This would work with a small investment in hard drugs before hand. Depends on how much prep time and street cred you have.

Yeah it's early afternoon here and I just realized that I someone told me I had to stay awake for the next 24 hours, I wouldn't make it.

Go to Disneyland

Just meth, honestly.

Username checks out.

In related news, I'd choose Gordon Gekko since his financial misdeeds can't affect me within a day when I'm out plundering England for tie dye 😉

hope no one tells the vampires about sun tan lotion

Yeah, with billions on the line, 24 hours is a cake walk

weather alert, there's a tornado on your way...

hope it doesn't launch a weird franchise

Else, Jaws can't get you if you're nowhere close to the sea

Until they release a Jaws/Sharknado crossover.

Bruce isn't the villain in Jaws; the mayor is.

It says 24 hours of being chased by the villain. That means the timer won't start until they start chasing you.

Jaws is a spy movie henchman, not a horror movie villain.

So theres a lot in the books that never comes up in the film. She can impregnate you and make you give birth to a clone of her.

I am neither of those things.

Okay, so be a pregnant child. Got you.

I've got lots of mud and trees at my place. I'll be just fine.

My garden!

But if they're chasing you for 24 hrs then you may have pissed it off. It wouldn't be for a trophy at that point but just because it doesn't like you, so it's probably going to be more painful.

I was also going to say the SAW guy, but for different reasons:

John only targets people who he knows, who morally disgust him, or people who have personally made his own life considerably worse, or slighted him in some way.

...

If the scenario is... I have to survive 24 hours without being targetted by one of his kidnapping and torture plots...

Well, I do not have any deep, hidden secrets, I do not deny any part of my past to anyone willing to ask about it, I do not pretend to be something I am not. I have of course made mistakes, but they've never ruined any one's life, and I freely admit and take responsibility for them.

Frankly, given my considerably traumatic life thus far, and my current status of... being crippled, doing not much beyond PT and lemmyposting all day, untill I finish recovery... and given that I have actually made friends out of actual, diagnosed sociopaths before...

I really do not think I would be the kind of person John would have any problem with.

...

If the scenario was just poof, both of us appear in a room and are both there for 24 hrs... we just... talk? Trauma bond over our fucked up lives?

John has, more than once, recruited into his schemes people who... pass his tests, whom he does not find morally abhorent.

I don't have to agree with him on every single issue, I mostly just have to not be a hypocrite, and not intentionally try to offend or harm him.

...

Oh right, given that I have actually been held captive by a fentanyl addled mad man, for a week, and managed to talk my way into letting me leave... and then stumble over to a nearby firestation and tell them to call the police...

If I have actually survived a week of a very similar situation, I think I can survive just 24 hrs with a fictional character, who has a much, much more consistent, albeit still fucked up worldview.

Until a car accident and they put you on pain killers and don’t allow you to drive. You gonna end up Stranger Things’d in that hospital bed.

Tucker and Dale aren't the villains. Chad is.

You're just itchin to kill yourself on thier property, aintcha?

You'd probably still die somehow

Professor Moriarty would also likely be disinterested in actually coming after you. He only targeted Holmes because Holmes kept uncovering his criminal plans. He began to see Holmes as a roadblock, and was continuously frustrated by Holmes’ investigative abilities. As long as you weren’t in Moriarty’s way and didn’t have anything to offer him, he likely wouldn’t care about you. After all, his public image was that of a respected scholar. You’d be a little fish in a very big pond, and Moriarty was smart enough to recognize that going after you would net him nothing in return.

Free euthanasia? Where do I sign up?

Edit: yes I'll take the upgraded life insurance.

Wasn’t one of his big things that he was supernaturally strong and resilient? It wasn’t just a doll; It was a doll that was possessed by the ghost of a serial killer. So there was some supernatural aspect to it that made it harder to destroy than most people would expect.

We can be billionaire buddies because that was my first choice too.

Get laid, go for a road trip, get paid.

All good until the printer comes after you. Printers are haunted normally, so I imagine under this scenario they'd be even more malevolent...

A tire. I can drive away faster then that thing can roll.