German joke (media.piefed.zip)
submitted 2 months ago by to c/memes@sopuli.xyz
 
German joke

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[–] 162 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Another German banger I heard awhile ago:

"Ask me if I'm a schoolbus."

"Are you a schoolbus?"

"No."

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  • [–] 58 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    So German humor is anti-meme?

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  • [–] 26 points 2 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 78 points 2 months ago (7 children)

    I think this forklift training video is pretty funny

    https://youtu.be/ja7ap6AEuYU

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  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 56 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Knock knock

    Who's there?

    WE ARE ZE ONES WHO ASK ZE QVESTIONS!

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  • [–] 54 points 2 months ago (7 children)

    How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One, they are an efficient people and lack a strong sense of humor

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (2 children)

    Zero. Efficient germans use efficient LED.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    LED bulbs still exist and are more efficient to use than LED fixtures where you have to change the entire lamp instead of a bulb!

    In fact, I've got a room with six such fixtures and only one still works.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago

    The LED bulbs barely die. I am still using first gen bulbs i bought over a decade ago. I've only had 1 die on me so far. Versus the monthly replacement of some heat bulbs and always having a box of spares around.

    Changing lightbulbs is kind of a thing from the past. Old fashioned fillament heat bulbs are hardly in use in Germany nowadays.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (2 children)

    What? Do lightbulbs get stuck if you tell a joke?

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  • [–] 86 points 2 months ago

    Hey now, the Germans take humour very seriously! It's no laughing matter.

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  • [–] 35 points 2 months ago

    I’ve met many funny germans, and then 1 german guy who so perfectly fits the stereotype that I almost think its a bit in its own right.

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  • [–] 32 points 2 months ago

    German jokes are the wurst

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  • [–] 64 points 2 months ago (9 children)

    So there are actually some German wartime jokes that are actually quite funny. Here's some that I heard:

    • " Where I live there's now a lot of warehouses, there were houses and there were houses, and there were houses!"
    • "How can you tell an optimist from a pessimist? The optimist is learning English and the pessimist is learning Russian."
    • One day at the barracks there was a soldier on his knees looking around the ground, picking up random papers he found and going "no, no that's not it". His officer asked what he was doing, "I'm looking for my special paper". He sent him to the doctor and he was declared insane, when the doctor gave him his discharge papers he explained "ah, there's my special paper!"
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  • [–] 16 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    How would a German joke work based on english homonyms?

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  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    So I went and googled it out of curiosity, after remembering that German for was/were (in some form anyway) is 'war'.

    I found this in a thread about Downfall and a translated joke where someone was wondering what the original was:

    The German pun uses 'Warenhaus' department store and "Da war 'n Haus" - "there was/used to be a house".

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago* (2 children)

    Germans hate humor so much that hey renamed "The Simpsons" to "Die Simpsons!". "Die Simpsons!"!!

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  • [–] 21 points 2 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 35 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    That joke only works in German because "treffen" has two meanings: meet and hit.

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  • [–] 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Ah so kind of like "a man walks into a bar and says ouch"

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  • [–] 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    I read that as it was gay (as in happy) until they walked in.

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  • [–] 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (11 children)

    Zwei Kamele sitzen im Keller und hacken Petroleum. Sagt das eine zum anderen: "Du, morgen ist Weihnachen!". Sagt das andere: "Ich weiß, ich bin eh mit dem Fahrrad da."

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    Sitzen zwei Kamele im Keller und stricken Benzin. Kommt ein Schraubenzieher, läuft ein mal den Türrahmen hoch und wieder herunter und verschwindet wieder. Fragt das eine Kamel: "Du, hast du dat geseh'n?" Sagt das andere Kamel: "Jau, der is öfter hier."

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago* (3 children)

    Ich lerne noch Deutsch und kann den Witz zwar übersetzen aber ich verstehe er trotzdem nicht.

    Edit: Grammar

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    There is a trope of nonsensically combining statements, e.g. "at night it's colder than outside" (it's called Alogismus - is alogism a proper english word?). It's children humor, most of them find it funny somewhere between 6 and 14 yo.

    This sentence is an example of that:

    • camels don't sit in basements
    • you can't chop kerosene
    • Christmas has nothing to do with the fact that the camel traveled via bicycle
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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Diese Art von Witzen die mit skurrilen Szenarien und Dialogen gearbeitet haben waren im Deutschsprachigen Raum in den 70ern angesagt - Ein bisschen vor meiner Zeit, aber man hat ja Eltern und Verwandte, und der hat sich in meiner Kindheit in mein Hirn gebrannt.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Yeah but what does it mean!? 😂

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    It's somewhat of an antijoke. Translation would be:

    Two camels are sitting in a cellar chopping petroleum. One of them says: "Tomorrow is Christmas, you know?". The other one replies: "Yeah, I came here by bike anyways"

    The whole joke is based on subverting expectations. You don't expect camels sitting in a cellar, a liquid can't be chopped, camels can't speak (and wouldn't care about christmas either), camels don't ride bikes, and noone chooses a bike as a mode of travel especially in expectation of Christmas.

    I personally never found it that funny, but my mother was laughing as if it were the funniest thing ever said.

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  • [–] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago

    Gottseidank heißt unser Führer nicht Kräuter. Sonst hieße es den ganzen Tag Heilkräuter! Heilkräuter!

    Karl Valentin

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  • [–] 23 points 2 months ago

    German humor is no laughing matter.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 months ago

    Germany has some of the best wordplay. Puns aplenty over there.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    My suggestion is to watch the documentary laughing with Hitler to see that not only do Germans have a scathing sense of humor, but also were willing to die for their jokes.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago

    Uwe Boll movies left a lasting scar on the image of Germans...

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

    I quite enjoy Henning Wehn, especially when he appears on typically British things like (cats) Countdown or radio 4 shows like Just a Minute and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago* (2 children)

    Henning Wehn is a weird one because he's much better known outside Germany than inside. His act of "look how funny and strange Germans are" doesn't really land in Germany, maybe a lack of self-deprecating humour?

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    Dude the meme game they have is on point you'd be surprised...

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago

    The funniest german joke is Deutsche Bahn...

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    I think Germans are pretty Damm funny tbh. They’re silly

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    I’ve heard it claimed German humour differs from English humour due to the grammar of the German language making it harder to hide the punchline, and so largely eliminating a lot of wordplay. The humour that remains is either cerebral (conceptual satire and such) or lowbrow slapstick.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 months ago

    Native speaker of German here and I am not sure about that. German tends to put verbs in the end in a lot of sentences, but apart from that, it's mostly possible to use English-like word orders in German too; I don't think the difference is significant enough that it would change the entire style of humor.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago (14 children)

    German humor is usually not funny and a bit mean.

    The Dutch have compensated for their neighbors with an over-developed sense of humor.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

    i have a dutch friend whose favorite joke is:
    Person 1: knock knock
    Person 2: who's there
    Person 1: interrupting cow
    Person 2: interrupting cow who?
    Person 1: ...dammit

    mine is:
    two pretzels were walking down the street. one was assaulted. pretzel.
    (it's funnier if you tell it in a silly voice)

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    I don't get either joke TT_TT

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago

    okay so thinking about jokes and getting them can make them funnier, having someone explain them always makes them worse. see below

    the first one (edited for those unfamiliar with the format), we were trying to teach him knock knock jokes. because they are stupid. he loves the interrupting cow one, but what he loves even better is fucking up the interrupting cow one. and mine is a pun on salted pretzels but it's REALLY BAD

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago*

    German humor is fine, but much of german humor does not translate well, because it is often using puns, homophones, double entendrse or subversion of expectations, and you have to actively listen - just hearing without paying attention might result in not even realizing a joke was made. And I wouldn't say it's mean, but it is often dark and hitting where it really hurts regarding whatever goes wrong in society. I heard once that people start laughing if they can't bear the pain anymore, and a lot of german humor fits this saying well.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (7 children)
  • [–] 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago*

    I completely disagree. The people I meet in my daily life have a very healthy sense of humour, not mean at all. And in popular media? Look at Loriot, Sebastian Pufpaff, Hazel Brugger (sure, she's Swiss, but hugely popular in Germany), Anke Engelke and Bastian Pastewka, Ladykracher in general...

    How long have you lived in Germany?

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