Until very recently, Karyann Parkinson lived in leafy Williamsburg, Virginia. She and her husband, Dallin, moved there from Utah so Parkinson could attend William and Mary Law School.

In June, when Parkinson was preparing for the bar—and also happened to be eight months pregnant with her fifth child—she and her then-youngest, Sam, went for a bike ride, as they often do. They stopped for her son's favorite activity: collecting goose feathers from the path near their community pond. When they got home, he asked if he could walk back and get some more.

Parkinson said yes. It's a short walk, along a sidewalk separated from the street by 10 feet of grass. Sam would have to cross two streets with crosswalks, which she'd seen him do safely hundreds of times—including six times that morning, she says. Off he went while she made lunch.

A passerby saw Sam and alerted security. One of the community's security guards escorted the boy back and gave Parkinson an earful. Pretty soon there were three cop cars, just as many cops, a security vehicle, and two Child Protective Services (CPS) workers at Parkinson's door.

CPS ended up investigating her for abuse and neglect.

The cops, meanwhile, charged her with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. CPS found the allegations substantiated and placed Parkinson on the state's child abuse and neglect registry. She will remain there for seven years.

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[–] 31 points 2 months ago

This so fucking dumb! She did nothing wrong and bullshit. Makes me so angry. Growing up being able to go wherever and raising my kids this way. Bullshit they now traumatized that child and now this woman will always have CPS on her ass for life.

Keep in mind once they are on you they never truly go away.

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  • [–] 62 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    We have become much dumber in the quest to make life for children safer. I grew up in a city with 1.5M people. When I was six, I was driving around alone on my bike, visiting playgrounds and friends. What the mum did was perfectly reasonable and the response was insane.

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  • [–] [S] 51 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    And people act all confused as to why children don't play outside as often. Because people call the fucking cops on mothers.

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  • [–] 23 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    A few years ago there was a huge outcry because a mother let her 8 year old son ride the NYC subway alone. So crazy.

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  • [–] 30 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    It's all about control. Anyone with even a scrap of dubious authority wants to control people, and everybody up the ladder piles on to whichever victim is found.

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  • [–] 29 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    How is a kid ever supposed to grow and learn and gain confidence to navigate the world when their community is so anxious they wont even let you cross the street. If anxiety becomes the principal guiding emotion for raising children, we are going to produce adults with terrible anxiety disorders who never learned to embrace complexity or uncertainty.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago*

    I saw this play out with the family that used to live across the street from us. In the 90s, helicopter parenting was a new, shameful thing - and this family was all-in on it. There was only one house between theirs and the bus stop on the corner, yet the mom would drive her kids there and have them sit in the car with her instead of standing outside like the rest of us.

    They never took walks or rode bikes around the neighborhood. They never went to the playground alone, even though it was literally at the end of our street.

    My family had much more freedom - one of my older brothers was so comfortable with his surroundings that he even drew a map of our neighborhood from memory. I remember using that map when I first started riding my bike alone. We developed strong senses of direction that continue to benefit us today.

    Anyway, one day the oldest kid was playing with my brothers. As a group, they decided to go to the playground. When it was time to go home, my brothers decided to take the long way around the block (instead of the straight way down our street.) They were almost home, only maybe 500 feet (about 150 meters) from the same bus stop corner I mentioned earlier, when this kid started flipping out, bawling his eyes out that they "were lost." The kid was so sheltered, he couldn't recognize the bus stop he'd been waiting at every school day for years by that point, just because they approached it from a different direction.

    Nowadays, that kid's an adult who only ever leaves home for work. He's around 35 years old, and both him and his younger brother still live with their parents and isolate themselves. Ever since Covid, they do Halloween by setting up a candy chute through a window on their door so they don't have to open it and interact with anyone. It made sense in 2020, now it's just another way for them to avoid interacting with the rest of the world.

    I wish I could say I was surprised, but really I'm just sad for them.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago

    ...going to produce adults with terrible anxiety disorders?! I think that ship has sailed.

    Thankfully in reasonable places there's help for that. It would be nice if we could stop passing out abuse and enhancing it in our kids though. Those of you that have kids anyways.

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  • [–] 51 points 2 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

    The same people calling the cops in these situations also tend to be the ones saying "wHy DoN't KiDs PlAy OuTsIdE aNyMoRe!!!!1!" as if it's the kids' own moral failing.

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  • [–] 20 points 2 months ago

    Fuck, why don't they have this kind of energy when thy get reports of kids in genuinely horrific conditions.

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  • [–] 19 points 2 months ago

    I think it's important to note that this happened inside their gated community

    like, exactly where it is most unassailable, wtf is even the point of the gated community if you can't let your kid out of sight

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  • [–] 15 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    I have often said Virginia is the "no fun" state for multiple reasons. This one will go to the top of the list. JFC.

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  • [–] -3 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Headline is confusing. Mother is from Virginia, event occurred in Utah.

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  • [–] 14 points 2 months ago

    My kids, up until 2019, had to walk or bike their way to school every day. Sometimes up to 10 miles. If they had trouble they could use their flip phones to call me.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago

    Fear is a strong tool to control people. If she won't fear the community, she will fear the state.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    That story was so wild I had to check what instance this is and have a look at the sidebar… damn.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    I used to walk to the bus stop all by myself in 2nd - 4th grade. We didn't live in a gated community. This was like 1998. The modern child is too coddled /s

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Would this be unusual or even news if this wasn't a white child and mother?

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    What the fuck‽

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    There was an article recently about a mother who often let her kid do this same thing, and she'd had a few people reporting her. The police always just said "yeah, there's nothing wrong here, that person was paranoid." I hope it's not the same mother.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Meanwhile if she had killed her kids...

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    CPS and the police did investigate Lyndsey Clancy considering she's currently on trial. These authorities are using the same level of scrutiny and prosecution against this mother as they did Clancy which is clearly too much.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    I'm just imagining all those people who would have seen all the documentaries about Japan and how they let little kids go to the shops alone but because there is an entire culture of everybody looking out, it's quite safe... Then they try that in their US neighborhood and blam! Prison! If that's not a sign that y'all are insane, I don't know what you need :/

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    When I was 5 years old, I would walk through a underpass to the store, buy candy with exact change, cross the highway using another underpass, and go visit a girl. My parents never freaked out. I'm in my 50s now.

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  • [–] -5 points 2 months ago (49 children)

    while i do think the response was overkill, i dont think a five year old should be unsupervised around bodies of water. it takes 5 minutes to drown, and accidents happen.

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  • [–] [S] 20 points 2 months ago (48 children)

    Sure but that's the level of risk this mother was comfortable with for her son in this situation. Each child is different and some you can trust more than others.

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  • [+] -7 points 2 months ago (46 children)

    At some point it becomes less about her risk tolerance and more about what we (society) deem too risky. I don’t think it’s appropriate to let a five year old around a body of water unsupervised.

    Now, it seems like what she was charged with had nothing to do with that, and obscenely charging her for letting him walk a short distance unsupervised was overkill and I don’t support it. But a consequence of letting him around a pond unsupervised was warranted.

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  • [–] [S] 15 points 2 months ago (34 children)

    Virginia has a Reasonable Childhood Independence law

    The child welfare law defines physical neglect as including lack of supervision. Va. Code Ann. § 18.2-371.1; Va. Code Ann. § 63.2-100 except that, through adoption of SB 1367 clearly now spells out, through an amendment to 63.2-100 that “ No child whose parent or other person responsible for his care allows the child to engage in independent activities without adult supervision shall for that reason alone be considered to be an abused or neglected child, provided that (a) such independent activities are appropriate based on the child’s age, maturity, and physical and mental abilities and (b) such lack of supervision does not constitute conduct that is so grossly negligent as to endanger the health or safety of the child. Such independent activities include traveling to or from school or nearby locations by bicycle or on foot, playing outdoors, or remaining at home for a reasonable period of time.

    The requirement that activities are allowed unless ”so grossly negligent” as to endanger a child’s health or safety is a strong protection for children’s independence and the ability of parents to allow independence for their children.

    It seems that traveling to or from nearby locations by bicycle or on foot is clearly defined as not negligent.

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  • [–] -5 points 2 months ago (33 children)

    I like how “reasonable” is in the name of the law, and I think that walking to and from a park is reasonable.

    It’s the part about there being a pond that’s less-so.

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  • [–] [S] 9 points 2 months ago (32 children)

    Again, it comes down to how mature the child is and who do you think is the most qualified person to determine how mature a child is for handling a walk on their own?

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  • [–] -5 points 2 months ago (31 children)

    I think you’re missing my point. It’s not the walk I object to, it’s the lake.

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  • [–] [S] 11 points 2 months ago (29 children)

    And you're missing my point. This mother felt comfortable with her son walking back to pick up goose feathers.

    Why do you think you know better about what this boy can handle than his own mother?

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  • [–] -4 points 2 months ago (8 children)

    some parents are comfortable with exposing their child to drugs, too. i dont think thats a metric you should rely on.

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  • [–] [S] 5 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    Wow, you escalated this from a boy taking a walk in his own neighborhood to being exposed to drugs.

    Clutch your pearls harder, why don't you?

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  • [+] 0 points 2 months ago* (6 children)
  • [–] [S] 4 points 2 months ago* (5 children)

    I'm sorry for what you've had to deal with, but this is not what we're talking about here. THIS mom did not shoot a dog in front of her child, THIS mom did not rape her son, THIS mom isn't pushing drugs on her kids.

    also i hope you dont have a child, it sounds like you’d let them hang out near ponds without supervision, which is wildly irresponsible at best.

    This is rude as fuck.

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  • [+] -2 points 2 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] [S] 2 points 2 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] -3 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    no, i believe you are arguing in bad faith, on the side of parental neglect. if you had read my original comment, i said i didnt think she should have gotten this response from letting her kid walk the neighborhood. i had a specific issue with letting him be unsupervised near a pond.

    first your argument was that parents should let their kids walk the neighborhoods. when i pointed out that that's not the real issue, you say parents know whats best for their kids. when i supplied evidence to the contrary, you brought it around to walking the neighborhood again.

    are...are you okay?

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    We're talking about a specific case here and you've already devolved into calling me a jackass and hoping I didn't have kids.

    Are you okay?

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago*

    They're what we call in Spanish a nested egg or a broken egg, depending on their background.

    Nested egg for the ones who's parents hovered them so intensely they never hatched and are still an egg, never maturing and learning risks.

    A broken egg for the ones who saw way too much trauma way too young and it broke them, so they also never got to mature.

    But both will think a nearby pond is deadly, because they never had a parent teach them that ponds are dangerous so stay away until you're older.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago

    I had a park with a pond right in my childhood neighborhood, off my street, that was one of the main places I used to play (unsupervised), and I don't know of anyone who drowned. Because it's a pond, and there was also never some strange mystical gust of wind that blew me into it.

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  • [–] -5 points 2 months ago* (19 children)

    Why do you keep ignoring the part about the drowning threat? That's the only thing I object to. The walk by itself I take no issue with.

    I'm not missing your point; I agree with you that parents should have latitude- perhaps even wide latitude- in determining what's best. But we (society) also recognize there's a limit to that. We ensure children receive enough nutrition and health care to keep them healthy and alive, regardless of the parents opinions. Parents can't opt out of education, or of child safety seats in cars. Parents get a lot of say, but there's a certain threshold we make sure they meet.

    Keeping an unsupervised five year old away from a body of water is above that line. There's not a five year old alive who's safe next to a body of water unsupervised.

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  • [–] [S] 10 points 2 months ago* (6 children)

    I think you've made a lot of assumptions about how close that pond was and you're ignoring that the pond wasn't a stated factor at all in this case. For the record, I agree with you about water safety wholeheartedly. I live in an area with a lot of water and a lot of accidental deaths due to that. It's tragic.

    This five year old was fine by the pond. This mother was unfairly prosecuted. That's all I'm saying with this post.

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  • [+] -7 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    You’re right, I’m making an assumption about the proximity of the pond. But because the story states it’s “near the community pond” and that it’s close enough to have goose feathers, I’m comfortable with that assumption.

    a lot of accidental deaths due to that. It's tragic.

    This five year old was fine by the pond.

    Those two statements do not reconcile. An unsupervised five year old is NOT EVER “fine” near a body of water.

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    The statement that this five year old was fine by that pond is referencing this specific instance. The kid was fine.

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  • [–] -5 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Was this a five year old Kal-El and this was Smallville? Was this child incapable of drowning?

    Yes, this kid was fine. Maybe he is fine because busy body security guard intervened before he chased a goose into the pond. We’ll never know, which is why the mother is charged with negligence and not something more serious.

    I hear what you’re saying that there are too many busy bodies out there being nosy and not letting kids be kids and parents be parents. I agree with that statement.

    This isn’t a good example of that.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Damn, you must have been one really dumb 5 year old.

    I'm guessing you're also one of those people that can't remember much of when they were young, too.

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  • [–] -3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Have you been around five year olds? They don't yet have the skills to be safe around a body of water unsupervised. It's why people put fences around their pools.

    Seriously, you people should not be trusted with children if you think an unsupervised five year old is safe around a body of water.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

    Well, way to prove what I said 🤣

    Just because you were a little slower than your peers at learning something, doesn't mean most are.

    "Have you been around five year olds?" Nah man, I just hatched out of an egg already six years old 🙄 just imagined all the cousins I took care of growing up too.

    Edit: also want to address a pool isn't the same as a man-made pond. One has a steep immediate drop, the other is muddy and shallow as it slowly gets deeper. That's why a pool is more dangerous than a pond.

    The other reason they're fenced is because actual toddlers might wander into a pool. Just because you might've been breast fed at 5 still doesn't mean a 5 year old is a toddler.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago (11 children)

    Nobody is ignoring it we're telling you mom knows best and who are you to tell a mom her kid shouldn't be allowed near a pond??

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  • [–] -3 points 2 months ago* (10 children)

    If mom is allowing five year old unsupervised near a pond she’s objectively wrong and does deserve a neglect charge.

    We can have that argument about an older kid, but not five years old.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    who are you to tell a mom her kid shouldn’t be allowed near a pond??

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  • [–] -1 points 2 months ago* (2 children)

    Near a pond unsupervised.

    If you saw someone driving a pickup truck with a five year old in the back unrestrained, would you not object?

    Who are you to tell a parent they can't let their five year old ride in the back of a truck unrestrained? /s

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (1 child)

    Those are two totally different things, idk im not a parent but seems like you're in the minority here.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    Downvotes only suggest a poor sample size. I suspect most down voters aren’t parents either, because no one displaying good parenting skills would allow a child that young to be by a body of water unattended. Nor would they have their child in a car inadequately restrained.

    It’s parenting 101, and the lack of it here disturbs me.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 2 months ago (5 children)

    does deserve a neglect charge.

    There it is.

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  • [–] -2 points 2 months ago* (4 children)

    And? She does deserve it.

    And it's not just me who thinks so, it's the professionals at child protective services who had all the information and chose to charge her.

    Listen, it seems like you don't like the coddling of children and not letting kids be kids. I almost entirely agree with you. But an unsupervised five year old near a body of water is not an example of that.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Earlier you tried couching your comments with saying you didn’t think she deserved to be prosecuted. Now here you are walking it back.

    We’ve already gone over this extensively. You’re overblowing the pond’s dangers in this story. And now it seems like you’re doing it to bash parents.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 months ago* (2 children)

    I don't think she deserves to be charged for letting him walk to a park a short distance away (which was the point of the original comment to which I replied.) I personally wouldn't have allowed my child at five to walk unsupervised across two cross streets, but I recognize children are different and I'm not aware of the specifics of the neighborhood. I do not judge the parent for this.

    But the moment it became apparent there was a pond at the park, it's a different ballgame. I'm not overblowing the danger of a pond to an unsupervised five year old, you're dramatically underplaying it. And nowhere did I bash the parents, I only agreed with the assessment of child protective services that charges were appropriate.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    I would trust my 3 yr old to walk near a pond unsupervised. Think he probably has more brains than you though. Its about the individual person. If they have shown a record of being cautious and independent then you trust them. Only non parents or control freaks pop off like you are in this thread.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

    That is an extremely bad parenting decision. Like, take-your-kid-away, bad decision.

    Only non parents or control freaks pop off like you are in this thread.

    Parent to a tween. And most certainly not a control freak. He's been going to the corner park (about a quarter mile away) by himself since he was six or seven, and staying home alone for several hours since about that time too. I'm in agreement that there can be too much helicopter parenting out there, but man do we disagree what constitutes helicoptering.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 months ago (8 children)

    You understand that kids are different from each other and some develop skills earlier than others, right?

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  • [–] -2 points 2 months ago (7 children)

    there are laws around private pool ownership like fencing it in, BECAUSE young children are at heightened risk of drowning. 5 year olds are NOT capable of being around bodies of water safely without adult supervision. i dont know why this is so controversial. kids drown every day, especially kids this young who have very little common sense or sense of danger.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    I'm from an island and my mother was a lifeguard, I could swim as soon as I could walk. My mom got shit for not watching me at the community pool after we moved to the mainland. Meanwhile back home tourists would let their kids play in the ocean with no concept of a rip tide. But hey, at least they were watching them real close, right?

    It's controversial because every child and situation is different. Parents shouldn't be punished for taking necessary risks to help their kids achieve independence just because society gets anxious. It's controversial because society is especially critical of mothers.

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  • [–] -3 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    it is a good thing that the community was looking out for your safety. it doesnt matter how well you can swim, if you slip and hit your head, your ability to swim becomes meaningless. children do dumb stuff all the time, there are reasons for the concern

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  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Yes, anything can happen at any time. I could trip and hit my head anywhere, still. I could have a stroke. I could have gotten hit by a car on my way to school, which is the far more likely thing.

    Sooner or later you gotta be comfortable with leaving the nest, and an anxious society raises anxious children who can't function as adults.

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  • [+] -9 points 2 months ago* (2 children)

    correct, but in those situations you arent at risk of slipping under the water while unconscious. we are talking about mitigating risks to children, not eliminating them.

    don't forget we are talking about a child who is barely out of toddlerhood.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 months ago

    I guess you know better than a mother from an island who was a literal lifeguard, hey?

    You could read the article to find out about this woman's credentials as well. If you still think you know better than both, then you have a very odd fixation with water. Or, an unfair opinion of your own child-rearing skills over others.

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  • [+] -10 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    CDC drowning data of children since mods decided to remove my comments arguing against letting children walk around ponds without supervision. smh.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

    What are you talking about? I haven't moderated anything in this thread.

    Edit: Well now I am because you called someone a jackass. Enjoy your temp ban.

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