We might not live in the best timeline, but we sure live in the funniest one.

(no idea if it's satire, but I appreciate the dedication to the bit, especially when he started stealing merch right after)

Link to the videos Knowyourmeme page

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[–] 199 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Everyone running for their lives like cowards. He however sees the opportunity, steals the merch and asks for subscribers. A true American patriot.

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  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    So what does one do with such items? Is there a collector's market for merch sold on the grounds upon whence le charley kirke died like he despicably preached for others not himself?

    "It's the tee-shirts and caps from where there was a shooting! Somewhere in 'Murica!"

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  • [–] 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I think yes. I am pretty sure there is a market for exactly what you just described. I mean, would you be surprised if some right wingnut buys a kirk shirt and places it on his trumpian altar? It doesn't even have to be a cultist. Captain tiny face died in a bombastic way. The morbidity of it could attract collectors.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    With a big enough market there will always be buyers. There's like a hundred million of these psychos in the USA, how many shirts and caps was this, a couple dozen? Yeah they'll sell. Just look at that bath water girl or she sold her farts or whatever the fuck it was

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    Now that you mention it, there was an old shoe repairman in my town, among other knickknacks he had a piggy bank on a shelf, but it was like a bust of JFK, and the coin slot was right where Oswald supposedly "acted alone".

    But le charlee kercke is like scraping the bottom of the barrel on that political and cultural scale.

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    [–] 95 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Jesus will protect you

    Dude is a comedic genius

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  • [–] [S] 67 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    His apology video included the line "I loved Charlie Kirk, he taught me things about Jesus that I didn't even know myself"
    It's so fucking funny

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Did you know Jesus's favorite screw is torx? Sure he loves him a Canadian square, #2 of all time, but he just really loves the torx for its capabilities. He'd know being an omniscient carpenter.

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  • [–] 63 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Grifters grifting off of a grifters death is grifting 101.

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  • [–] 52 points 1 year ago* (4 children)

    This is like... how you write the snivelling, untrustworthy, back stabbing, people pleaser, duplicitous 'local guide' archetype/trope character in a movie, with zero subtlety.

    Just 110% opportunist.

    Fucking wild, man.

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  • [–] 76 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    This is the dumbest fucking timeline, but the silver lining is that if you’ve got a really dark sense of humor, there are a lot of moments that are deeply hilarious

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  • [–] 62 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    While everyone else was running away, this man was brave enough to run in (and steal the merch).

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago

    My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined that this wasn’t the elaborate Harlem Shake drop with a crowd celebrating CKs death that I was expecting.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago

    I love that he exhorts everyone to "Go to church on Sunday," and "Read the Book of Mormon," but immediately turns around and steals the now extremely collectible merch. Gotta love those MAGA Christian Values.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago

    I mean, everyone's paying all their attention to the shooting, nobody's going to worry about the merch until later. Pretty ideal situation for a thief.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago

    Bro is going to jail for tampering with a crime scene lol

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (14 children)

    What a melt, someone was just shot in the neck and this is your reaction, we're is his sense of shame or even his sense of fear and self preservation, it's kinda of psychopathic

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  • [–] 34 points 1 year ago (9 children)

    It is entirely psychopathic. But it is also the complete textbook incarnation of the predatory capitalism which Tinyface liked to claim himself a supporter of.

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  • [+] -9 points 1 year ago* (8 children)

    I don't think capitalism is forcibly stealing people's private property and just acting like an idiot for clout and fame, I think stuff like that happens in countries of all economic models throughout history

    Regardless I agree it's probably psychopathy to a degree, or maybe he was drunk or on drugs who knows

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  • [–] 21 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    You're right. Capitalism is when you use your power and resources to get the government to allow you to steal people's private property without force.

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  • [–] -2 points 1 year ago

    I think that's called cronyism which is a specific form of capitalism in which government and business colude to get what's in there best interest and not the citizens, there are forms of capitalism that don't permit such corruption were government are business are more separated

    I admittedly think tho we are referring to the USA right now which I think it's a cronyist country especially with the amount of government bottle knecking that exists in the USA

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Stuff like that does happen, but in capitalism it's incentivized, because fame is a gateway to cash

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (3 children)

    I think fame is the gateway too power everywhere really, as the elites in any economic model favour people of influence

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (2 children)

    Yes but power isn't actually something everyone wants. People do however want to put food on the table and not worry about rent.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    That all seems so american to me. In my lifetime i have seen one person fimling himself talking to a camera for a video. It was in a supermarket and when i walked into the isle awkwardly that he was in, he put his phone away.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    Sure, someone just got shot and the crowd is panicking and trying to escape.

    Let's just stand here in the middle of the exit and fill a video, blocking everyone's way out! Absolutely brilliant.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Well, with the kind of scum listening to people like Kirk, this should net be surprising, should it?

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    This feels exactly like a Conner O'Malley character and that's horrifying.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    I got the feeling that this TikToker has been to several shootings. I imagine you would have to be fairly desenstized to gun violence to get your phone out and make a video about everything.

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  • Why didn’t the shooter save us and shoot this man too?

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