Yeah. We're unhappy because your slow ass won't get out of the way! XD

(but also: What if you were moving toward a light source? Wouldn't that mean you get to see faster? 🤔)

Do these fine gentlemen look unhappy to you?

"People in a hurry are experiencing stress."

Hmmm actually ☝️🤓
Sonic don't walk fast, he runs fast.

Because he's addicted to cocaine

Analyses for specific causes of death showed that participants with low walking speed had about a threefold increased risk of cardiovascular death.

https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.b4460

True. Walking fast makes me very unhappy with all the slow walkers

Yeah I'm unhappy about all these slow mother fuckers that are always in my way.

It used to be that when my girlfriend and I were walking, she would always be rushing me by walking much faster. After starting my current job, I've become the fast walker, always having to slow down for her.

Uhhh I'm not sure I like the implication of this is

Idk I walk pretty fast and I’m pretty happy, aside from my crippling depression.

Depending on how slow the people in front of me are, I'm also more homicidal! At least Sonic has a lethal spin dash for such occasions.

--rant start--

I hate it I hate it such a shitty implication. This headline implies that walking fast makes you sad, but I'm willing to bet a lot that the study didn't actually find such a causal connection.

My guess is that the causal link is stress here. Stressed people walk faster and are also sad.

So make the headline say "scientists say stressed people walk fast" or something because someone will try walking slowly in hopes of that bringing happiness

--rant end--

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/older-adults-who-walk-faster-may-cut-risk-cognitive-decline-by-half

Saw this in the news a few days ago.

So, you're telling me that if I just walk slower, I'll be happier?

Honestly I’ve been very conscious of this lately as a fast walker and it turns out even when I’m in the best mood it’s just fucking painful to walk slow. I feel the same way driving slow in a car with a turbo — the car wants to move fast.

Now I know why I walk fast

But in sonic world, happy people run fast, sad people skate.

Gotta go pee!

Tracks, I walk so fast it makes people upset with me. I just hate wasting time, why not get where you are going quickly. I’m also deeply unhappy.

This must be. I always walk fast or even run and im sad as fuck

said… people content to be slow? Or… might these be… most kindly… and not shaming anyone… lazy assed bitches?

This can’t be true although I only have anecdotal evidence to back up my claim.

It’s me. I’m unhappy and a very slow walker.

Only until you are running so fast the runner's high kicks in and you are in heaven.

So much anger from the fast walkers. Hmm.

I've noticed anger makes me go faster when I'm walking or on the exercise bike