Could be big picture, like a life goal. Could be what you want right this moment. What do you yearn for?

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[–] 39 points 4 months ago (4 children)

A world in which people with Antisocial Personality Disorders are institutionalized rather than being put in charge of governments and corporations.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    I'm pleased to inform you that most people suffering from ASPD have in fact been victimised by the police, and that the politicians and billionaires you're thinking of don't have ASPD.

    I know it can feel comforting to have some pseudoscientific explanation of which people are fundamentally good and which people are born evil. But there is no Jewish illuminati, there is no lizard people illuminati, and there is no neurodivergent illuminati. Extreme wealth turns people evil, regardless of what race, religion, or neurotype they were born with.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    maybe. but imo extreme wealth hoarding is usually only possible/successful by people with little empathy who exploit others around them

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    You just described being a bad person. Yes, billionaires are bad people. But being a bad person isn't a mental disorder. That's not what psychiatry is for.

    The diagnosis of ASPD came from early psychiatrists working in insane asylums, describing patterns they saw in the patients. Wealthy politicians don't get sent to mental institutions.

    The diagnosis of ASPD was invented by doctors who wanted a model to help them improve the lives of their patients. You know, help them emotionally regulate so that they can function in society and get a job, instead of antagonising the police and being put in a prison. Wealthy politicians don't need a doctor to help them with their people skills.

    These harmful stereotypes about neurodivergent people happen when we start thinking like Batman writers. When we view mental disorders as a monster manual. Instead of what they really are, which is a model for helping people.

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  • [+] 19 points 4 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    I am doing everything to get 07:45 (5 REMs + 15m) or 09:15 (6 REMs +15m) a night. I take 15m to fall asleep. Sometimes I wake more refreshed some less, some days I can't sleep because I am not tired even though I exercised and did tons of mental work on the day. It is very weird but still following that guideline helped tremendously

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  • [–] 19 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Enough money to never work again, be comfortable, and live in isolation, preferably in the woods.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)

    So about £25k? The problem is getting permission to live in the woods rather than the cost. Or if you buy a house already there with the woods it will cost millions.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I'm on year four of living in the woods. That 25k would have lasted about the first 4 months... Maybe. Infrastructure is expensive and carrying water from the creek to boil for use gets old fast.

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  • [–] 18 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    A fresh start somewhere around ~2-3 years ago with the mental help I needed at that time

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    Hi me. It's never too late to try. I finally started getting the help I needed, and it was 2 years too late and after I already permanently ruined my chance at something really good that only happens once in a lifetime, but better late than never, right?

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  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago

    A fresh start, and I'm currently planning to make that happen.

    First step: Get promotion with pay bump [Done]

    Second step: Increase client hour utilisation with work to support an interstate move and be set up with strong income flow right from the start [Done]

    Third Step: Figure out where to live in the new city [In progress]

    Fourth step: Move [TODO]

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  • [–] 25 points 4 months ago (21 children)

    I want my own place. So tired of living with my folks as a 30 something. I just want my own fucking place.

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  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Come to northern Maine! Cheap houses up here. They're maybe not the best, but if you're handy and have tools, it's not bad. I bought mine with a $5500 downpayment, and I have 10 acres of land.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    This seems more common in the US - I wonder what the nuance there is to explain this. I doubt people in my country are any more wealthy in relative terms yet pretty much everyone has moved out by the point they're 20. I bought my house at 27 years of age and I had lived in 4 different rental apartments before that. My parents supported me with 50€/week for few years but that's it.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (16 children)

    Is there a reason you don’t have one? Couldn’t you just get one?

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  • [+] 4 points 4 months ago (16 children)
  • [–] 0 points 4 months ago (15 children)

    Right. But in much of the world the average wage would be sufficient to cover a home. Not that one should if they can co-live with family or friends, but seeing as op desires their own home the most (the thread), I would assume they’d choose not to. Which comes back to usually being able to “just get one” if one really wants that. Unless they have no income. But almost always that’s a problem that can be solved with enough resolve, disabilities and such notwithstanding.

    All to say, if one’s own home is the dearest wish one has, that’s, in vast majority of cases, entirely doable. Which is to say, the dream will come true in this case, with some work and resolve. Unlike some of the other dreams here. Which is an amazing thing, and a hopeful one for the op, which I was trying to highlight to them

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago*

    Getting an average wage is something 50% of people are unable to do.

    Fortunately I live in the UK where minimum wage is pretty decent. But even with that, many people struggle to get full employment. At least if you do have full employment you shouldn't have any financial issues here unless you just spend it all but at that point it's more of a skill issue.

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  • [+] 5 points 4 months ago (14 children)
  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    Oh I’ve been homeless, couch-surfed and unemployed with clinical depression that recurs even today, driving those periods of my life.

    But I’ve found my footing each time with a bit of resolve and bad enough situation to eventually accrue and warrant the resolve. And luckily, friends and empathetic strangers.

    But I live in the 1st world and have also had a family to help and overall safe and helpful society to fall back on, even when I’ve fucking lost the map, not even able to kill myself due to my cowardice, no place to stay, ashamed to ask for help for months at end.

    So I know a little, the hard way, about not having a home. Not even the one the op has with their parents.

    But I also know, the hard way here too, that it’s only about surviving long enough to accumulate enough resolve to figure things out. If you outlast the call of the void and the shame and despair and the uncertainty of even things like where to sleep this night, can I manage something to eat, etc. then it ultimately works out, with enough resolve.

    And when it doesn’t, it doesn’t matter anymore. Losing the resolve is either answering the void or giving up and accepting the bleak situation, until you one day either retry with resolve, or join eternity.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    My dude.

    And luckily, friends and empathetic strangers.

    Stop undervaluing what was the single most important part of your experience. Not everyone has friends, family, or access to people who don't want to fuck them or fuck them over.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Wasn’t my intent to undervalue it. Just noting that the strangers for example, could’ve happened to anyone, those times it just happened to be me. I am privileged in that alone, but the privilege isn’t or wasn’t inherent or special to me, just pure chance.

    Which is to say, it could and can happen to anyone. Which is the point I wanted to raise, I think. Life and world is chaotic. Nobody’s excluded or fully shielded from good luck. Nor bad shit. Some might have more things going for them one way or the other, but nothing in this chaos entirely discounts anyone, ever.

    But these were weird ramblings from me, I tried (and failed) to make a point and be coherent. I’m not an authority to listen to here, not really sure where the confidence came to present myself as such in these comments.

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  • [+] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 0 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    In that sense, everyone is and can be lucky. It’s not like you know or feel, at the time, that things would ever improve. Things feel final. It never feels like you’ll get another chance at life.

    Yet, most do. I was lucky in that it never took years. But even those seemingly stuck, tens of years on the street, can always get a chance, be it luck or resolve. Or both. I suppose luck means nothing if you don’t have the resolve to seize the chance and do something with it.

    All to say, with some resolve, and yes, luck, having your own roof over your head is not a far shot, it’s the genuine common case for most everyone. Maybe it takes time and work, and luck, and will, but there’s no place in world where it wasn’t generally the average person’s situation, as in, more likely than not.

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  • [+] 2 points 4 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    I get where you are coming from, and fair enough, but I strongly feel it’s more sensible not to mirror this through the worst possible scenario, but the average one.

    Either way you make more sense here than I, through a more empathetic and understanding lense, and ultimately I’m not sure what it is exactly I intended to convey with all this back and forth.

    Maybe just that things are not always as hopeless as they seem, and if a thing feels out of reach, at the time, unachievable, doesn’t always make it so, or mean it’ll always be so.

    But the “all you need is some elbow grease” pathos I’m really not sure where that came from, I didn’t intend it to sound that way, but reading back, that’s what my responses sound like.

    Oh well. As long as we dare to dream and hope, we are still alive. And as long as we are alive, it’s never too late for anything, however unlikely or distant they may seem.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (7 children)

    Median is a type of average, tbh both mean and median wages are plenty in most developed countries - if you actually get that much. Which half or more than half of people don't get, depending on which one you are using.

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  • [+] 1 point 4 months ago (7 children)
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (6 children)

    I also live in the UK and bought a house on minimum wage. Cheaper part of the south east but still costs a bit more than where I grew up in the south west.

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  • [+] 1 point 4 months ago (6 children)
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (5 children)

    Renting a bedroom, after rent I didn't really spend much else, food was only like £10-15 a week, was saving £5-10k a year.

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  • [+] 1 point 4 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (4 children)

    20 years of that would pretty much buy an entire house, not just a deposit. Not sure how it's having no life either.

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  • [+] 1 point 4 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago* (3 children)

    Cars cost a shitload, so I didn't get one and just walk/cycled to work. Spent that money on rounds at spoons instead.

    Also plenty of flats for less if you are buying on your own. Expecting an entire house on your own is probably a bit much for most people.

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  • [+] 1 point 4 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)

    £20k sounds like a long time ago or a complete dump. But a bit more can get something alright. Depends what you want to spend of course.

    I either moved to walking distance of work or only looked for jobs I could walk/cycle to.

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  • [+] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (1 child)

    Sounds not too far off the house we got tbh. Though no obvious signs of smoking, just a musty damp smell. Replacing the 4 layers of wallpaper was fun and then plastering the patches where the plaster just about fell off the wall.

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  • [–] 12 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I've only ever wanted 3 things in life, the fourth desire came later on.

    Stability.

    A loving relationship.

    A stable, well paying job. (Not looking to be rich, just not relegated to renting illegal shitty apartments.)

    My own home.

    I'm turning 40 this year and I've gotten 0/4 so far...

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  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago

    I would like to live in a global society were the worst off person has a decent life. food, housing, medicine, education.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago

    I want my ex to get her shit together. For the sake of our kid. Get your drivers license already, get a job, stop sponging off me, and kindly show him that he can have two stable parents instead of one stable parent and one who’s a hot mess.

    And I want to get put on salary at work but that’s a pipe dream.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago

    For things to stop getting worse

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    I want a rusty axe, I wanna know voodoo, A fat bitch named bridgett, And a little sip of faygo too

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    The power to eradicate all mosquitoes in the world in one fell swoop

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  • [–] 0 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    You'd eliminate every other animal that eats them in one fell swoop too.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago

    My mom back

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago

    An RTX 5090

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago*

    I want the island base the bad guy has in The Man With the Golden Gun. And maybe the golden gun, too. Don't need the 3rd nipple, tho.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago

    Proper wealth distribution for now and in perpetuity (no billionaires or trillionaires. Apparently my spell-check doesn't recognize the latter as a word, so it's got the right idea.) I'd like global warming to be fixed, AI to disappear, and for people to use critical thinking on a daily basis both for the news they encounter, and to reflect on their own beliefs.

    Then once that's accomplished, I'd like to be aged back to my mid-20s so I can have a family. I love kids, but the idea is absolutely unfeasible with the way the world is. Even if things started getting fixed today, it would take years if not decades for everything to settle, and I'd be in the "advanced maternal age" camp with all its risks, or straight up going through menopause before it's all done. Even if I adopted, I'd rather have more youth myself so I can keep up with the kids.

    The rich really, truly fucked the world (and shot themselves in the foot) by making it prohibitively expensive for so many of us to survive.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Money, so I can afford a completely impractical networking setup I'll never use to its full potential. It'll be damn fun setting it up though

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    My health back (post covid syndrome).

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    Being content and at peace without being constantly tired or feel shame and guilt about finding it.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    To sleep a little more after an alarm wakes me up. Every time.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)
    [+] 6 points 4 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Money so i could expand my collection of retro games

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Perfect health

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Unironically, money//stable income. Being piss poor has resulted a lower experience of life for us, every time we get some money it’s all spent on necessities we neglected for a long time due to not having income. We don’t want to be rich, but we do want to have a stable and reasonable income where we can save up for things we want and spend a reasonable amount on living.

    In that sense it would only be reachable for us if we owned our own business, we’ve been thinking of opening a record shop (that also has cool collectibles/comics/etc stuffs) with an online shop and even sell some home made art stuff. Or get really big in our current business with art commissions. Regardless one way or another, there has to be a couch or a day bed where we can lay down for when our chronic pains flare up and we will be slay trans girl behind the counter 💅🏻 lmao.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Peace and consideration.

    I want to be able to help and make my neighborhood better and feed my family but without the frantic pace. I once had a surgery that put me in the hospital for a few days. Even with the recovery and pain and everything, it remains one of my happiest memories. I was resting, cared for, and looked after. I have none of that in my daily life.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    I want the american tech industry to stop ruining the world.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    To be able to live life comfortably without always worrying about not having enough money

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    The vegetables I grow to get eaten by insects less often. Giving up on kale as it's been stripped bare.

    Living a bit closer to the sea would be nice too, it's only a 5 mins bike ride but close to half an hour to walk which is a little awkward if I wanted to take a kayak.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago
    [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    Satisfaction

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  • My Master's degree, if not a PhD, preferably in Sweden or at least the EU. Space was my original aspiration but now I'm thinking renewable energy or a similar engineering field with an eye toward helping adapt to climate change.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I want Steam Frame to come out and be in stock long enough for me to buy it. I don't even care how much it will cost, although I'd never buy from a scalper.

    I've not felt such child-like excitement for a new toy in years.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    Good! I want a steam controller and found a used offer for 110€ but that is still above the price of 100€. I shall not be tempted. So I sent an offer for 75€.

    My reservation will be fulfilled at some point! Dave the Diver can wait a bit longer.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    I want the world to stop being run by "the economy"'s rules and its parasite cultists

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    I would love to spend the rest of my life creating open source software. Bonus points for working on my own projects and getting them to a state where other people can use them.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    For myself: a fulfilling career

    For the world: a better society where nobody is struggling to survive

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    Peace of mind I guess. I tend to worry a lot even though I wouldn't need to.

    I could list plenty of material things I want but when I get one I just start wanting the next thing. I don't need any of it and I can pretty much buy anything I wish if I so choose to so I'm not deprived of anything I actually need.

    Relationship.. maybe. Depends on the day. I'm quite content on my own as well.

    Time. Yeah, that's it. I want more time. Much more.

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