Tesla --> Swasticars
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X = xitter, said “shitter”
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Citrix -> Shitrix
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"Esos hijos de puta" /s
Almost all of them are in spanish, since it's my first language...
- Steve Jobs -> Esteban Trabajos
- Bill Gates -> Recibo Puertas
- Mark Zuckerberg -> Mark Zuckerbergas
- Elon Musk -> Elon Cucks
- Nintendo -> Nientiendo
- YouTube -> Tu Tubo
- Facebook -> Cara Libro
- Tiktok -> Tique Toque
- Microsoft -> Mocosoft
- Toyota -> Totoya
- SQL Server -> Ese culiao Server
- Coca-Cola -> Caca-Culo
- Pepsi -> Pepno
- Dr. Pepper -> Dr. Pooper
This will be open to edit to add more.
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EA has been either Electronic Farts or Evil Assholes since middle school, for me.
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The classic Ford -> Fix Or Repair Daily
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Whole foods -> Whole paycheck
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Bookface. It's not even that clever it just stuck with me for some random ass reason.
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Fascists
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Kemically Fried Children
Dead Lobster
Pizza Slut
Windoze
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I found some for Apple. They aren't all "pejorative" but still
- Fruit Company (or Fruit Store)
- i.... --> iSheep, iOverprice, iGreed, iLies, iRot
- Apfel von Braun (Apple sucks up to fascists and authoritarians, Hiterl's wife was Eva Braun, Apfel = Apple in German)
- Malus - Latin name for Apple
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Lol a trucking company I worked for in high school was called "Cheezik Transport" or something like that but all the workers called it "Cheese Dick"
Windows, with it's numerable AI and cloud integrations, has morphed itself into a "Sloperating System" and I refuse to call it anything else.
microshaft
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Still refer to stop and shop as stop and pee sometimes. Its a callback to an old joke from when I was little. The joke was that the 2 grocery stores in town, stop & shop, and A&P were going to merge.
For years my grub entry read rWindows, it doesn't make sense in English, but "Ruim" is portuguese for bad, so it sounds similar to badows.
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Superstore = Stupidstore
Microsoft = Microcrap
Google = Goofle
Kraft Dinner = Crap Dinner
Windows OS = Windoze
X = Twitter
Canadian Tire = Crappy Tire
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Not companies, but "N*STINK, Backstreet Girls, and 98 Disease" lives rent free in my brain.
Please tell me that the Backstreet Girls exist now as a badass parody/cover band.
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In Québec, so in Frenglish: Wal-Mart --> All-Marde (All-Shit)
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Home Despot
Idk about pejorative but I call TikTok reels "tiktokies". Kinda makes them sound a little silly which is what I'm usually going for, lol.
Microsoft -> Mrkvošrot (slovakian for "carrot scrap")
M$. ËÃ, Nexlé, Jarf Buzzos, Fux, Nixxon, the Blcops subseries in COD of Doody, &c ad ∞ with varying consistency.
Taco Bell -> Toxic Hell
Jack in the Box -> Jack in the Sock
Cici's Pizza -> Feces Pizza
Windaube
(pretty common one)
If anyone has a good one for ESRI, lmk.
Cannondale -> Crack'n'fail
Giant Tiger= Giant Welfare
The next two are my brother's, I don't eat there but I find them hilarious :
KFC = Yucky Tucky
McD = Rotten Ronnie's
Burger King -> Booger Fling
"Crap made by slaves" for most goods sold here in the US. It's not always true, but total disregard almost every company with cases of proven forced labor of innocent people including women and children it's easier for me to write it all off as fucked up to buy. It's also all made to breakdown into known toxic waste soon enough to force you to buy more soon.
"Sugar water" for sweet tea soda and filtered juices.
"Advertised burger" for anything that I know sucks but for no good reason I really crave some gut wrenching to fastfood.
"Internet of Stings" is a good stallmanism.
"Unmanned ground drone" for a waymo or anything it. The cameras just creep me out.
"Children electrocutioners" for ChicFila
"Relic looters" for hobby lobby
"The company that stole 300 bucks from me" for local crooked car dealer ship that stole 300 bucks from me.
I hate ads because they make these horrible places seem normal, so I try my best at anti advertising.
facefuck.
The Food Hole
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None. It doesn't do anything. Don't like nestle? I don't buy their products. Maybe spread the word among family and friends. Same for coca cola. Same for tesla. Same for a bunch of others. Finding names for them seems a bit childish.
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