Snakes: I am going to evolve to have perfect camouflage so I am undetectable by all.

Also snakes: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU STEPPED ON ME ARE YOU BLIND

I would not have seen that, before it was to late.

Fun fact:

Snake venoms are generally classified into four main functional types: neurotoxic (attacking the nervous system), hemotoxic (disrupting blood clotting and destroying red blood cells), cytotoxic (destroying local cells and tissues), and myotoxic (causing rapid muscle breakdown).
https://a-z-animals.com/animals/snake/snake-facts/4-types-of-snake-venom/

First thing I noticed was the cactus that is wanking one out behind the bushes there

Me trying to see the "little guy"

You have to respect that rattlesnake warn you before biting. It’s very polite.

I have one or two of these come to hang out near my house each year so I just load them into a garbage can and take them to the north forty so they don't bite my dogs.

Danger noodle

Oh. I thought you were talking about the masturbating cactus.

Hey look at me, im a rattle snake! I camouflage well info my environment then wait till you get close to loudly announce my presence like some sort of joke. GREETINGS!

I was watching a nature documentary last week. Rattlesnakes are some kinky motherfuckers. When the male approached the female to mate, the first thing she did was smack his head around with her tail. Then when it was time for copulation, she wrapped her tail around the male's penis and dragged him by it to their mating spot.

I once dated a guy who was an extreme sub, who really wanted me to put him in a dog cage while I went off to work (I didn't do it, I wasn't ready for that level of kink at the time.) I think he would've been down for a rattlesnake-style mating ritual.

Yesssss I love r/findthesniper posts. Good shit

Sneak snake

Rattlers are adorable and I refuse to think differently. Their little angry snoots and tail wiggles. Maraca butts!

Man snakes are so cool

If I hadn't somehow clicked right on it when enlarging the pic, I never would have seen it.

We had a real problem with the babies around the house when I was a kid - they often don't have enough of a rattle grown yet to alert you.

It's one of the reasons that now, I leave some tidbits out for the local family of possum - they come by each night. They love to munch on small snakes, and are immune to most snake venom. Plus they eat mice and rats as well:

https://animalhype.com/mammals/do-possums-eat-snakes/

Genuinely took me a hot minute to find that nope rope

This is why I stay on the walking paths in my neighborhood. They're supposed to be here in NM, too, but I've never seen one where I live. I don't want to meet one. Where I am it's sagebrush and sand, maybe they're closer to the mountain where the ground rocky like in this picture.

That looks like West Tucson!

Well if he didn't want to get stepped on, he shouldn't have been looking so much like a rock while hanging out among all those other rocks!

I hate it when cacti suddenly jack off at me

It was the second one that got me!

Even after seeing the zoom in crop I couldn't spot snek in the full photo for a minute.

findTheSniper

angy

Badger badger badger badger, mushroom mushroom! badger badger badger badger AH! Snake! Snake! Snake! Ooooh, it's a snake!