Smile and look around at all the people who want to celebrate you, and muse on how fortunate you are to have them in your life.

No idea, but once I was feeling extra awkward and started singing along with the rest of them.

Masturbate furiously. The goal is to finish when the song ends.

Slap on a grateful expression, stare into the candles, and conjure up a wish worthy of the magic they're casting with this ancient chant.

Bathe in the adulation, absorb their hymn of worship like the shining golden god you are. To thine own self be true! Happy Birthday = Hail Satan

When I was little, I always did a weird cringey little dance. As an adult I started doing it again. It makes an awkward situation (for me), fun.

https://i.giphy.com/gjgWQA5QBuBmUZahOP.webp

Twerk

Move your hands like you are conducting the symphony.

Join in but replace every instance of "you" with "me."

Join in the singing but replace the word "you" with the word "me".

Grab your cat and prop them up like they're being marionetted and make them do a little dance

You're supposed to sit there awkwardly looking deeply embarrassed.

Smile and wave boys, smile and wave

Immediately blow the candles out and get them to stop singing so it’s no longer awkward for everyone involved.

scream in pain and agony until its quiet, then say "thank you everyone, let's enjoy the cake"

Hand out cigars

Grin and bear it

Practice your death metal vocals

unzip

Find the exit.

I absolutely loathe this tradition, and I ask everyone to not do it in celebration of me. I also ask friends and family to not let anyone know it's my birthday at any restaurant we're at, as well. I fucking hate being sung to. Like, a lot. Just give me a pat on the back or something for Chrissake.....

I usually just screech loudly until it's over or the restaurant staff come over to intervene

This is the greatest comment section ever

Cry.

Become the conductor of the choir.

Think about how you're slowly creeping towards death.

Stand up, hand on your heart and sing along but with "to meeee"

Stare at the candles until they burn a hole in your retina

Sing with them.

Class warfare

Smile and clap the beat

I just sit there and guess if the singers will use my full name, or the short form, or my nickname. And then giggle stupid when they inevitably try to use all 3 together.

Sit and grin?

Panic.

Apparently it's not to grab a knife like you're gonna stab someone.

Fast clapping and loud high pitched toddler-like giggles and squeals always gets a fun reaction.

Fight or flight.

Sigh loudly, roll eyes, scowl judgementally,

...just like Mom.

Stare at everyone with disdain except for one person. Pure contempt for that person. After the singing has concluded. I point at that one person and say “Execute them”. Damn it feels good to be good to be a benevolent dictator.

Crunk.

My manager suggested that the team would sing for me last year in a group meeting. I asked why and she said they should sing because it's my birthday. I had to look on the calendar because she sounded so convinced but it was several weeks until my birthday. Since that she has never suggested happy birthday singing again and I really hope it remains like that.

Conduct them with my fingers.

Smile, stare at the cake, and lightly bob your head to the song. If you don't feel awkward with eye contact, then you can glance around the room and look at everyone.

I get friends that also hate that song.

/s

I think I usually just clap with them

Wave your hands towards your face with closed eyes and your head high.

Look pissed off

Throw heavy objects at their heads until they shut the fuck up, then eat the cake while they ponder where exactly they went wrong

Be glad it's just Happy Birthday. In Poland there is this weird tradition, where they'll sing for You 4 songs, just to irritate You. Nobody likes it, especially the birthday person but it still happens.

Run?

Join in?

Clap and make unwavering eye contact.