All of them are optional, except, "That's not going anywhere." If you don't pat it, and say that, it's coming off 100%.

I've heard every one of those, but none of them are "dad things".

I've never been in this community before, but it seems very wholesome - thank you all for helping others <3

some of the above jokes are a bit meh, but i got intrigued by one specific thing, specifically the "heating the whole neighbourhood" thing when a door is left open. i've never asked my parents about energy bills (they are very chill otherwise!) and now i'm wondering.

how come the thermostate is a big thing? Is it primarily costs as mentioned, or are there other things in terms of comfort? Does it depend on the climate?

i'm aware of the energy crises, but even outside of those, you'd hear that kind of remarks. i pay like $100/mo for energy, so idk if it's just me.

Sometimes things really aren’t that heavy, but they’re difficult to carry because they’re awkward. The weight is distributed unevenly. Warning others who may be handling it is just basic safety.

I get a two. I use "Let's rock and roll" when it's time to leave, and I point out horses (or other farm animals) when driving by them.

But as a former cashier, anyone who says the first one ("Guess it's free then") tests my willpower. Those people have no idea how lucky they are that employees aren't allowed to smack customers.

"Time to get a watch" (when someone asks what time it is)

I feel attacked

Also this image needs "calling everything 'bad boy'"

I’m guilty of all of them except the “heating the whole neighborhood “ thing. I always hated when my dad said that.

These also apply to French dads, remarkably. Being a dad is international 🌍✌️🕊️

I prefer waiting until the kid who is taking too long in the bathroom is done and then asking "Did everything come out okay?"

I just took so much psychic damage from this post 😭

When it's time to leave, I say "Let's make like Optimus Prime and roll out."

Hey look it's half of Charlie Berens' set.

Don't forget "It's not the heat that gets you, its the humidity" every time someone says it's warm outside

Look horses and Glad we're not going that way are not dad-specific

14...

I'm in this image and I don't like it.

11/20. Frick.

6/20, guess I didn't grow up in the place this was based off of.

17/20, very score, much dad.