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[–] 153 points 4 months ago (4 children)

They don't work together anymore. So….he has a friend?

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  • [–] 22 points 4 months ago

    Hard to tell. Sometimes the term gets used as subderfuge so the person can act on feelings they believe may be inappropriate to the relationship from lack of reciprocity, reprisal if it's against policy at work, or if it violates the terms of another romantic relationship. I don't know if it's fair to automatically call the use of the phrase dishonest, but it definitely provides harborage for those who would use it that way. If someone at work referred to me as their work spouse, I'd quickly help them find a better term as nicely as possible but without compromise on that point. I just can't see a valid, ethical reason not to let other people know where they stand with me. I mean that in the best possible way, and I don't think "work spouse" accomplishes that in a way that both defines and honors the relationship most effectively.

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  • [–] 84 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    Book the dinner. Spill the tea. Crack the plates.

    That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

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  • [–] 34 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

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  • [–] 18 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    This insult has the highest ratio of courtesy and eloquence to psychosocial damage in the history of insults.

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  • [–] 11 points 4 months ago

    I’ve never gotten it as an effective insult, tbh. It boils down to:

    I wish I knew half of you better, and I’m a crab about some of you

    No? If he doesn’t like them as well as they deserve, then the “problem” is with him, not them. It’s definitely not welcoming, but it’s not exactly insulting if I’m reading it right.

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  • [–] 219 points 4 months ago (7 children)

    Assuming he’s not cheating with her (emotionally or physically), this is called having a friend.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    "Cheating emotionally"? What is that?

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  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    like if buddy here was behaving romantically towards his 'work wife' without the consent of his actual wife.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    What does "behaving romantically" mean, though? Can they go see a movie together? People become emotionally intimate with their friends, and it seems pretty fucked up to claim that's cheating.

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  • [–] 69 points 4 months ago

    Otherwise known as "friends without benefits".

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  • [–] 130 points 4 months ago (18 children)

    The term "work wife" is so gross.

    She was a colleague, and now she's a friend. It's fine to have colleague's and friends but when you start referring to them as some kind of pseudo romantic but professional counterpart it's just weird.

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  • [–] 66 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    I just assume they are cheating on any actual spouse either one has.

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  • [–] 24 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    Yeah any time I've heard the term work wife/husband, it was implied they were hooking up.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    I’ve had a “work wife” who was a guy and later one who was a girl. I guarantee in both cases I was not hooking up with either one.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Yea every so often one of you shows up to provide cover for the cheaters.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (10 children)

    Work wife refers to more than just a colleague. Friend or bestie would fit, however. Work wife describes a particular type of friendship that is quite common for people working closely together who don't get romantic.

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  • [–] 28 points 4 months ago (8 children)

    This is an argument in semantics.

    Perhaps you define this relationship as platonic, but a non-zero portion of the public think it implies something else.

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  • [–] 15 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    You can tell by the fact that straight men never have a "work husband"

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)

    I'm a straight guy with a work husband?

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    Asked him and a few other work colleagues, but they agree work husband is accurate. Although we technically use a non-english word, work husband is the best english translation.

    Maybe it's an english speaking hangup. I say this as a person who english is thier first language.

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  • [–] 14 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I'm in the latter category. "Wife" of any kind involves close emotional connection and probably sexy times.

    You can say that a work wife doesn't include sexy times, and maybe that's true for almost everyone using the term. But close emotional connection?

    Friends are fine. Close friends even. But if you're relying on anyone besides your wife/spouse for close emotional connection/support, you're begging for trouble.

    How did your wife become your wife in the first place? Likely your emotional connection started first, then the sexual. The same thing can happen with your "work wife". It's a risk I'm not willing to take.

    Maybe none of this is true for people using the term, maybe they just mean a good friend at work who they click with and can therefore get a lot of work done efficiently together. Ok good, great even, but I recommend using a different word to describe it, because "work wife" implies something else to most people.

    Or at least that's how I feel about all that 🤷‍♂️

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago

    You’re right. I’ve seen people who use this term eventually have an affair more than not. I think people taking offense have a work spouse and know they have these feelings.

    Spouse implies sex. We aren’t being a way to assume these things.

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  • [–] 117 points 4 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 40 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

    And ... does he have a home wife? A weekend wife? A holiday wife? A doctor's waiting room wife? A golf course wife?

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  • [–] 35 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    When you get older your coworkers are work son and work daughter. I’m their work uncle.

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  • [–] 69 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    Wait until you discover the "regular wife" that keeps being your wife even outside work.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    The guy probably has a regular husband, which is why he felt comfortable posting this.

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  • [–] 33 points 4 months ago*
    [–] 30 points 4 months ago

    Isn't this just describing a "friend". Idk I have none

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  • [–] 27 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (4 children)

    Take a work wife (which is already a psychotic term), remove the "work" part, and act like you invented this new type of relationship...

    What are you even talking about!?

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  • [–] 21 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Tech morons are always acting like they've just discovered fundamental features of the human experience for the very first time.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago

    Oh it is not just tech. Sailing and ships have ship wives which usually just means taking advantage of a newer person that is scared of saying no to a higher rank.

    Everyone likes to think they are new and original and good morally while being awful.

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  • [–] 24 points 4 months ago

    My work wife was a tiny Sicilian guy named Bruno. He doesn't work for us any more, but I still miss our walks into town to get lunch.

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  • [–] 20 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

    I mean you can just call her a "very good friend"? Or "one of my best friends". I am sure this will have a positive impact on your real wive's psychology too if you are married.

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  • [–] 18 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

    The expression “Bestie” is pretty weird in Germany, as it is pronounced besty-uh and literally translates to “wild animal” or “monster”. “Larissa was a real “Bestie” in bed last night; I’m completely bruised and scratched all over. Glad I have my work wife!”

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  • [–] 15 points 4 months ago

    Absolutely detested the only place I've worked at that I ever heard this term being used

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  • [–] 30 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I'm sure his SO doesn't see her as an emotional affair threat.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    "You have a female friend? Okay, you can hang out with her. And you can have fun. But you better not be opening up and sharing any vulnerabilities with each other! And don't you dare share any warm, heartfelt moments! I'll know!"

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  • [–] 31 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    You know what, seal Hormuz up again.

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  • [–] 20 points 4 months ago

    You could not pay me enough money to admit something like this publicly, yet bro just did it for free. Lmao.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Semantics aside, I wonder how she would describe the same relationship and what prompted him to post this in the first place.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago

    Friends are good for you

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  • [–] 11 points 4 months ago

    his "work wife" is likely his sidepiece.

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  • [–] 11 points 4 months ago

    most of my colleagues are women, I get along with them great. We occasionally socialize a couple of times a year outside work. I would be mortified for anyone to think they were anything more than purely colleagues.

    like I wouldn't really be happy to think of them as friends - not that they're not lovely people, just that I have my friends who are friends, and these are nice people I work with.

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  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I'm bald so I don't remember ... is that what hair is supposed to look like?

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  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago

    Yah, they're fucking.

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  • [–] 16 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Intersting the way people assume "wife" means sex, and not the more likely analogy that she does all the shitty work to aid his career.

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  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago* (1 child)

    Wife implies sex. The whole thing is usually “we would be fucking if we weren’t married to other people”. They can deny it all they want, but it’s mostly true.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    I've had a "work wife" or two at every job I've had. Most of them were married, and I never hooked up with them. One of them told me she loved me, and divorced her husband because she wanted someone like me, even though we never so much as kissed. Two of them (single) became girlfriends, so not really "work wives." I had two bosses' wives hit on me, which I avoided. I haven't kept in touch with any of them.

    There are a lot of women in the art and design field.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    I'm just, uh... I mean... wut?

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    Corporate shit that just needs to die

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    work wife=side piece, assuming he has a real wife.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago

    Slippery slope

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