Open gently, place on a freezer cooled plate and let it breathe for an hour... carve and enjoy.

Be weary of power outages. It might not have been properly stored even if you think it was.

It absolutely does.

It doesn't have sentience, it votes Republican

Be sure to ask for the green coffin at your green funeral.

Actually, I think it's cheese.

Lol we're no fans of the packers either.

We all make mistakes sometimes.

File Transfer Protocol

The back label says football player

I thought that at first too, but it definitely looks more like an astronaut helmet.

Sometimes I wish I were still in high school, but mostly because it was a different era... How foolish and idealistic we were to believe that dubbya was going to be the worst president and that America would ever unfuck its shit and become s place worth living in again "soon". There was no actual recovery after 9/11; just manic delusions.

No, unfortunately, no matter how hard I yearn and wish and dream, it's not 2003 anymore and I'll never be in high school again. Hell, I don't even envy the kids who are in high school NOW. I hear that all the issues schools used to have back then have only gotten worse. Even college has become a scam due to student loans. I'm actually glad I quit college to just work and pay off my loans twenty years ago.

If I had stayed in college for my chosen major I'd still be in debt to this day but unable to find work. Things would have only turned out better for me if I had changed my major to go full on into engineering, but that concept was nowhere near my mind back then and wasn't even close to "on the table". And now, even that track is oversaturated. The economy is hemorrhaging all its resources at the parasitic tumors afflicting its managerial and administrative levels. We're all just waiting for the confidence game to fall apart at this point...

What I mean is that you have no idea what bacteria is in that cheese or if the beer fridge was constantly refrigerated. If it doesn’t kill you it could still lead to an unpleasant ER visit. Not worth it over $10-20 worth of cheese.

Moldy bread? Nah.

Moldy hard cheese? Just generously cut off the mold and it's fine*

*I wouldn't feed this to anyone else, but I'd eat it, and do all the time

EDIT: the USDA agrees that moldy hard cheese is safe to eat https://ask.usda.gov/s/article/If-food-has-mold-is-it-safe-to-eat

For hard cheese, such as Cheddar, cut off at least 1-inch around and below the mold spot (keep the knife out of the mold itself). After trimming off the mold, the remaining cheese should be safe to eat.

May I offer you a tasty tidepod in these trying times?