While I agree that it's lost a lot of its power. Social pressure is still good at making people uncomfortable in the current setting. And can pressure them into leaving or avoiding that situation in the future.

Tbh, anyone who voted for him a second time is equally as bad. They saw the first round and weren't mortified.

Yeah, like talk to them. Which is in OP's main point.

Many people are terrified of being uncomfortable and confrontation

Certain members of my family would come after me for "causing trouble" if I called someone out like that. They'd be like "you should really deal with that sort of thing privately. Like yes he was in the wrong but you could've handled that better." Luckily, the rest of my family would then go after those certain family members for saying that

Point is, a lot of people were raised with tbe mentality that they need to preserve the family dignity and image and calling out someone for doing something objectively wrong is worse bc it calls even more attention to it. Getting out of that mentality is difficult. Still fucked up tho

Edit for clarity

I used to work with a married guy who brought his girlfriend to company parties. He was so open about it, I wondered if his wife knew and was okay with it.

'Murica

They would still have their manosphere podcasts

i'd hope you don't get downvoted for pointing out the obvious.

people seem to think the internet is real life and forget that 'progressive social media posters' probably make up 1% of the population and then never leave the house on top of that. in real life, i've met more rabid skunks that quote oscar wilde.

Normalize not using normalize

Normalize having a vocabulary. Not every Internet post needs to follow an established language pattern

I think when they say "normalize" they actually mean enwhiten.

And isn't the entire internet just a giant indifferent shaming machine now? Like I get the desire to right wrongs and whatnot but it's not like the general consensus around cheating or being a deadbeat is positive.

"side piece" being problematic in itself, there are many who would use this wrongly.

A family who sees someone with a partner they don't approve of, the extremely religious not accepting divorce/remarriage etc

Shame was from the beginning of man kind one of the most powerful tools of the community/ society to hedge in antisocial behaviors.

This being said there first needs to be sentient consensus on what is anti social behavior shared within the affected community... and that's what we're apparently lacking currently. Robbing millions of americans of the means to life peaceful and fullfilling lives and raping kids seems to acceptable to at least a third of the population.

It's a correct take if you have an audience of strangers though. So it's not that bad when it comes from a social media post like this.

Calling out behavior is better at shaping a community than moderation behind closed doors

Exactly. Ethics can differ. Of course you can say something privately if there is a real problem, but this is some 1950s bullshit I don't want to go back to

Both is good. If you’re poly, you can say that. By bringing a different date from your spouse, you are essentially outing yourself as poly already, you should expect questions if the group you’re doing this with doesn’t know, especially if it’s family you’re close to (I’m assuming they are at least in steady contact, given that they’re having family parties).

I can’t really imagine one of my siblings bringing someone other than their spouse to a family party, but I’d have some questions for sure. I also love and trust my siblings, so if they told me their relationship was open, I’d believe them and fully accept their polyamory. I’d probably be confused that they wanted to come out like that, but I wouldn’t have an issue with it. Once enough time had passed for them to be secure that I really accepted them, I’d probably ask why, but I wouldn’t be mad no matter what they said, even if they didn’t want to explain it.

If they were cheating on their spouses, I would not accept that, unless they were in a long term abusive situation and trying to escape. Otherwise, I would leave if it weren’t my house and ask them to leave if it were.

Not all ppl in an open relationship agree on what it is though. Ethical non-monogamy and cheating treat ppl very differently and I reserve my right to shame accordingly.

We can extend this out. "If it doesn't involve you, it doesn't require your approval."

"You just want an open relationship so you have an excuse to cheat!"

• person who doesn't think about things or understand them

slacktivism

I came mentally unprepared for another piece of internet lingo

Depends on context, too. Counter-point, for example: "You let your boy wear pink? He's gonna be a sissy." "You should take your kids to the church the rest of us go to." "She/he's too young/old to do ___." I could imagine a few good reasons to tell people to mind their own business.

But yeah, we've really got to look at ourselves in the mirror frequently and make sure we're not just shutting out constructive criticism. Brains adapt, and that can rationalize bad things.

Minding your own business is how the Nazis were able to murder 10+ million people.

Live and let live is not popular on Lemmy.

This is a victimizer's mentality. Abuser's rationalize their bad behavior by internalizing the idea that everyone behaviors as badly as they do, so it's only fair. Cheaters think everyone is cheating. Child abusers believe everyone is a closeted child abuser. Wallstreet bros think everyone would sell their mother for a quick buck...

Do it. Call everyone out on their bullshit. Call me out, do it.