Until very recently, Karyann Parkinson lived in leafy Williamsburg, Virginia. She and her husband, Dallin, moved there from Utah so Parkinson could attend William and Mary Law School.

In June, when Parkinson was preparing for the bar—and also happened to be eight months pregnant with her fifth child—she and her then-youngest, Sam, went for a bike ride, as they often do. They stopped for her son's favorite activity: collecting goose feathers from the path near their community pond. When they got home, he asked if he could walk back and get some more.

Parkinson said yes. It's a short walk, along a sidewalk separated from the street by 10 feet of grass. Sam would have to cross two streets with crosswalks, which she'd seen him do safely hundreds of times—including six times that morning, she says. Off he went while she made lunch.

A passerby saw Sam and alerted security. One of the community's security guards escorted the boy back and gave Parkinson an earful. Pretty soon there were three cop cars, just as many cops, a security vehicle, and two Child Protective Services (CPS) workers at Parkinson's door.

CPS ended up investigating her for abuse and neglect.

The cops, meanwhile, charged her with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. CPS found the allegations substantiated and placed Parkinson on the state's child abuse and neglect registry. She will remain there for seven years.

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[–] 29 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How is a kid ever supposed to grow and learn and gain confidence to navigate the world when their community is so anxious they wont even let you cross the street. If anxiety becomes the principal guiding emotion for raising children, we are going to produce adults with terrible anxiety disorders who never learned to embrace complexity or uncertainty.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago*

    I saw this play out with the family that used to live across the street from us. In the 90s, helicopter parenting was a new, shameful thing - and this family was all-in on it. There was only one house between theirs and the bus stop on the corner, yet the mom would drive her kids there and have them sit in the car with her instead of standing outside like the rest of us.

    They never took walks or rode bikes around the neighborhood. They never went to the playground alone, even though it was literally at the end of our street.

    My family had much more freedom - one of my older brothers was so comfortable with his surroundings that he even drew a map of our neighborhood from memory. I remember using that map when I first started riding my bike alone. We developed strong senses of direction that continue to benefit us today.

    Anyway, one day the oldest kid was playing with my brothers. As a group, they decided to go to the playground. When it was time to go home, my brothers decided to take the long way around the block (instead of the straight way down our street.) They were almost home, only maybe 500 feet (about 150 meters) from the same bus stop corner I mentioned earlier, when this kid started flipping out, bawling his eyes out that they "were lost." The kid was so sheltered, he couldn't recognize the bus stop he'd been waiting at every school day for years by that point, just because they approached it from a different direction.

    Nowadays, that kid's an adult who only ever leaves home for work. He's around 35 years old, and both him and his younger brother still live with their parents and isolate themselves. Ever since Covid, they do Halloween by setting up a candy chute through a window on their door so they don't have to open it and interact with anyone. It made sense in 2020, now it's just another way for them to avoid interacting with the rest of the world.

    I wish I could say I was surprised, but really I'm just sad for them.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago

    ...going to produce adults with terrible anxiety disorders?! I think that ship has sailed.

    Thankfully in reasonable places there's help for that. It would be nice if we could stop passing out abuse and enhancing it in our kids though. Those of you that have kids anyways.

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