It all makes sense now... You leave snacks out so when the Santa-maggots hatch in the darkness of their chimneys, they can crawl out and be fed. Also why lil kids must never wait and watch, lest the kids themselves be eaten.

That checks out:

I think, my brain broke from reading "fun science fact" followed up by "the North Pole elves"...

🎶 All I want for Christmas is pixels

Okay so what do we make of the sledge and reindeer? Are they also the spawn of Santa, in a different category like ants have soldiers and workers?

Having a new Santa each year, as well as a Santa with an exoskeleton, would address the insane g-forces his body would be under from delivering billions of presents all over the world in a few hours.

needs more jpeg

Xenomorph Santa laying her elf eggs

I imagine Mrs Claus more like an Enderverse Hive Queen.

All of the Elves and Santa's are just extensions of the self. This is how she can compile 'the list'. You think those Santa's and Elves are just doing dress up for the season, but all year they are extensions of the Santa hive, watching to see who is naughty and who is nice.

Did your parent ever put on a Santa hat? They walk among us.

This is also how 'Santa' delivers all of the presents in a single night... They are all '(Mrs) Santa'.

Well this is ridiculous.

But I never thought to ask where elves come from. Does Mrs. Claus give birth to them? Or they have elf wives that live there too, like a company town at the North Pole? Where they are kept poor and exploited by Santa, so he can fulfill the greedy capitalist dreams of spoiled first world children? It’s like slavery with extra steps. Yeah I got laid in college.

The santa is a hag ?