buttons that go beep).

Anywho, I got a new display circuit for it with Bluetooth. The only reason I paired my phone to it is so others can't fiddle with the settings at the local campground.

Same thing with my e-bike. I don't want someone else pairing their phone with it and locking me out.

In a perfect world, operating totally on my local network I'd love if my fridge and freezer took pictures of things as I was putting them in and taking them out to automatically maintain an inventory. If it didnt require external servers, it really could be great. Hell, even if it gave me the option of local execution it could be great.

But this is the real world and we can't gave nice things. This should never have been a failure mode at all. If the computer in these things decides to stop working, it takes fairly few things make it run like a dumb fridge. They just decided that was unacceptable, so here we are.

I have similar feelings about washers and dryers. I'd love to hook it up to my mqtt broker and get local notifications when it finishes. But there is zero reason whatsoever for it to reach the internet.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAA.

And if you really want "smart stuff", just fucking use Home Assistant or something local-first and self-hostable as it.

My (not yet installed) heat pump water heater wants to be connected to the internet. Can’t imagine why I’d want to do that. I know its for peak rate electricity management or whatever, something my town doesn't seem to do due to being mostly hydroelectric, but it has a whole button pad and screen and shit built into the side of it, I think I can manage without the app syphoning my phone data, thanks. Besides, it uses so little electric I probably won’t even bother programming that.

Having an alert go off if it gets too warm would be useful. That just needs a smart temperature sensor connected to your HA server though.

Or just get a tablet and stick it to the fridge with magnets if you want a place for your digital calendar or whatever

Leave the fucking compressor out of it

What benefits could you reap from having your fridge connected to the internet? I'm seriously asking because the thought never occurred to me, but then again, I live in a tiny apartment, I can walk like 8 steps and I'm opening the fridge door. Maybe other people have bigger houses and takes half a day to get to the thing.

Seems like a lot more work than just remembering to make a list before you leave home.

That’s the joke. Tech companies have started taking away basic functions, so they can then sell it back to you as a subscription. BMW’s heated seat subscription comes to mind. All BMWs are equipped with heated seats by default, but you can only turn the heater on if you pay a subscription for it.

I'm on solar and batteries. I haven't had an electricity bill in years.

my friend lives in rural vermont without internet access (he can get cell phone access at the base of the hill he lives on, but not much else) - and his samsung tv keeps telling him to agree to the terms and services, and the only way to do so is for it to be online. 2-3 times a day an overlay appears and prompts him to sign in to his samsung account and agree lol. he's so frustrated he wants to return the tv.

even without the network being present, enshittification is all around us

I kind of want to buy one know and start sending invoices for storage of their equipment.