top 100 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 105 points 3 months ago (13 children)

Not seeing the issue here. Sounds pretty wholesome to me actually! A bunch of boys hanging out. Unknowing to the horrors that adulthood brings. Soon high school will end. Soon college will start. Some of your friends will drift away. Some you won't even notice until you realize one day it's been a while since you hung out with that one guy. The one you're not best friends with, but sometimes he'd be around. Except he hasn't been around for months, and you're just now noticing. Other friends you notice right away are gone. They get accepted into a college on the other side of the country. You claim you'll keep in touch, but lets be real. You're both going to be super busy with college. You'll drift away from one of your best friends over the next few years. It's neither of your faults really. That's just how life is. You spent your whole life with this guy since you were 5 years old, and now as you transition into adulthood you become strangers. Then one day you wake up, and realize you haven't seen any of those friends in 20 years. All you do is work six days a week, and run errands on the 7th so you have enough supplies to handle the upcoming week. Now even the burnt out face in the mirror looks like a stranger.

But at least they'll have the wholesome memories of being in a costco as teens and eating chicken together. Before it all fell apart.

  • source
  • hideshow 13 child comments
  • [–] 25 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    this hurt to read. i hate how well it captures that feeling. why the hell is adulthood like this? we grind people into paste and don’t even realise how much we have lost of what they could have been. sigh.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 20 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    Goddammit, fine. I will go to the next reunion, and I will bring chicken for the lads, for old time's sake.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 9 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    And maybe some pot? Remember when we were kids, and smoking in the ally, and saying how weed will never be legal in our lifetimes? Welp. It's legal. In our lifetimes.

    Hey, wanna play this disc of MP3s I burned onto a CD? It's got Oasis, and Sublime in there somewhere.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago

    You're absolutely right, but I am already absolutely in awe of them actually eating chicken and not just staring at their phones without interacting. At least that's my assumption because trying to devour a rotisserie chicken with one hand while holding your phone in the other seems like a challenge.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 4 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    Sounds pretty wholesome to me actually!

    Unless you're OP

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 26 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    I can have trouble assessing tone sometimes so I might be way off, but the OOP seemed more amused than upset to me, maybe?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 51 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    Teen boys are eating machines. I remember when my kids were teens and a bunch of boys came to the house. It was like a plague of locusts. They pretty much emptied the fridge. I still fondly recall pulling out a pickle jar they had eaten all of the pickles out of, leaving just the brine.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 20 points 3 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 48 points 3 months ago

    Well, eating one chicken does count as eating a whole food.

  • source
  • [–] 37 points 3 months ago

    You can each have one rotisserie chicken, as a treat.

  • source
  • [–] 35 points 3 months ago

    When I was fifteen, I could totally eat an entire rotisserie chicken in a single sitting. I was also gaining height by inches at a time.

  • source
  • [–] 29 points 3 months ago (15 children)

    In high school my one friend had a big trench coat, and we would use it to sneak rotisserie chickens into the movie theater.

  • source
  • hideshow 15 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    I've worked at several theaters in my life, always amazed by what gets snuck into theaters, ive even seen big family buckets of KFC

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    Were you one of the cool ones? One time I went in with my small backpack bursting with Taco Bell. The door guy asked to check my bag, took a peek, looked at me disappointingly, then shrugged and let me in anyway haha

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    Oh yeah fer sure, I probably woulda said just dont make a mess

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 9 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    Imagine like four or five of us sitting in the front row of a crowded theater, chowing down on rotisserie chickens with our bare hands.

    In retrospect I feel so bad for the people sitting near us 😂

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 18 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Little fellas probably getting into gym culture

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 15 points 3 months ago

    Yeah, when I was going through puberty, the family was going through a burlap sack of rice every month.

  • source
  • [–] 15 points 3 months ago

    Average 15 year old behavior.

  • source
  • [–] 15 points 3 months ago (9 children)

    As a active teen and even into my 20s I could eat two medium all-dressed pizzas, I'd fold them in half to eat them faster, then go biking for a few hours, then shit out a Douglas fir that evening.

  • source
  • hideshow 9 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 3 months ago (5 children)

    Ok....what's an all dressed pizza? I've had the fries.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] -3 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    AI Overview An all-dressed pizza (or toute garnie) in Canada—specifically in Quebec and Montreal—is a traditional pie topped with tomato sauce, mild pork pepperoni, sliced green peppers, fresh mushrooms, and mozzarella cheese.

    I suppose it's a historical holdover name.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    So, a deluxe pizza in Ontario, or it is sometimes called a supreme.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    I guess? It's one of those things I don't think about, sort of like dejeuner means breakfast in Quebec but lunch in France...

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago*

    A two-pizza night once a week was pretty common before I got my driver's licence. I used to ride a BMX everywhere, inc to work each day, maybe 30km a day in commutes.

    But I'd eat like a crocodile. Huge meal once or twice a week, then almost nothing the rest of the days.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 14 points 3 months ago (13 children)

    Damn... how much was that chicken in Whole Foods?

  • source
  • hideshow 13 child comments
  • [–] 18 points 3 months ago (12 children)

    They are about $8 for roughly 2 lbs at about 1000 calories a lb if you eat the skin and all the meat.

    That would be completely reasonable as a large meal as it is about half the daily calories for an average sized male teenager, especially if they are very active.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 12 child comments
  • [–] 9 points 3 months ago (9 children)

    Am I misreading your comment, or are you saying an average male teen needs 4000 calories a day?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 9 child comments
  • [–] 18 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    If they are active then yeah, 4000 calories is not at all unusual as a teen.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago

    Yeah, pretty much.

    I remember eating 4000 to 6000 calories a day in high school. I could put away two double whopper meals - large fries, large coke - in a sitting.

    Or a 16" pizza, with plenty of room for Jo-jos.

    Or 4 big plates of spaghetti, with half a loaf of garlic bread, and salad until there was no more salad to be had.

    I was scrawny. Too scrawny for high school sports. 5'9", but I didn't break 100lbs until my senior year.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 13 points 3 months ago

    At the Whole Foods, cracking open a hot one with the boys.

  • source
  • [–] 11 points 3 months ago

    Being a teenage boy is hungry work.

  • source
  • [–] 10 points 3 months ago (6 children)

    You will never know the hunger of a 15 year old boy unless you were one

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    I once shared a house with a teen male and an early 20's man. Absolute food hoovers.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

    I could have eaten one as a fifteen year old girl but I attribute that to my parents heavy encouragement of sports and lack of body shaming compared to other families.

    I'm taller than all of my siblings that were born male which I attribute to my last place in the birth order when my family was no longer food insecure and my mother had time to give me a child's multivitamin daily.

    As a result I've come to the conclusion that at least some of the wide difference between the average male and female body height and mass is actually child gender favoritism and body shaming (not that guys don't get weight shamed, but that's not usually regardless of muscle mass) resulting in nutritional deficiencies.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago*

    This wouldn't surprise me at all, tbh. My uncle (first son) is way taller than my dad (second son) because back in the day my family didn't have much money, and they prioritized feeding the oldest son. Same genetics, different childhood diet. Uncle is like 6'2", my dad is like 5'6". If there had been a girl sibling involved, she probably would have gotten even less food.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 10 points 3 months ago

    Fake.

    If this was real, they would also have had a loaf of bread each. Hard to miss 15 loaves of bread.

  • source
  • [–] 19 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    In my day it was onions. We wore them on our belts

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 16 points 3 months ago (10 children)

    Shit man one upon a time those chicken's were like $5 a pop. Cheapest and fastest way of getting a ton of protein in by far. Now not so much. The last time I bought one I think it was double that in price. This is why we can't have nice things. Companies gotta get greedy.

  • source
  • hideshow 10 child comments
  • [–] 13 points 3 months ago* (6 children)

    While I don't disagree on companies (having always been) getting greedy, getting a whole cooked chicken for 5 bucks is only possible through industrial factory farming of livestock with horrible animal cruelty. Try raising, slaughtering, plucking, gutting and cooking a chicken for that average price without basically creating a torture concentration camp for chicken.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    I wonder if we'll ever be able to solve the animal cruelty problem through brute force technology. For example, genetically engineer chickens so they simply never grow a brain. Raise the brainless bodies hooked up to an intravenous feeding system. Could cram more of them in a smaller space that way too. Can't be cruel to a thing that isn't conscious in the first place. Sort of a poor man's lab-grown-meat approach.

    Amusingly, most people would probably find this a lot more horrifying than factory farms, even though objectively the animals would experience absolutely no suffering whatsoever, as they wouldn't even have the minds to comprehend anything about themselves or their environment.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Honestly I am a bigger fan of vegetarian (vegan) meat supplements. I don't mind if chemistry gets involved as long as supervision is adequate. In the end, livestock is just a biological "factory" that turns vegetables/grains/grass into tasty meat. No reason that can't be done without the detour via the living being.

    Not everyone's cup of tea but I was always a huge meat lover and for ~15 years I have committed to only eat meat when I really really want to & focus on quality then. And those times have become less and less, and I can absolutely live with the veggie options.

    But I think food chemistry can go a long way and potentially produce artificial meat as well.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago

    Hell yeah, get me some Chicken Little

    Scum-skimming wasn't hard to learn. You got up at dawn. You gulped a breakfast sliced not long ago from Chicken Little and washed it down with Coffiest. You put on your coveralls and took the cargo net up to your tier. In blazing noon from sunrise to sunset you walked your acres of shallow tanks crusted with algae. If you walked slowly, every thirty seconds or so you spotted a patch at maturity, bursting with yummy carbohydrates. You skimmed the patch with your skimmer and slung it down the well, where it would be baled, or processed into glucose to feed Chicken Little, who would be sliced and packed to feed people from Baffinland to Little America.

    "The Space Merchants," Frederik Pohl, good read

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago

    As someone who has backyard chickens and has tried raising meat chickens, they are pretty close with the current ones. Regular egg laying chickens don't have a lot going on upstairs but you can still see them finding (relatively) creative ways to scavenge food and stay safe. Meat chickens just stand there. They can barely move or react to anything. One step above catatonic. They were treated well and given good living situations, but I had to put them out of their misery because they would overeat and had leg problems. It was spooky and sad at the same time.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago (1 child)

    And even then, the stores have always been selling rotisserie chickens at a loss to get people in the door.

    https://www.seriouseats.com/why-rotisserie-chicken-is-so-cheap-11920596

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 8 points 3 months ago

    The one time in history a bunch of 15yr olds bag a bunch of chicks and it really happened.

  • source
  • [–] 7 points 3 months ago

    Probably football players. It’s almost hell week

  • source
  • [–] 6 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    Is this a commentary on how much food a 15 year old can eat or on shrinkflation. :)

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 3 months ago* (2 children)

    I don't know about these kids, but among my teenage friend group, we would have had to pool our money to afford one rotisserie chicken. Maybe two if we were rolling in it.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 3 months ago

    Living like kings.

  • source
  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago

    At that age I would have had one if those and asked for seconds.

  • source
  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago

    One of them should try the costco chickens.

  • source
  • [–] 4 points 3 months ago

    The real teenage behavior starts when you figure out if they all planned to take a shit in the woods to see how big they can make the pile. Or if they didn't do that, they come back and start recounting how they destroyed their toilets and made Mom and Pop angry.

  • source
  • [–] 4 points 3 months ago

    That actually sounds pretty good right now, Ihaven't eaten anything but a banana today.

    It's the little things

  • source
  • load more comments
    view more: next ›