Rotate like a pillar of shawarma

I rotate like a döner

I spin right round like a record, baby.

Rotate. Why would you just wash one side?

I’m like a rotisserie chicken in there

I start facing and rotate as I wash different areas.

I cling to the ceiling like a frightened cat.

OP please tell me that you don't just wash one side of your body.

I rotate like a rotisserie chicken.

Underneath? It's a "rain" shower, it doesn't matter how I stand.

I turn around so both sides can get clean...

Upside down so I get a good undercarriage wash.

Depends what I'm scrubbing

Predominantly away, unless whatever cleaning I'm doing requires otherwise.

I start out facing away while I test the water on my not so delicate skin until I acclimate, or make whatever adjustments needed. Then I alternate depending on where I'm washing. I tend to handle my hair last, which always leads to a cascade of shampoo and conditioner foam down in all the crevices which then need to be rinsed again.

Away, unless I'm stomping the turd down the drain, then I guess I'm facing towards it

Yes

I go up and down while spinning like a yo-yo

Shower time is centrifuge time

Yeah, usually

I sit. I close my eyes and tilt my head up, letting the drops fill my ears

I do rapid backflips the whole shower to make sure I'm getting washed all over.

Kind of both?

I hold the shower head in my hand almost the entire time, but when I need both hands (e.g. shampooing) I put it back in the holder and face away from it.

I can’t stand having the water running directly on my head or face - those waterfall shower heads are my nightmare scenario.

... What??
I think your question just broke my brain.

Yes.

I tend to face away while soaping up, and I face the water when I'm rinsing off. I also shave in the shower, and I do that facing away.

Yes

Both, I like a good old 360 scrub.

Yes.

What makes you think I shower?

I'm like a hot dog on a roller

Facing, but I use handheld one so I can point it anywhere I want. I was surprised this wasn't common in UK even though it's fully compatible.

Yes.

I face it and try to conquer the fear. Then I turn the shower on and swap between facing towards and away while the water warms up

The water comes from above you.. How do you face towards or away from it?

Both, I installed a double shower.

Sideways.

Yes

I do a hand stand and face the water

Facing away is my default position when not actively rinsing anything. Either half these comments are trying to be funny with their quips about washing their whole body or they take the faster showers in the world with no soak/relax time

I have a rain shower

It's quite wonderful