top 96 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 81 points 1 year ago (20 children)

Fucking hell. I mean... fuck.

I wish the world would lose all of its stupid societal stigmas that make people feel less human than their equally human peers.

  • source
  • hideshow 20 child comments
  • [+] -43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (19 children)

    You are a tall person, aren’t you?

    Edit/comment: downvotes for this? lol triggered tall people is too much.

    Edit/comment II: yup, the tall triggered folks have tiny hearts for their size. Let’s get the DV to >100.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 19 child comments
  • [–] 23 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Have you considered that the downvotes are because you made a stupid assumption?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    I'm only 5'11" but I agree with them.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Under 6'4" DNI /S

    But for real a lot of Tinder bios and stuff have a 6' minimum stated. While 6'+ people aren't rare exactly, I've known many women and men who hover around that mark or exceed it, it does exclude a large segment of the population.

    I think a large part of it is that women generally want a partner taller than them. Guys also seem to generally want a partner shorter than them. And a lot of people will just ignore others until someone checks all the boxes instead of taking a chance. This in turn tends to fuel the loneliness epidemic and can't be good for self image.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I'm 6"6 but your comment is just tone deaf.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (5 children)

    Does it matter? Even if the commenter is in fact tall, what was said is still 100% valid. Physical appearance is valued way too high

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (4 children)

    I think it does matter, yes. Context is important or at least interesting and I’m curious, so I ask. And an honest answer would’ve been nice versus a bunch of bitchy and meaningless downvotes.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (3 children)

    What’s your credit card number? I need it for context. And don’t you dare give me a bitchy downvote!

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 41 points 1 year ago (16 children)

    isn't this just body dysmorphia?

    also, men are also vulnerable to body image issues, and we're also given unrealistic body standards in the media.

  • source
  • hideshow 16 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (11 children)

    The is a good example of gender affirming surgery too.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 11 child comments
  • [–] -1 points 1 year ago (10 children)

    This is a terrible example of gender affirming surgery.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 10 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago* (9 children)

    How? These men believe that being tall is masculine, and they are uncomfortable emough in their bodies to literally get painful surgery for some extra height so they can feel more masculine.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 9 child comments
  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    I'm going to directly compare this to top surgery or bottom surgery in trans people because i believe those are the best examples of gender affirming care but this also applies to hrt. I'm not trans and im not a pysc so take this with a grain of salt.

    These men dont feel Dysphoria over their height what they are feeling is Body Dysmorphia. Body dysmophia is obsessive-compulsive disorder over a body part being 'wrong' or defective. An extra inch or two of height is not associated with being male. They will still be recognized as male before and after. They feel like they are male both before and after the surgery and gender never comes into the equation. They are obessing over height because of a mental health condition causing them to hyper fixate on this 'issue' that might not even be real. There are men who are like 6'1 getting height surgery.

    Now if we look at top surgery for a comparison. Gender Dysphoria is described as an psychological distress where they identify with a gender other than the biological gender they were assigned at birth. FTM trans men might feel dysphoria from having breasts and top surgery directly addresses the root cause of the dysphoria. Breasts are a primary sex characteristic so this makes sense, something like botox would not be considered gender affirming care I believe.

    It gets blurred because a lot of trans people also suffer from body dysomorphia and hyper fixate on body parts but there seems to be a clear distinction between the two conditions and height lengthening surgery doesn't fit the criteria for gender affirming care.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 7 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago* (6 children)

    These men get gender euphoria from being tall and had gender dysphoria from being short. They believed being short was not masculine. They got surgery to feel more masculine. This is an example of gender affirming care, just like breast implants and hair plugs.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    I cant see anything that links this to feelings of gender discomfort or euphoria and it doesnt make sense that this would be gender related. Its body dysmorphia and the treatment is therapy.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (4 children)

    Do you want me to try and explain this to you again with even smaller words?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Being taller = man being short = women. Yeah youve already given me your idiotic take.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (2 children)

    Do you think men don't see being tall as being more masculine?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Yes. Height is not a primary sex characteristic. People do not look at a 5'8 man as more feminine than a 5'10 man. If a man views himself as needing to be taller to be a man there is something else going on and its not gender dysphoira.

    You seem to consider gender affirming care to be anything that increases confidence. Buying a cool jacket would be gender affirming care to you. I hate this because it waters down the topic to pointlessness. The world health organisation definition of the word includes "when it conflicts with the gender they were assigned at birth" which I agree is nessesary.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago

    These men are conflating hight with masculinity.

    These men are seeking medical care to affirm their gender.

    You don't need to be trans to participate in gender affirming activities.

    Gender is not a trans specific phenomenon.

    Associating stuff with gender is not a trans specific phenomenon.

    People doing the stuff they associate with their gender, to feel more confident and comfortable within their gender, is gender affirming activity.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Apparently yeah, I was only aware of the delusional variant (where the obsessed on flaw is not present).

    I'm seeing dysmorphia run fucking rampant in men over the past several years. It was initially mostly noticeable with incels, but it's gotten much more noticably widespread.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Lousy self esteem is the curse.

    We need better parents

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 56 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    I firmly believe in the right to bodily autonomy and the freedom to modify one's body in accordance with their wishes. But also this definitely fits in the same mental category as breast augmentation where I hope people discuss their body image with a therapist first.

    I'll admit, as a tall woman I'm probably the least likely sort to really understand, but I am sympathetic, even if I was attracted to men it would be unlikely for any given partner to be significantly taller than me, and as I'm not it's downright rare. There's lots of gendered awkwardness in being taller than most men, and I'm certain that short men aren't lying when they say the inverse is also true. But also, the short men in my life still feel pretty damn manly to me and the ones who own it have a certain extra charm that comes from that.

    Also, the article mentioning guys over 6' doing this, and I really hope those guys talk to someone about it, because that sounds like it might be dysmorphia.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 25 points 1 year ago*

    Also, the difference here is that while still an invasive operation, breast augmentation is way less destructive and still somewhat reversible compared to leg lengthening surgery. Not to mention the long and painful recovery process. And it’s not even guaranteed you’ll recover normally.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

    As a fellow fairly tall person, even beyond how it looks to be tall, you don't need to be much over 6' before it starts getting downright inconvenient. I'm just shy of 1.9m / 6'3", so by no means exceptionally tall (for my country and gender, at least) and like... there are a lot of times when it's just troublesome. I don't fit in places or things. A lot of clothes don't fit me well. I hit my head on things. A lack of legroom is often uncomfortable. I feel like I'm ruining the view for other people at concerts. The idea of people close to my height actively going out of their way to make themselves even taller - even if it was a trivial process, which it clearly is not - is madness to me

    Of course I do understand that it's a self-image thing and such things do not care about practicalities. Everyone's got to find a way to be happy with themselves. I get that. It's just... god I hate hitting my head on stuff, that shit hurts

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago

    As someone who is 6'4", yeah, I feel similarly. Airplanes are terrible and I always hit my head on things. I kinda understand guys who are, like, 5'5" doing this. Most women like their partners to be taller than them, so it could significantly increase your dating pool to be 5'7". But once you're at 6', not only do most women not care at all if you are taller - they can't even tell.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    My husband is 6'3" and works in a university kitchen.

    The tables are too short causing him to be hunched over all day. The doorways are too short, there are overheads on the cookware and he hits his head on both these things if he's not paying attention.

    He's size 14 shoe and can't just buy them off the rack and cost more. His knees and back are already failing him and he's not yet 40.

    On a less serious note, I never wear heels. Taking photos together is a nightmare.

    I'm short, 5'1". I've dated men from my height to his and dont really have a preference other than confidence in one's self.

    People don't get to choose their height, and being tall is not all it's cracked up to be. I bet my husband would trade some height to be pain free if you asked him.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I've never felt insecure about my height, and I do fall at the lowest end of the spectrum. Also one of the few times being gay has been a blessing since men tend to be a lot less fussy about height.

    To me, everyone else's expectations are the problem. Not me! I literally don't understand the appeal because it feels like such an arbitrary thing to like, like hair color.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Hear hear. I am average-slim and gay. Being easy to handle by a larger man is basically non-existent-God’s way of making up for all the other difficulties of being queer in a straight world.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 27 points 1 year ago

    jSYK this is literally gender affirming surgery.

  • source
  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    I feel so bad for guys who feel they need to do this. I've got several shorter than average friends, and they have all just leaned into it, and It's never been an issue for them. They are all happily married.

    I am relatively tall at 6'4" and it certainly has its perks. But man does it have its downsides, which are only worse and worse the taller you are.

    • Banging your head on stuff all the time
    • No legroom in cars, buses, trains, and especially airplanes. Just being constantly uncomfortable when traveling.
    • Limited clothing options if you want them to fit correctly, and a "tall tax" when a store does sell tall sizes.
  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    East Asia is just not meant for us. I have had to literally squat and turn sideways to get through some doors. And riding public transport there, my head is above the hand holds

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    The door thing isn't too shocking. I live in Texas, and the doors to both bathrooms are not full width. I physically cannot walk through them straight on without my shoulders blocking me. I have to turn sideways at least a little bit to go through. We have lived there 6 years, and my wife didn't believe me the other day until I showed her.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    In Canada there is one store that carries big and tall. I didn't mind it because they sold quality clothing. Now though they're switching to cheaper materials. 5 years ago all my clothes were 100% cotton now it's blends of cheap crap. But I'm 6' 7" so I'm stuck.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    I think online dating makes this significantly worse for guys. If you're meeting women IRL height is a lot less of an issue but online just that number becomes a huge barrier that you simply cannot overcome. Women who you would either have not interacted with much or would have been okay with your height if you had met in person will go out of their way to insult your height or wordlessly unmatch as soon as they find out how tall you are. It takes a lot of mental fortitude to keep your head up and realize that it's just a false impression based on the messed up dynamics of online dating and I can see how it could just destroy a guy's self esteem completely if he didn't realize that or couldn't keep the fact that it's an illusion in mind.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    online dating is a nightmare in general. If you are attractive and rich its probably very nice experience, but for the rest its just awful and makes you feel even more lonely and unwanted. Imo it should be regulated heavily.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago*

    Men called me too tall so it’s not all women setting this standard. Men are not being their own best friend more often than you think and are mean to both men and women over it.

  • source
  • parent
  • I'm 5'7". Slightly below the published average height for a man, I'm taller than something like 70% of women.

    In this thread, you've got a bunch of tall guys talking about hitting heads on doors, not fitting in airplane seats...I have no such issues, the world seems more or less perfectly scaled for me. If someone says "Okay, the average man is 5'10", the average woman is 5'4", so we'll build this to be reasonably used by both" it works out to be pretty much my size. Things like shopping carts I find perfectly ergonomic to use.

    Back when I was teaching flight school, I had a student who was a fairly tall man. I went with him to check out a Piper Cub he was thinking of buying. Plane was in great shape, duffel bag full of logbooks dating to the 1940s were in order, he could not climb into the aircraft, he physically did not fit inside. I fit perfectly, like it was made for me.

    My experience with women: In high school and college I got pretty much all the chicks I wanted. Prior to 2010, not a single woman mentioned my height to me. In movies and TV, you'd hear the phrase "tall, dark and handsome" but In 2010, I broke up with a long term girlfriend and I disappeared into work for a couple years. I was either home sleeping or at the airport.

    By 2012, asking women out in person had been repealed. You were REQUIRED to use a dating app, and those DO NOT work for men under 6 feet tall. 0.000 matches guaranteed.

    Places I've gotten more pussy than all dating platforms combined:

    My therapist's office. The receptionist gave me her number.

    ERAU, a university with an 8-1 male-female ratio.

    An aircraft mechanic school I won't identify, with a male-female ratio of 47-1.

    My uncle's house. I've got 3 female cousins who tend to have friends over.

    How is it I can walk into a sausage fest like A&P school, one of 94 guys on campus, many of them taller than me, driving nicer newer cars than me, wearing trendier clothes than me, and still be the one that gets one of the girls in her end? Well, in her own words, "You're the one that actually talked to me."

    Actually talking to women does not work online, and has been made illegal in person. So. We're done here apparently.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Being 5'3", I've thought about this kind of thing in the past. But the risks are too great, and I'm not looking to live with more pain through my life than I already have, just for the cause of being taller.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    There are plenty of women who would date a 5'3 man, and plenty of the women are shorter than 5'3

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • I'm going to say this simply, given my dating history. Any man who's a halfway decent person can find someone who will love them and ignore relatively minor physical issues (and sometimes major physical issues too). Any man who's complaining about not getting dates just because he's short has one of three situations:

    1. He has the wrong social circle.

    2. It has nothing to do with his height, and the prospects he's approaching recognize the red flags.

    3. His own insecurities make it impossible for him to prioritize another person.

    Of those, I have sympathy only for the first. Finding love is not easy for anyone, and it is possible to simply not know where to look. Otherwise, it's not about his height, it's either about his demeanor, or his own issues around his height.

    My reason for wanting to be taller is extremely pragmatic: I need to be able to reach stuff in my kitchen cabinets without standing on the counter or getting a ladder. I need to be able to shop in stores without having to stand on the shelves to get stuff up top. Simple stuff. I'd also just once like to be able to see over someone's head in a packed movie theater, so that I don't have to choose between going only to shows that I think will have low attendance (matinees) or sitting so close to the screen that it's overwhelming.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago

    I had a leg length discrepancy of a little under 3 inches when I was in middle school. They offered to either stop the growth in the long leg to let the short one catch up, or just directly lengthen the shorter one after I was done growing. After hearing what the process was for the latter, I happily chose the former. I'm alright being a little shorter if it means avoiding that torture.

  • source
  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago

    What kinda Gattaca bullshit is this?

  • source
  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Seems like your body would be all out of proportion.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago

    I feel conflicted.

    On the one hand, people should feel comfortable in their own body and who am I to have any say in this.

    On the other, "short" only means something in comparison to other people. The people seeking hair transplants and Botox can just have a specific vision of themselves, they don't need "more hair/smoother skin than the average person". But you cannot feel "too small" in isolation, I think. Not that I think too highly of cosmetic surgery either way.

    Maybe I'm just grasping for reasons to justify my feelings on it to myself, but I don't like this one bit.

  • source
  • [–] 18 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Dumb. If a woman won't date guys based on their height, they're not worth being with anyway.

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Yeah but the guys doing this are to young to understand this. All they see is online world reaffirming their fears that this is a huge deal to women. In my experience a lot of women who i thought wouldnt actually do care about it which surprised me.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    So all these short kings are getting gender affirming care?

    Cuz that's what I'm hearing here.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (2 children)

    You're hearing wrong. Being tall is advantageous regardless of gender.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Are women having these operations performed on them?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    Yes, it's in the article. The "(shortness) is the last acceptable prejudice in society" quote is attributed to a female patient.

    While it still seems like a gendered issue the way the article talks about it, the lengthening surgeries being done mainly on men and the rarer leg shortening on women; implying that women don't do this at all is wrong.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 31 points 1 year ago* (10 children)

    Being tall sucks. I'm a dude and 6'6, if I could trade in for a normal sized body I'd do it in a heartbeat.

    People are still dicks. Women don't fall from heaven onto my dick. I don't fit in cars, forget about flying. Finding clothes sucks ass. All furniture the world is child sized.

    I can find people in a crowd though, for what's that worth...

  • source
  • hideshow 10 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    The world is not child sized. I believe you when you say being tall suck. I am 1,5m, something like 4"11. So, the size of a child. I fit in cars, but I need a cushion. Lot of counters are so high that only my head sticks out. Finding clothes sucks too. My feet often don't touch the ground when I'm seating on an adult chair. I have to climb so much things. I can't reach all my shelves, even with a stool. Sometimes, sinks are a little too high.

    I'm absolutely ok with my size, and I really think being small is easier than being really tall, but the world is not made for people my size. Really not.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    As a 5'1" person, who, I've watched all the women in my family shrink with age, so I likely will too, I empathize with this statement.

    The cabinet above the refrigerator in my home is empty. I cannot reach it even with a stool. I send my son up on the counter go get stuff from the top shelf for me. My feet also hang from many a chair. As a child, all my pants had to go to the seamstress to be hemmed. I remember finding a pair of capris pants in middle school, not realizing they were capris, and just being excited the length was right for pants on me. My mother used a cushion in her car as far back as I can remember, and I'm greatful new cars have more seating settings so I don't have to do that.

    The best positive is I can buy child sized shoes and save a buck. But I do enjoy being short overall. I'd rather be short than so tall. But yeah, the world is made for the middle height people. Folks on either ends of the height scale have to make accommodations.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (4 children)

    Heey 6"6 here too, with slight back pain.

    Nothing is made for us, socks, dispensers, ceilings, you name it.

    Fun fact: in Sweden where I grew up, I was considered 'too tall', men shouldn't be over 1m86-ish.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [+] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (2 children)

    No one asked society to be "designed around extremes" lol, make place for everyone IMO!

    Your height range is bullshit too, and not even what people "look for", sweet spot pulled out of your behind lol.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • load more comments (2 replies)
    [–] 14 points 1 year ago*

    Jesus christ

    not sure if it's just me but reading this makes me extremely queezy.

    Ugh I can handle medical procedures and nsfl situations but

    Tap for spoiler

    "turns the key that forces apart the rods in his femurs"

    is too much of a step to grow more height methinks.


    These kinds of articles are interesting to read but god gods like I can't imagine the insecurity one must have to actually commit into going through these kinds of procedures.

    • I say this as a person below average height btw

    Either way thanks for sharing!

    One thing I'd suggest however is to use the NSFW tag as it does show open surgical wounds. Even though blood and gore related content doesn't bother me, it still might be unpleasant for others.

  • source
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Honestly, I don't understand the uproar in the comments. The guy clearly knows what he wants and why. It carries a risk and it's painful, but it's a risk he's taking for himself knowingly

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments
    view more: next ›