Sorry, but there's been a blanket ban on any "vigorous physical stimulation" in the lab ever since the incident

Are you telling me I could get paid to hand-crank my centrifuge? I've been doing it for free all these years.

In lew of a hand cranked centrifuge, we installed a Crank machine next to the centrifuge, for "reforming offenders stimulating researchers by teaching them habits of industry."