When Anon breaks up with her they will claim he was a demon sent to test their faith.

There's only one way: Anon should simulate fainting like the mom and then explain that god told them they have to break up.

As someone who grew up in a conservative, Baptist home, I can tell you that this 100% isn't the most insane thing I've heard or seen, but it falls right in line.

I'd probably talk to the girl and see if she holds the same beliefs. She's Christian, yes, but there are plenty of people raised in such families that use the term out of familiarity, but don't share the extreme views of their parents.

Though with that said, even if the girl isn't off the deep end, I'd understand that having her parents as potential in-laws could be a bridge too far.

I remember playing this 3 day LARP, the kind with pre-written in-depth characters and story that is played over 3 days strait in characeter, in Wierd Wild West setting, where I played a Trapper that was about to marry someone from the local village, my family was married into but my parents died shortly after.

It eventually turned out that the whole village is a cult that eats people to keep some kind of evil imprisoned, and my fiance's family is the one spiritually leading it, and I still can't forget the nights spent trying to reasonably argue and discuss with my fiance that it's definitely not ok and we should just leave.

I obviously never had to have discussions like this in real life, but it was pretty interesting how extremely futile it is. They have so many arguments you can't say anything against. Once they start with "But this is our purpose given to us by God, if we don't do this the whole world will end", or "It was God's will, you will understand soon", you really don't have much to say to that to get through.

Of course, it was just a LARP and she played her character well, but now I can pretty vividly imagine that talking to someone who's so much into anything like that is extremely difficult, to the point of being futile.

(I managed to convince her to leave, the winning argument was "Your grandmother tried to poison me, here is proof", lol).

"Listen, your mon had a heatstroke. This isn't a demonic attack. It's common knowledge that this happens when doing hard work in extreme heat. I can't be with someone who's family believes that demons are behind common medical conditions. In other words: your family is insane and I can't date you anymore. Bye"

Get on floor, walk the dinosaur

I was once invited to a pool party by a girl back when I was a freshman at college. When I got there they were baptizing people.

There was free food though so I stuck around.

Oddly, the two super churchy women I've "been with" ended up leaving the church afterwards. Maybe OP should do a little 🫰🤌🤏 to her 🍑 and see what happens.

Tell her you're a demon sent to attack her vagina.

Fake/gay analysis: true and straight. Source: dated religious girl who's mother was a religious lunatic. Super fucking likely to happen

I just asked if she really believes in all this. Answer was not really but you know, family ties and the community is nice.

My master, Satan, says we should have premarital sex immediately

It's a win either way

Everyone is going with the satanism or whatever non-Christian antics they are coming up with.

That's too easy.

Study some Bible verses and understand the tenents of the religion. Learn enough about the family to find something you can use. Then break up with her by saying her family are heretics and state that reason. Tell her they're all going to hell and close the door tight. Never talk to her again.

I dated a religious girl for three years. Her mom was a pastor at a small church. She was a regular practicing Christian. Definitely had some habits and customs I wasn't used to. I mostly just nodded along and was polite.

Never really caused us problems long term. We ended up breaking up after our jobs pulled us in different directions. We're still good friends and we regularly keep in touch.

Someone claiming to have a GF on 4chan - especially in 2026 - is extremely sus. Sounds fake and/or gay to me. Don't take it too seriously.

Claming demonic attacks without the popes approval? Well that's sounds like a reason for a excommunication...

She ain't a red flag she a whole chinese military parade.

"I really like you, but you and your family are religiously insane so I think we should see other people. I'm gonna try to see someone with a grip on reality, and you should try to see a professional"

Fake: Anon has gf Gay: Convoluted break-up fantasy to explain why he can't get with girls integrates his actual religious trauma from his own homophobic fundy household growing up

Anon should just tell the parable of the drowning man and then just say, that's why I'm breaking up with you.

Literally the same interaction between religion and reality as The Spirit Catches You And You Fall Down. Except without the language and cultural discontinuity.

Impossible challenge: have a greentext without it being about a 'girl'

I once managed to get heatstroke in a air-conditioned car in the middle east. May not have been demonic possession, but sure as shit felt like it xD the heat down there is metal af. Ten minutes outside is life threatening. Put some things into perspective for my Scandinavian ass.

This is not unusual in my opinion. In my childhood, I attended Catholic, Baptist, and Assembly of God churches, and this would not have raised any eyebrows. Especially with Assembly of God.

If the people only knew what they are supporting with their tax dollars (in USA, churches pay no taxes)! It's obscene and frankly ridiculous. The farther you go in the church, the crazier things are.

And make no mistake, they will kill you. The best part of adulthood for me was getting out of the church, as a kid I was horrified every day with these absolute lunatics.

Well … a lot Christians love to suffer. It’s rooted in the faith that life is suffering

"thats the devil talkin' "

Tell her because of denomination you cannot agree with her particular dogma.