Actually most of your friends would be gatherers

I mean you can shit standing up today...

I imagined they would be squatting for shits

What's stopping you from shitting standing up now?

you get a scratch, you die in pain from infection a week later

Failure at hunting for a couple of days means you die of starvation

Early humans if they were introduced to modern conveniences:

To be fair, you can still shit standing up

You could start a "men's retreat" and charge conservatives $18,000/week to do this to themselves.

You can murder the neighbor and steal his wife... (Reminder for anyone disliking civilization)

The number of people in here who think that pre-historical bodies were as frail as city bodies, is very high. The only thing city bodies do well is resist the fettid creep surrounding their lifestyle.

Outside people didn't get sepsis and starve all the time. In that habitat that city people find terrifying, they thrive. They are very very susceptible to the top tier viruses, bacteria, alcohol, sugar, entertainment, and control structures bred by thousands of generations of natural selection in the people pile though.

Are you describing Los Angeles? Toilet is everywhere. You can shit standing up. Sleep until noon. Nothing makes sense.