sounds like asking for a hemmaroid.

Damn you, I have a sealed block of sharp cheddar that I might have to open tonight..

Interesting diet choice..

I find they’re hard to eat.

Instructions unclear; shit in sink.

Citrucel is also pretty great especially if metamucil gives you some gas.

If pooping was an Olympic sport, fiber would be performance enhancing.

Not entirely true. Metamucil, as it contains mostly soluble fiber, will help with regularity, but not with firmness. For firmer stools, thus "no wipe," more INsoluble fiber is the way to go.

Seconding this. It's honestly a little embarrassing how much taking solid shits improves your life. Bathroom breaks are quicker, don't stink as much, and you save a fortune on toilet paper. My diet has since improved to the point where I don't need it, but I still keep a couple tubs of it in the pantry just in case.

I think you missed the point.

"No wipe poops" doesn't mean you never wipe again. It means poop that leaves behind insignificant residue.

I periodicity have these, and it's a joy. There's definitely a dietary aspect to it, and moving that direction seems to be the point here.

You lost me at 3 ngl.

You don't need to wax your ass if you produce teflon grade poops as asked in this thread. I found out week long feats of uninterrupted veganism helped, so i'd argue balancing fibre intake is key. But i'm not doctor, just like the person i just replyed to.

Why no spicy food?

Taco Bell takes issue with like half of these.

Only thing id add is staying properly hydrated

It sounds like you may have a a slight case of steattorhea? Do these otter poops float as well?

Because if so, it might be some slight absorption issue. I seem to have one, my poops being very much like you describe. Both, at times.

But when I went on an exclusion diet and then added things back in I realised I apparently have a slight gluten sensitivity. Leaving out gluten and dairy completely made an insane change. Even when I would eat greasy chicken wings, I wouldn't get dem greasy otter poops. Just like, more regular poops, despite what I ate.

I'm not saying you have the same thing, just saying I had that.

Related though, there is I believe like an over-the-counter supplement that's enzymes which help with the absorption / break down of the food, because greasy stools can be a result of too little of some pancreatic enzymes or something.

Am not a trained medical professional, btw, so don't take medical advice from me. But like, things to look up at least.

Those don't taste that great though, not for my daily diet anyways..

Sorry, I don't know enough vegans to sustain my diet..

/s

Ramen itself gives me the shits...

I don't think they're edible

I hear ya there. It's just those rare occasions, where you wipe once, always gotta make sure, and that first wipe shows you were already luckily clean, it just makes ya wonder..

We tried that once. Couldn't get it installed, the original plumbing lines were (and still are) too corroded together. They can't be separated where the water line to the toilet tank is, without lots of work we can't afford.

Also, I didn't ask about wiping vs bidet, I asked about a healthier/cleaner poop diet.

Pretty much illegal (or at least a grey area) in my country. No insurance will cover a bathroom flood issue even if bidet was installed by a licenced pro.

Why?