Here I am going to be the distasteful contrarian progressive, but it's because I'm desperately hoping people see that the difference isn't dating.

Because yes, you are right, as a single progressive man, dating is no walk in the park. Plenty of good reasons for this on the side of women.

Are you lonely as termed by the actual problem of male loneliness? Do you have at least a couple of friends who you can get to lunch with? Do you have a brother, sister, cousin, parents, etc. nearby? Do you have someone to help you if you get sick? Do you have an active social group you feel included in?

If the answer to them is no, then yes, definitely you are in the loneliness group. Sure, dating can help with it - but what happens if/when you break up: you don't have the support there.

I'm really worried about how people are continuing to separate and blame things that aren't the root of problems on distractions.

Like I get it. I'm there. I'm divorced, I'm coming to terms that I was in a 15 year abusive relationship, I'm hurt by her cheating on me twice, I'm hurt by her rejecting my joys and attempts at connecting and reconnecting, I miss the idea of being with her. It's been over two years since I slept next to her, or anyone.

She tried to isolate me. She love bombed me. She gaslit me. She threatened me.

But I had a kid, I have my parents, my brother, several friends, a couple of regular groups I meet up with. I desperately want the love life I pretended to have. But if it weren't for that support system in place, I would have killed myself two years ago.

Instead I lost the weight that was actually killing me. I put muscle on where I've had none. There are physical features I cannot change that affect my physical attractiveness that I get that will impede my ability to date via apps.

That's how I was able to figure this all out. The fact that you are progressive means that you see the value in other people, and see the value in connection.

There has been narratives pushed for decades to try and isolate us, gaslight us, and threaten us as humans. We need to put our oxygen mask on first before helping others.

I suspect that women aren’t dating conservative men

Well, there are plenty of conservative women too, so that can't tell the whole story, can it?

Looks like conservative men and liberal women are in similar boats, statistically:

In broad terms, there are only 0.6 single liberal young men for each single liberal young woman; likewise, only 0.5 single conservative young women exist for every conservative young man. Statistically, in other words, about half of these ideologically minded young singles face the prospect of failing to find a partner who shares their politics.

This implies the liberal men are dating the conservative women, lol.

You can't put that on the women. Men have got to get their shit together. Just show a bit of empathy, bro! It's not that hard, humans are literally wired for it. It's just that capitalism is reinforcing humankind's worst impulses.

a certain number of those horrible men would turn a corner and start to act like a human

over here in Real World Land, what will happen is those women will get abused, physically and sexually

these men have a violent hatred for women. they don’t need a girlfriend, they need therapy and, failing that, a life of imprisonment far from the people they’re a danger to

BUT, exceptions also occur, woman do date horrible men, if they are horrible themselves or they make some poor choices themselves. thats why incels have no excuse there something for everyone. they are just looking in the wrong place, looking for woman in areas that are more liberal of course they will have more resistance, or they are looking for woman that are only interested income/attractiveness maybes a little harder poc-wise.

Lonely men develop more extremist views

Ah yes, the lonely man® with the agency of a fucking houseplant.

but because they would personally rather not date a horrible person.

That's not what women consider when choosing dates. Even the nicest (as a person) women.

They consider safety, reliability, how fun or not the person is, everything, but that everything is more practical than moral. Especially since evaluating someone by moral criteria from the first glance is an almost impossible task. Since women are in bigger danger from making mistakes, they usually know that.

Even when they share stupid posts from dating apps or whatever, the focus is on stupidity and awkwardness, not on someone being a douche, because honestly sex is not like other spheres of life and a woman being like "sorry, below 2 meter tall is not for me, and also I like guys with blue eyes and a car" is pretty normal, which, well, in other circumstances is being a douche.

And the proportion of good and bad people among men and women is the same, a reminder in case someone forgot this, ahem.

I don't think this has much to do with the conservative\liberal category at all.

More like vulnerable\healthy, or insecure\content. The vulnerable and insecure parts of population in our time and situation might be more likely to feel conservative, but in essence this is not important.

I mean, OK, somewhere around 50s there were plenty of stats how women actually strongly prefer conservative men, while in average more men were liberal than conservative. Today this seems to be reverted.

The ideologies are secondary, just if a man talks too much of their ideology to a potential date, they need some therapy first, and if a man can't manage some tact about their ideology when that correlates with misogyny, they are not trying hard enough to get that date, and if both are wrong but the other side wants to kill them with fire for their mind having been touched with that impure abomination of thought, then probably the other side needs some therapy. And - I know it's hard to consider, but maybe, - some people are just not meant for each other, there's that.

thats not even remotely true at all, nowhere have been telling men is at fault for why there are problems lol. thats sucha mysogynistic view of the right wingers. i suspect you are only looking from a right wing prospective, because thats how conservative see the left. but the right love to place blame ON WOMEN for not dating conservative men, and plus for rightfully accusing them of SA/ or some other form of violence.

This sounds like a misrepresentation of left wing politics.

It sounds more like how the right defines the left which brings us to the real issue.

Outrage narratives have grown increasingly popular with social media and the right spends endless time blaring sirens on representing the left a certain way.

The left has in response, done little, to influence the narrative.

I personally have not heard the left as a whole admonishing individual men simply for being men.

I think an honest assessment of society, historically and now, should lead to the conclusion that we live in a male centric society that is gradually becoming less male centric. This is a good thing if you believe in fairness and egalitarianism (ie. not fascism).

It was a little more than 50 years ago that women could not hold credit and were expected to be subservient to their husbands or else be institutionalized for "mental illness".

I think many women see this backlash / desire to go back from conservative men as a skill issue so I'm not suprised they're looking elsewhere.