Sorry for how trite and predictable this is, but even though I was pretty cynical half my life ago, I couldn't have imagined so vile and corrupt a personage occupying the White House as what is there now, nor how easily and with how much cooperation they've been able to destroy the Constitution and government that was based on it.

That everything I learned about computers from assembly language in the 80s to tinkering with all the operating systems in the world would be thrown in the trash by a bunch of moronic managers who decided that ChatGPT was better than learning and being curious.

And as a result, that I would be disgusted by what is happening with programmers, and that I would find another job that does not involve any technology whatsoever. I loved that shit, I hate what it has become.

The biggest surprise would definitely be that I'm trans, so I look completely different now than 19-years-old me might have imagined :D

I am surprised that I made it out of my 20s and 30s alive. I also didn't expect to have a job that aligns with my ethics. I am a caregiver for high functioning adults with special needs and pretty good at it.

At 21 years old, I would never have thought I'd be living in [REDACTED] with 4 kids, a GF and awell paying job I actually like.

Alternatively, 21 year old me would probably have had his mind blown if I'd shown him all the places in the world I've had the pleasure of visiting.

The level of evil that adults are capable of. My young self would never have imagined it. I used to think humans were nice to each other.

How much I've started to hate technology. It's like I had smart phones before my peers had flip phones. Same with computers; let me go to the computer graveyard room and put one together for myself. My family was very into tech so I had a computer since I was 5.

I think at this point I'm just not into it. Same with cars; I like my almost thirty year old cars.

I’m 44. The fact I’m still living. Nothing is wrong with me health wise. It’s just that past 40 is such a long time to live.

The two things I think would be most surprising to 25 year old me would be that I still skateboard regularly, and how happy I am being single, as they'd just gotten married and been told they're too old to be skating.

Mid-forties now. Mid-20s me would be surprised to know that yes, he does have major depression and doesn't have to just find a way to work around that. A lot of great things came after that, but many unnecessarily bad things in the interim. Now I'm just what I feel to be a normal amount of depressed! 😅

I still cannot belive I am married to my wife. She is amazing. She can basically solve any problem. She is a great mom. She helps me talk through my problems, she helps me make decisions, she can hold up her end of a conversation, and she is beautiful. I've always been fascinated by women in their late 30's or 40's that were still beautiful, and now I have one living in my house.

I had a dead-set career path (game design) and even went to college with this path in mind. When it all came together and I finally had the opportunity to do it, I made a sudden decision against it.

Ended up being the right choice, but I don't think my younger self would believe it.

How much of working life is emotional prostitution.

50 years old.

1. That I am as "successful" as I currently am. Measured by typical achievement of "The American Dream".
2. Why the fuck do I live on a cul-de-sac in some boring-ass suburban neighborhood with literally zero charm or culture. I should be living on the top floor of some mixed-use urban building with a subway or light rail station across the street.
3. Most importantly, younger me would be so disappointed in my Christmas lights. Where are all the Christmas lights? I have a house. I can afford plenty of Christmas lights. Why are my house and yard and trees and bushes not absolutely doused in Christmas lights. Like Clark W. Griswold levels...you see younger me, it turns out that having a house is already a lot of stupid, unnecessary work, and then putting up Christmas lights and taking them down is even more work and I'm tired.

40 now. At 20 I was a know-it-all crusader against having kids and now my two children are the absolute center of my universe.

I can't even begin to explain the kind of joy these two kids create out of thin air. It's simply beyond my ability to describe how much I love them and how grateful that I am to have met a woman I loved so much that it seemed wrong to not want to bring more of her into the world.

I am so fucking overwhelmed that my life turned out the way it has that I suffer from hidden imposter syndrome because I just don't feel like I deserve to be this happy.

All I can do is try to be a worthy father and husband.

The American experiment ending like this, with not one person standing up for it.

When I was 17 I was fresh out of high school and had no idea what I wanted to study or do. I'm 34 and have studied a myriad of shit by now but I guess what is most surprising is that I still don't know what I want to do.

I'm a woman now.

Well 15 year old me, you'll figure it out in about two years.

39. Half would be 19.5.

So, second year of college. I would be surprised about my salary vs what that's worth in today's economy. I would have been ecstatic with this back then. Would have thought I was living the dream. Inflation is a bitch.

Also, I probably would be shocked at how cool retro handhelds are now. I just got a Retroid Pocket Nova, and it can play every console I've ever had (I stopped console gaming at the PS2). And, it can run some Windows games. At 19, I was rocking a Windows Mobile 6 PDA, with a 624 MHz processor.

I'm chronically ill. I was always healthy and skinny and would totally judge fat people.

Compared to my early 20s, living in rural Japan is probably the most surprising things. As well it should as now my plan is to GTFO to a country that believes more in workers' rights, allows getting citizenship while maintaining an old one (need my US citizenship until my parents pass and Japan has no visa to move them here unless they're basically homeless), etc.

early 50's. did well in school and got a lot of education. I knew I would not necessarily be rich but technically in a meritocracy I should have done pretty well. I should note I have done better than many of the peers both my wife and I know. Most who have done better did so by making good connections. I can't believe how poorly I have had to live and that my retirement is so unsure at this age. Heck I thought the increasing retirement age would reverse itself and advancement would allow for a much more utopian society. lol. also technological miracles beyond my wildest imaginations implemented in dystopian ways beyond my wildest fears.

Probably how cool and popular I am. 17 year old me was pretty awkward and bad at socializing.

That I'm alive. Suicidal depression is a hell of a drug.

That I'm living on the other side of the world, that I not only am married, but married to a holy crap hot mom.

That I'm now also jobless due to AI

Age 50

I’m 40, half a life ago I was 8 years pre-lung transplant. I’d be shocked that I did it at all, I was very anti-transplant for various reasons but having kids I love enter my life when I was 22 changed my mind, which would also be a shocker since I was also anti kids at 20, but I’d also be shocked it worked, one of the main reasons I was against it was I was sure if I got one I would suffer even more and die anyway. So I guess at the end of the day, I’d be mostly surprised I wasn’t dead.

I was a rolling stone - drifting and drinking aimlessly through my 20s, backpacking, boozing and picking up weird jobs and weird people as I wandered through Europe and south east Asia. Now I'm an IT manager and married with 2 kids, a mortgage and a dog.

that I'm alive, i was 100% convinced in the 1980s i'd be dead by 2000, i'm now 58. and its 2026.

I honestly don't know what the fuck happened; (

26, to my 13 self would be wack. I came out at 17, married at 24, divorced at 25. Still the same kid looking for friends and a family. I would've believed my parents would be homophobic at 13 and they still are at 26. I dropped out of college, didn't marry my girlfriend. I'm a chef now, I studied hard to follow my dad into an IT career, that went no where fast.

My 13 yo self would think I'm a loser and an addict. He was very dumb and a 13 yo, lmao wtf do they know.

all the shit i can afford that i never dreamed of even having.

curse of low expectations I guess.

But I'd be super depressed that I never found a partner or had a family. Half a lifetime ago i was dating someone I thought I'd marry and have a family with... then she turned out to hate me and children. And sadly ever I met since her also hated me and children... so better off being single than being with someone who hates me.

Probably the credit card debt. And learning how long that asshole cat I got as a sophomore in college ended up living (18.5 spiteful years).

50, second marriage.

That I could love myself. That I'd be a productive member of society. That I'd be a square.

That I'm driving an electric car. In highschool this would have felt impossible after GM blew up their lead.

I'm 45 now. If you would have told me at half my age how angry and sad I am in general, I probably would've been very confused and broken hearted. I guess the time is important for the desensitization.

I'm 29. I'd be surprised I'm still alive.

When I was a depressed and extremely suicidal teenager, I decided that if nothing had improved for me by the time I was 20, then I'd kill myself then. When I set that time limit, I already had a couple of failed attempts under my belt (unbeknownst to my family), and desperately wanted to die. However, I felt guilty for the pain that would cause, which is why the attempts only happened when I reached a crisis point.

I had read suicide support guidance that advised to try and put distance between yourself and the suicidal feelings, because even just a day or two can help to stabilise the situation. Well my response was to take this logic and apply it to an extreme level, with significant spite attached. My logic was that if indeed things were just as hopeless when I was 20, I would feel justified in killing myself, and fuck anyone who would begrudge me my escape at that point. I didn't require things to be better-better by the time I was 20, I just needed something to change to show that it was still worth fighting.

Well, here I am, almost 10 years later, and I'm still alive. still struggle with suicidal ideation on a regular basis, and I suspect I will always have to keep an eye on my mental health. However, nowadays, when I get low, I don't actively want to die like I used to. Instead, it's usually a case of "I don't want to die, but I know I can't live like this".

Ironically, I think that planning my death saved my life. There were countless times over my late teens where I would've been at risk of making another attempt on my life, but instead would self soothe by counting down how much time I had left to ensure. It did mean that my early 20s were a bit confusing, as I was living a life that I had planned without ever expecting that I'd get that far. And I still sort of feel like these past 10 years have been a massive bonus level that I'm half expecting to be swept away from me at any moment, but I'm still here.

There are other things I could have replied to this question with, but nothing will trump my surprise at still being alive (and wanting to be)

At 17, I would have been ungodly shocked to know that those fainting episodes were part of something much much bigger. I'd be a little put off by how sedentary I become, but at least I'm still fighting the good fight.

I think I also would be fairly shocked to see myself as gay.

Young me would have a hell of an emotional rollercoaster to see current me for certain, lol

That being successful wouldn't make things worth it or life more bearable.

I guess I was using the wrong metric.

25 year old me would be surprised that I switched jobs a few times, got my bachelors degree and don't work as a plant operator anymore. He would be most surprised about which people are still a major part of my life, and which turned out to be not worth it.

I'm not sure 20 year old me would be very surprised. I ended up pretty much exactly where it would be expected of me: still single, living in a garage, working a dead end factory job. No possibility of ever owning a home and dwindling possibly for any kind of retirement.

How boring I am

This is interesting to think. I wouldn't be that surprised at my life. I did the stuff i wanted to, nothing crazy has happened really. I still do a lot of the same hobbies I did 20 years ago, just with more money. I would think emulation is fricken sweet as well as all the console mods that exist now.

I'd be massively depressed at the state of the world. Makes me wonder how much worse itll get in another 20 years.

Late 20's, most surprising would be the fact that i'm no better off than I was when I got out of high school.

The amount of weed I smoke. Teenage-me was still in the process of deprogramming from D.A.R.E. propaganda. She wouldn't have expected to become a full-blown stoner in her 30s.

I've always had a strong memory, and unfortunately it feeds into my anxiety and depression. Weed definitely impacts my memory, but it's a benefit - normally, all the stupid little things of the day would torture me. I'd be overanalyzing every word I said, worrying over social mistakes that nobody else even remembers happening. It's a mental process that only serves to hurt me, and that I raw-dogged sober for most of my life. Weed lets me break that cycle, change my focus, and not remember all the dumb little details that don't actually matter, but that would otherwise keep me awake at night.

As a teen, I would've struggled to understand that there could be benefits to marijuana. She would've just thought the self-torture was normal. Life's weird like that sometimes.

How badly everything has gone.

The hair loss would be news, but I wouldn't really be surprised. I knew it happens.

that I'm still exactly nowhere

My eating habits.

Nearly all details would fascinate me, but nothing would shock me.

Half a life time ago, I was 20 and the only thing different between then and now that really would surprise 20 year old me would be hearing I have ADHD, BPD, and am autistic since I wasn't diagnosed until my 30s.

Early 40s, and I have 2 young kids, I was going to be child free right up until I met my wife 5 years ago and knew if I wanted her kids were in my future. I also really enjoy being a dad.