This message was sponsored by the Ministry of Silly Walks

Tip from person with short legs: if someone is walking faster behind you, move to the side and slow down to let them pass at their speed. You're welcome fast walkers.

In German, when two or more trucks overtake with very slight speed differences like this, they call it "Elefantenrennen" or "elephant racing". Bit of a disrespect to elephants if you ask me, snails would've been more appropriate.

Not as bad as when a small woman crosses the road to end up walking right in front of me and then proceeds to be visibly uncomfortable at the fact that a large man is walking right behind her.

Even better, when I cross the road too as courtesy so that I'm not behind her, and she simultaneously crosses back across the road because she was uncomfortable, then notices I'm behind her again and thinks I'm following her.

I moved from a huge city to a smaller city, and sometimes I miss the huge city because nobody really gave a fuck who was near them on the sidewalk because there were always other people on the sidewalk. People perceive others so much harder here and while the social discomfort it causes me isn't nearly as bad as the fear of assault that small woman might have, it still gets exhausting.

Not as annoying when you're a fast walker, but they guy behind you is only 90% as fast, but decides to take your walking as a challenge and just follows you across campus for no apparent reason and you're just wondering why someone is clearly following you.

Yesterday I was stuck behind a very fast walking woman... who was walking her dog. She'd slow down to nothing when the dog needed to sniff something, then speed way up when the dog was done. Her v(max) was higher than mine, but her v(min) was zero, leading to a v(mean) that was slightly slower than mine. So, I'd keep on catching up to her and having to wait until her dog was done sniffing at something. But her dog didn't take enough time to justify my walking around her.

I was in this situation once, I went for the pass, it was taking too long to pass and I noticed they were also speeding up, so I pick up the pace and start the jog and they did the same we started to get into a full sprint. It went on for a while until we got to the corner, he went left and I waited for the light. Never saw him again. To this day I'm not quite sure what happened.

Worse, the slow walker that takes up the whole sidewalk (weaving back and forth) while wearing earbuds and then act upset they didn't hear "Excuse me" 3x when you push past them

Video game escort quests.

If you call out "On Your Left!" they usually speed up.

Alternatively, scream "PARKOUR!!" & do a somersault past them. This usually stops people in their tracks.

I know exactly what he's talking about.

Try having short legs. I think I'm walking fast and a short woman waddles by me at twice my speed...

Get into this situation, I pass the dude.

Second later I get to the door but because of how it is placed and how close he is, it would be rude to swing it open and run in. So I open the door for him and let him go first.

He says thanks, I don't respond and proceed to look annoyed against all my best intentions.

:(

Just speed up until you are level.woth them, match your speed, and hold their hand. Worst case scenario, you don't have to worry about them anymore. Best case, new best friend!

Imagine giving a fuck about walking next to strangers

Just yell "Holy shit, what the hell is this?" and quickly pass while they turn around. Works at least 85% of the time.

Toss a banana peel in front of them

What about when that person slowly gets into your lane against the wall/road instead of walking straight.

What I do is tailgate them until the last second then suddenly press Nox to pass them on the best side, and bye bye.

I feel this more when I am on the highway at the speed limit and a car ahead of me is going 5 under it.

Just stop for 30 seconds (hoping that you're not in a hurry).

Sometimes I give zero fucks and kick it into turbo mode.

Turn and look them in the eyes "oh, you wanna make a race of it".....

Both of those options are still better than walking slightly slower.